That Which We Call A Rose
by Twilightholic-Tanya
Summary: Tis but thy name that is my enemy...It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man...And for thy name, which is no part of thee, take all myself. - Romeo and Juliet ACT II SCENE II
1. Prologue: Forbidden

Sometimes I wish I had never met you, because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.  
**-Good Will Hunting  
**

"We shouldn't do this," she whispered and her voice floated in the darkness.

His eyes glittered in the pale moonlight that seeped in through the windows. She could see the shape of his perfectly straight nose.

The shadows made his face look darker and pronounced his beautiful features. The strong cheek bones and hard jaw. The way his lips curved in the devil's smile.

"All the more reason we should," he breathed barely making a sound but flashing a smile that made her stomach flip.

His lips dipped down to capture hers once more but she turned her head and his lips touched her cheek. The instant he touched her she was aflame. Every part of her burned. She wanted more.

"No! It's not! We can't," she said and pushed him away quickly

She pushed off the wall she had been leaning against and walked past him. His scent was all around him.

She felt a shiver run down her spine slowly.

She walked toward the open French doors. The cool breeze floated into the room and made the curtains flutter. She stepped out into the balcony and leaned against the railing.

Everything was so wrong in her life.

Everything was so complicated.

Her heart and mind fought a constant war and when one seemed to gain the upper hand she was reminded why she was in this situation and it was back to constant fighting. She let her head down.

She heard his silent footsteps walk onto the balcony.

"I know this is, more confusing than anyone would expect, but Bella you have to understand, if I could stop. If I could know what the right choice was…I would do it," he whispered and his soft velvety seemed to melt into the dark night.

She raised her head and stared at him.

"Will this ever be right? Why do we torture ourselves? Surely we can't go anywhere. We can't—" she was cut off when he suddenly captured her lips with a kiss.

It was soft and slow and she felt her lips move with his. The molded together. He pulled away slowly breaking the kiss. He placed his forehead against her.

She could feel his hands on the back of her neck. His thumb slowly wiped a tear away from her cheek.

She hadn't even known she'd been crying.

"Don't…Don't say things like that, Bella. I know what we have is the farthest thing from perfect and we probably hurt more from it than enjoy it, but I couldn't imagine life another way. I couldn't imagine me without you and to hear that you could…it kills me," he breathed.

She could _feel_ his hurt.

"That's the problem. I can't and it scares me. Dammit Edward for the first time, I don't know what to do. I'm so confused," she told him.

He sighed and let her go. He leaned onto the railing and let his head hang back as he stared at the dark cloudy sky.

"You ever think that this is the way it's supposed to be? That it was fate's way of saying it just has to end?" he asked and brought his eyes down to meet hers.

"What do you mean," she asked.

"I mean…" he trailed off and turned around to face her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her close. Her face flushed and he gently ran his fingers over her cheek.

He brought his fingers under her chin. Slowly he placed his lips on hers and what started out slow quickly became a battle. Their mouths opened and she felt her tongue explore him.

She ran her hands through his hair and felt her heart race. Her body burned.

She knew what he meant then.

There would be no other living soul to make her feel this way. To make her feel the very way she did right now.

It simply wasn't possible.

They belonged together.

She couldn't possible imagine being as happy as she was with this very man. It didn't matter that she hurt when he was with her, because the highs of their very confusing relationship was enough to make it all worthwhile.

But even so, the choice still seemed to haunt her.

She had the hardest choice in her hands because she knew she had to pick one and only one.

She couldn't have both.

Edward or her family?

How could fate be so cruel?

She felt the tears well up and slip down her flushed cheeks. Edward pulled away and looked at her with worried eyes.

"I can't choose. I don't want to. It hurts too much," she sobbed.

He looked at her for a moment. He once again released her and took a few steps backward. Her words made sense to him. She knew.

The moment he was gone she felt cold and incomplete. She never knew one man could have such an effect on her, but he did.

"I love you, too much to ever make you. I'm not forcing you to stay with me," he said.

Her head snapped up to meet his glittering eyes.

He told her, he loved her.

He loved her.

He had never directly spoken that to her. She knew he did, but to hear it for the very first time from his lips, from his voice, it brought a sense of joy. She could only stare at him.

She could feel herself smile.

Everything suddenly didn't matter to her.

She still didn't know what to choose or which was the better one. The one true love, or her loving family, but she didn't think she could ever make the choice because she couldn't live without either of them

The both were so important to her; to have them both would be a fairy tale.

She stared in his eyes hoping that perhaps the answer was there. All she could see was the fear that she might leave and the love he had for her.

But suddenly the choice seemed less pressuring and hurtful.

"I can't force myself to leave," she said took the steps that brought her closer to him.

- - -

_**Okay so this is short, but hey it's just a prologue. It's also the first time I've ever done a prologue because I don't really like being tied down to a certain plot or story line, but I feel this story needs one. **_

_**Anyway I would love to hear all your amazing thoughts on this and since the next chapter is already finished I promise to update ASAP, but only if you bless me with reviews!!**_

_**Twilightholic-Tanya**_


	2. Liar

Love hurts more than hate.  
**- Michael Todd**

"What happened?" I asked as I fetched the first aid kit from my bag.

"Emmett Cullen happened," Rosalie spat her eyes heating.

"It's just a busted lip and a cut, Rosie," Jasper said and I handed Rosalie the kit. She quickly started to wipe the blood away. Jasper had a deep cut underneath his right eyes. She poured some peroxide on a pack of cotton balls and started to gently dab the cut.

"It doesn't matter, Jazz. You just can't pick a fight whenever you want! You have to use your brain sometimes," Rosalie scolded and started to unpeel a bandage. He rolled his dark blue eyes and pushed the hair out of his eyes.

I sat on the bench next to Jasper, sandwiching him.

"Thanks for coming, Bella. You're the only person I knew who carries a first aid kit with them at all times," Rosalie said flashing me a smile.

"Well it's nice to know my clumsiness comes in handy," I joked.

"I hope I didn't interrupt you from anything," Jasper said sullenly.

"No, of course not," I said and checked out his lip. It didn't look too bad. He wasn't in bad shape except for the cut and lip. He had a light bruise on the side of his left eye, but it was barely visible.

"How'd you get here so fast anyway?" Rosalie asked as she gently placed the bandage on the cut. I could see Rosalie pure look of relief. She worried for her reckless brother. He worried me too. I could kill him sometimes.

"I was already in the park. I decided to take a walk. Enjoy the few days of summer left," I said softly the fear and nerves already seeping through my voice.

"Hey, you've been in Forks the whole summer. School will be a breeze," Jasper said as he gently pushed my shoulder. I offered a smile and Rosalie put the stuff back in the small plastic box and handed it back to me.

I opened my bag and pushed it in before attaching it on my back once again.

"Yea I guess. Ouch, he got you pretty bad," I said knowing Emmett's size and knowing if he threw a punch it was bound to pack about twenty pounds of muscle behind it.

"Eh, wasn't too bad. I got in a few good ones myself. His eye's gonna be black for a while," Jasper said smiling like a chessy cat. Rosalie smacked his arm, hard.

"Ow! What the—"

"This is not something to be proud of! This isn't a joke. He really could have hurt you," she scolded and her voice raised an octave. Her eyes were tear filled but she wouldn't cry. Rosalie never cried.

"I'm sorry, Rose," Jasper apologized knowing his limits with Rosie and knowing when not to push too far.

"You scared me," she bit out glaring daggers at him. He shrugged and stood up.

"That's cause I'm not living life, fearing them," he said calmly and walked away. We sat there staring at his tall form as he walked away and down the park trail.

Rosalie sighed and let her head fall in her hands. I scooted closer to her and put an arm around her shoulders. She laid her head on my shoulder and stared blankly ahead. I smoothed her golden blonde hair. Rosalie was always worried about her brother. He was her twin. They connected in the weirdest way possible.

I've seen it since I was 7. When I really started to notice how strong a bond my cousins shared. It was as strong as nature itself. You couldn't break it.

"I don't know what to do. God, Bella he's scares me when he gets into these damn rumbles. He's so childish. He acts like he has to continue the whole damn war that they started," she babbled and lose blond curls fell into her face as she sat up straight. I knew who they were.

The generation before us, and the generation before them and so on.

"Look Rose, things are hard for him right now. I mean it doesn't help that both our grandfathers keep filling his head with all their hatred. He has one more year, you both do. Then you guys can leave here, forever and perhaps do a better job than my father," I said with a smile and she laughed. A few of the teenage boys playing Frisbee were distracted as they looked over at her.

Rosalie was a beautiful person. She had looks and confidence and beauty of the soul.

"Ah, Bella, at least your father tried. He wanted to raise his family away from this, not my dad. My dad only feeds him more wood to the already burning fire. It never ends," Rosalie sighed.

"It's not like that at all. My dad hates them as much as yours. The only reason he moved was for my mother. The only reason he came back was for granddad. You know how his heart problems are acting up on him," I said softly and stared at the dirt path in front of me.

"Yea, but you only witnessed a summer of trouble," she breathed and stood up.

"Rosie—"

"Forget it, Bella. I'm gonna go check on Jazz," she snapped quickly and walked away. I sighed. I felt like pulling my hair out. I couldn't do anything right by her. I knew what she felt. She felt like I was an outsider trying to understand.

She had enough of that.

I was at a total lost when it came to her.

A cool summer breeze decided to make itself present at the moment. With it, it brought all the wonderful scents of summer. Sunshine, grass, fresh dirt, and sweets of all kind. I pulled my back pack out and opened it until I took out the novel I wanted.

Rosalie and Jazz called me a bookworm to the core. I agreed. If there was one thing I knew, was that books were the best escape. To live as someone else if only for a moment was the best.

But my mind couldn't focus on the words. It drifted off.

Drifted off to when I moved here. When I had to put up with a grumbling grandfather. Every sentence he spoke cursed the damn Cullen's into the seventh layer of Hades.

I drifted off to when I first saw the first Cullen. The tiny Alice. She was perky and laughing in the only mall in forks. I watched as she passed the small bookstore with a group of girls and a tall blonde boy she was hanging on.

She was small and gorgeous. Her hair short with different color spikes. I remember as she glanced at me with eyes that were bright and cheery. In the same second she looked away and rushed off.

I remember when I first saw Emmett Cullen. I was sitting in the bleachers of the school waiting for Rosalie when he and a group of guys came into the field. All laughing and pushing each other around like a bunch of jocks. He was tall and so big I actually shivered in fear. His hair was dark and curly and he looked up at me.

His eyes were full of laughter and he wore a bright smile. He took one look at me and then turned and hit one of his buddies in the head. He stole the football and started to run away.

I remember seeing Carlisle. I had sliced my hand while helping my mother with dinner. She rushed me over to the hospital and I sat in the waiting room while my mother talked to the receptionist. My hand was covered in a bloody towel and he walked in. He was tall, but unlike his children he was blonde. He walked in, talked with one of the other patients in the waiting room, and walked out. He didn't even glance at me but I knew he saw me.

I remember meeting Esme. I was shopping for ingredients for one of my mother's crazy recipes and I bumped carts with her. The force made me stumbled backward and I let go of the cart falling on the floor. She rushed over and helped me up, apologizing the whole time in her sweet tender voice.

I could tell her children picked up her traits. Her hair was dark and her skin pale. Her eyes were a bright hazel. She took a glance at me. Forced a tight smile and walked away.

The only Cullen I had yet to meet was Edward Cullen. I didn't know how he looked or where he hung out. I only knew his name.

He was a loner, Rose had said. He was the odd one out, Jasper had told me.

"Isn't it kind of hard to read when you're not looking at the words?" a soft voice asked and I was broken out of my reverie. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked for the source of the voice.

I could be cheesy in my description of the boy, but I wouldn't bother. To say he was gorgeous would be an understatement.

He smiled lifting one side more than the other. A crooked smile.

I blushed and closed my book.

"I was distracted," I answered.

"May I ask by what?" he said lightly.

"Just…some things," I said and sighed.

"Was it a boy?" he asked smiling wider. He was teasing me. I laughed and looked at him. His bright green eyes twinkled with mischief. The breeze blew again sending the small trickles of hair that landed in his face to flutter.

"A little," I said not knowing why I was even talking to him.

"Ah, and does this mysterious boy have a name," he asked.

"I haven't met a person who doesn't?" I said a bit confused. He laughed this time.

"True, but sometimes if you admire someone from afar you don't know the name," he explained. I blushed again.

"I don't admire him. It's the farthest thing from that," I said softly and looked down at my book. I gently strummed my fingers on it making a steady rhythm. I looked around and noticed that the buzz in the park had died down. The boys who had been playing had left and there were no longer couples walking past me. A few kids were playing tag a few yards away and there were distant sounds of dog barks in the air.

"I see," he said and leaned back on the bench.

"I doubt it," I said softly.

"Is he a Cullen?" the boy asked raising an eyebrow. I eyed him skeptically. This town was small, I knew that. But I wasn't aware on how many people actually knew of the rivalry.

"Maybe," I said and he laughed.

"And you're the newest member of the Swan family?" he asked.

"How do you even know this?" I asked.

"Sweets, this isn't a big city. This is the town with gossiping families in every corner. It's hard not hear the latest subject of gossip," he sighed.

"So then, give me the 411," I said and turned to face him. He laughed and let his head fall back.

"Okay, but this is just going by gossip. Um let's see. Well there is the news that Charles son has moved back, bringing back with him his wife, Renee, and his lovely daughter, Isabella. So with the move of more Swans the tension has grown between the two families. Am I right so far?" he asked raising his head and cocking an eyebrow.

"You're good," I said and he smiled the simple crooked smile once again.

"Of course I am."

"So you know me, who are you?" I asked.

"Why don't you just call me Anthony for now," he said and winked. I blushed again.

"So what's your preference? Isabella, Bell, Bella, what?" he asked.

"I prefer Bella," I said.

"Okay, then. Well your nothing compared to the rumors going on about you," he said. I raised my eyebrows in question.

"Oh well some say you're lovely, other said you look like you crawled from under a rock," he said and I flinched a bit. Ouch.

"What do you say?" I asked.

"Well that's for me to keep. But I don't agree with the latter," he said and I blushed again.

"Well, thanks, I guess," I said softly.

"So what Cullen boy was annoying you?" Anthony asked and I looked to meet his eyes. His green eyes matched the scenery in this small town. They were so bright.

"Edward," I admitted without giving much thought. He raised his eyebrows.

"Why?" he blurted.

"I don't really know, but he was the boy I was thinking about," I answered.

"Have you met him?"

"No. That's sorta why I was annoyed. I mean, like you said this town is pretty small so how I kept avoiding him, I have no idea," I said and leaned back.

"Ever think he was avoiding you?" Anthony questioned.

"Maybe. I shouldn't let him bother me anyway," I said and started to put my book in my back pack once again.

I stood up from the wooden bench and turned to face Anthony. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"I should get going. It's getting pretty late. I'll see you around then," I said and he nodded.

"Yes, most likely," he said and flashed another smile.

I nodded and started to walk away.

"Uh, Bella?" he called and I turned shortly. He rose a finger a beckoned me over. Curious I slowly walked back toward him.

"Yes," I asked when I stood right in front of him.

"Well, I was wondering if you could do a favor for me," he said slowly and ran a hand threw his hair as he leaned back on the bench.

"I don't—"

"It's not a big one. Just answering a question," he interrupted me. I took the bait and sat back down.

"Okay, shoot."

"Alright well. It seems no one really knows why the Swans and Cullens hate each other except…that it's been going on for generations. Do you know?" he asked and I pursed my lips while I thought.

"Growing up…I was to believe that the Cullens were dirty lying cheaters. I know the recent heat is from faulty business deals. To be honest, I don't even think I know," I said letting a breath out and placed my hands on my knees.

"Do you believe their dirty lying cheaters?" he asked and it was quiet while he waited for an answer.

"I've never had proof, but I've never had reason not believe my grandfather, or my father," I said and quickly stood up. I started to walk away without a good bye; because I wasn't too sure I liked Anthony.

"Thank you, Bella," he called and I turned my head slightly to see him. I only nodded and continued walking home.

~0~o~0~o~

"You should have stayed in your desert. I don't see why she has to come and go to school—"

"With those devil children," I finished for my grandfather as I placed a quick kiss on his cheek. He turned his head to get a look at me and glared.

"Dad," my father sighed and Granddad snapped.

"Don't you, Dad, me. I didn't ask you to come home Charlie!"

"Hey, no more fighting. I'll be fine. I can hold my own," I said and grabbed a muffin from the basket on the kitchen table.

"See she has smarts," my mother said as she entered the kitchen. There was a faint car horn from outside.

"Well that's my queue. I'll see you later, love yous," I quickly said as I made my way to the front door. I could hear Granddad throw warnings behind me but ignored them. Today would be tough enough without him having a fit.

The last weekend of summer had flown before my eyes. I hadn't had any encounters with Anthony any more, but I had been spending time in the park, hoping to run into him again. I didn't know, why, but I wanted to see him again.

But in a blink I was sitting on a park bench, now I'm sitting in the back seat of Jasper's car.

Rosalie chatted about some of her friends and her latest crush. She fixed her makeup and scolded me for not wearing any. Jasper fiddled with the radio, switching from some sort of indie band, to rock band, to rap.

I would never understand his taste in music. Pretty soon we were in the school.

It was while looking for my first class where I saw him. He was leaning against a locker talking with a group of kids. His red hair played in his face and he shot a smile to a girl who was fiddling with her hair and then he looked up.

He saw me. His green eyes sparkled and I looked down at my schedule to see what class I was heading to. I turned and started to walk away.

"Hey," he called and his voice echoed in the nearly empty halls.

I slowed and he caught up.

"Where you headed?" he asked as he matched my footsteps.

"Room, 312. I said and looked at the doors.

"Well if you're not careful people will mistake you for a freshman. I mean do you even know what they do to freshman here?" he asked. He was teasing me again.

"Well then I'm just going to have to duck my way out of trouble. People usually ignore me anyway," I sighed.

"Do you want help?" he asked.

"Are you offering?"

"Are you taking it?"

I narrowed my eyes and sighed because the first bell had rung and if I didn't get to class in three minutes I was going to be late.

"Fine. Where is it?" I asked and he flashed a smug smile. He walked me to the class room and when I expected him to walk away he flashed me a wicked smile opened the door and walked in.

I stood there for a moment, but opened the door and walked in behind him. He had already taken a seat in the back of the class and he looked bored and careless.

The class looked up and I caught a few dirty looks from the class mates. I suspected they were on the Cullen's side and instantly hated me.

The teacher, whatever her name was stared at me for a moment and then turned to the bored.

I walked to the back and took the only empty seat.

The one next to Anthony.

He didn't talk to me or even look at me. I didn't know why, but the class seemed to sneak looks our way. Then the whispering came and the note passing.

"Mr. Cullen, do you mind answering the next question?" the teacher asked.

I looked around the class for a moment, expecting Emmett Cullen to pop out somewhere or finally meet the elusive Edward Cullen, when the answer came from next to me.

Anthony had answered the question, but…

I sank in my seat dumbfounded. The whispering and the looks finally made sense. But the behavior in the park and offering to take to my class wasn't. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. I didn't look at him. I looked straight ahead and wished I was anywhere but here.

I could feel the anger boiling and my eyes started to prickle with tears, because I cried when I was angry. I bit them back and started at the clock.

He was Edward Cullen. He lied and acted like a friend.

He was an enemy.

But that wasn't what I was angry about. I was angry because for the first time I doubted my grandfather.

I was angry because I wished he wasn't the enemy.

And that was wrong.

- - -  
**_Okay, I know I told you that this chapter was finished and I would post it up soon…well that was true…but then I felt that the chapter I had written was all wrong so I had to rewrite the chapter. This is the rewritten version. I would have posted it earlier except my internet wasn't working in my laptop (where I held my stories), but I got it fixed for now and was able to switch the chapters to my main computer. So now everything is in order and I can now update. _**

**_Anyway. Let me know what you think of the story.  
BTW: I know lots of you think I'm trying to recreate Romeo and Juliet but that's not true. Romeo and Juliet gave me inspiration for this story but I will never be able to do the story justice so instead I took all the forbidden romance stories I know and jumbled them together.  
REVIEW!! Please_**

**_Twilightholic-Tanya _**


	3. Secret

Things forbidden have a secret charm  
**-****Publius Cornelius Tacitus**

I sat still for the rest of the hour. I stared blankly ahead. I felt betrayed and hurt and beyond all, I felt anger. Thick and strong like an untamed sea. I could feel warm tears well up in my eyes. Most from the anger.

I hadn't wanted to move back. I really didn't need the petty drama that went on in this amazingly small town. I buried my nails into my palms and bit hard on my lip to keep myself from turning and saying exactly what I felt. I watched the clock and the slow ticks of the hand move.

When the shrill bell finally rung I took off, surprising myself with my speed and grace. Not once did I trip and I was glad I didn't need it either. I looked down at my wrinkled class schedule. I had mangled it in the class room when looking for a distraction. I couldn't see clearly so instead I went into a girl's bathroom. The bathroom was empty.

I took a deep breath and placed my things on the counter. What was I suppose to do now? I stood over the sink. Eventually I pulled away and stared at my schedule. The bathroom door opened and I looked up. I glared.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and he offered a smile as he clicked the door locked.

"I want to—"

"You do realize this is a female restroom. Did you pass biology?" I spat with anger.

"I just—"

"What did you think I was? Some prank? Were you planning on getting revenge? Messing with me because I was the new Swan girl?" I snapped anger rising a bit too much.

"Look I was—"

"No! You look. I don't want any part of this stupid feud going on between the families okay? I'm just here until graduation and then I can promise you, I won't be back here. So whatever score you're trying to settle, just leave me out of it! Okay?!" I said a bit too loudly. I threw my bag over my shoulder and pushed past him toward the door.

"Bella…" he said softly.

"Just leave me alone, _Edward_," I spat, opened the door, and walked out leaving him in the restroom.

He didn't bother me. He didn't come to chase after me. The rest of the day continued and he didn't even glance at me. We had several classes together, but he ignored me.

I went to my first few classes in a bit of a rage, but soon ignored it. He wasn't worth it. I had Rosalie in my last class before lunch. She asked me how my first day was going; I assured her it was fine.

When lunch strolled around I sat with Rosalie and Jasper and a few other kids. Angela, Ben, and another boy I could not remember. It was strange how the lunch room seemed to be set. I notice then that the rival between families didn't only affect us, it affected the whole town.

There seemed to be a middle drawn somewhere. I assumed the kids sitting there were neutral. They weren't glaring or snickering just laughing and minding their business. There weren't a lot of them. Maybe 15 all together. I guess Rosalie and Jasper were just as popular as the Cullen's. But I wished I could have sat in the middle. I was so sick of the glares and whispers when I walked by. I had done nothing to these people, yet they hated me, because Swan happened to be my last name.

They acted as though I should be ashamed of whom I was, but I wasn't. How could I be? I loved my family; I just hated their troubles that seemed to follow me like a lost puppy.

The end of the school day couldn't come fast enough. When the final bell finally did ring I raced to the car and sat in the back while Jasper and I waited for Rosalie.

"You okay?" he asked as I stared out the window. I looked up at him.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. It was a long day," I sighed and closed my eyes as I let my head rest against the leather seating. Today had been long. I was up to my elbows in school work. Half the kids in the school building hated me. The Cullen kids scared me.

Alice because she seemed so breezy and happy. She didn't put up a fuss when the Coach assigned her as my partner. She even made small talk and was just so happy. I'm convinced she's plotting something against me. She didn't mind the whispers that floated around her when talked to me. I didn't say much to her. She understood.

Emmett laughed when I dropped my things going to Spanish and was stopped when Edward glared at him, but after Edward had walked away Emmett shot me a cold glare that turned my bones into ice. I was sure he would never physically harm me, but he still scared me to death. I knew that's what he was trying to do and I wasn't too proud to admit it was working

Edward scared me the most though. He scared me the most because it was harder to ignore him. Harder to act like he was an enemy. I didn't know why it was though; I just knew that it terrified me. He didn't bother me, even defended me against his burly brother. To top it off, in class when the whispers started and approached him, he somehow managed to stop them. No one even glanced at me anymore after that, but it was only limited to the classes he was in.

"Well you'll get use to it. It's not so bad though," he said as Rosalie started walking toward the car. She passed Alice and Emmett who were leaning against a silver Volvo with a few of Emmett's jock friends. Jasper was true to his word; Emmett did have a fading black eye even after the weekend fight. I didn't hear the actual words Emmett had told her because I was too far away. But whatever comment he had told her caused a few of his friends to chuckle and Alice to roll her eyes. Jasper tensed and I could see his muscles in his arm flex in anger.

His hand landed on the handle of the car. I held his shoulder.

"Don't start anything Jazz, Rose can handle herself," I whispered and he loosened his grip on the door, but didn't remove it.

Rose flipped Emmett the finger and called out to him without turning to look at him. Then his friends began laughing at him. It looked like even Alice smiled for a moment. Jasper relaxed for a moment.

Rosalie approached the car and slid in the front seat. I let go of Jasper's shoulder and relaxed in the back seat. She placed her hand on his arm.

"It's alright Jasper. Let's go," she said and he started the car. We drove off, Jasper still holding the steering wheel tightly.

"What he say to you?" Jasper asked as we drove off.

"It doesn't matter," Rosalie said fixing her hair and adjusting herself in her seat.

"I want to know," Jasper said again his voice tense.

"It was none of your business and I'm not going to tell you," she said and stared out the window.

"Fine," he huffed accepting it.

"Fine," she lashed out.

I stood quietly in the back watching the green pass by in a blur.

"So Bella how was your day?" Rosalie asked trying to break the silence.

"It's was alright," I said and she began to chatter about the upcoming dances and events. She talked about her day and the teacher she hated, about her friends and about a boy she liked. That went on until Jasper pulled up to my house. I thanked him and ran inside.

When I opened the door, the house was surprising quiet.

"Hello?" I called and dropped my bag on the couch as I passed through the living room.

"In here, Sweetie," my mother called from the kitchen. I walked into to find her sitting on the kitchen table. Her hair was in a bit of a mess around her shoulders. She was usually very neat and always looked presentable. She stared at the bills in front of her while biting her lip. A habit I had picked up from her.

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed as she looked up at me with a tired smile.

I offered one in return and took a seat next to her.

"What's wrong, Mom?"

"It's your grandfather's medical bills. I don't know how we can afford this," she sighed and put the papers down. I rubbed her arm soothingly because I didn't know what else to do. I felt horrible that my parents had to worry like this. I didn't even want to look at the paper.

"We'll get through it. I could always find a job and I could—"

"No, honey. I wouldn't want you having to work for us. If you get a job, you keep the money you earn," she said and lightly patted my cheek. She smiled and started to put away the bills. I felt like arguing with her, but I didn't have the strength.

"So how was school?" she asked and rose up from her chair and started to fumble around the kitchen.

"It was fine. Just a lot of work to do," I said and sighed. She laughed and I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Renee placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed giving me reassurance.

"Hello Isabella," Granddad greeted as he walked slowly into the kitchen. He sat in the seat my mother had occupied just moments before. My mother went to fetch his pills. He stared at me with dark black eyes.

They were so dark you couldn't see the pupil only the flickering glint from the lights. His eyes were cold. They always had been, but that didn't make him a cold man because he wasn't. My grandfather could be gentle and caring, but he was also stiff and distant.

He was a confusing man to say the least. He could find the faults in everything, yet, he always seemed to be able to cheer you up.

My grandfather was an aging man. His skin hung low and his dark black hair was slowly fading into a simple gray. It changed slowly. He walked with a bit of a limp. His voice was deep and course and always reminded me of tree bark. I was so lost in thought I didn't hear my mother return with his pills.

"So Isabella how was school?" he asked as he separated his medication.

"It was fine," I said with a smile but he saw over my lie. He always did.

"Any classes with the Cullen children," he said and narrowed his eyes a bit.

"A few, but it's a small school. They don't associate with me and we ignore each other for the most part," I said and got up from the table. He watched me and it felt like he could see into my mind…

"I have homework," I mumbled and my mother smiled.

"Of course sweetie. Go," she told me and I nodded and walked away and toward the living room. I picked up my bag and ran up to my room.

— —

I found the school work to be surprisingly easy when I got down to it. I had done most of the work in Phoenix, so I was just a bit of reviewing. I finished early and I still had 2 hours before dinner. My grandfather made us have family dinners. I decided to enjoy the rare weather and drove to the park.

I enjoyed walking through the park. It was so green and moist. Both I was unfamiliar with. I was use to the kind of heat that would melt the bottom of your shoe is you stood on pavement to long.

I sat in the bench I had found Jasper and Rose at and opened the book I had brought. I could have stayed home for reading, but I enjoyed the distant sounds of children laughing and the soft tweets of birds. The solid footsteps of joggers and pedestrians. I only had a few more weeks tops to get enjoy it before the bitter cold replaced it.

"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek," a soft whisper said beside me and I jumped. I looked to see him sitting with a smug smile. I glared at him and closed the book. My cheeks flushed and I started to get up. He grabbed my wrist to stop me.

His touch sent a shock through my arm. We both pulled away in shock. I stared down at him and he took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, but please don't go," he said and offered a gentler smile. It was slightly crooked. I remembered that smile.

"I told you—"

"Why won't you talk to me? You did when you thought I was Anthony," he said and I gasped.

"Because you lied to me. Because I don't trust you. Because my family hates yours. Because—"

"Okay! Okay. I get it. But I didn't lie to you, my name is Anthony. Edward Anthony," he said with that smug smile once again. My cheeks flamed.

"I don't care," I said befuddled. He laughed and the sound caused jitters in my stomach.

"And of course you don't trust me. I'm a stranger, but I don't have to be," he said and his eyes glittered. I continued to stare at him astonished. Who did he think he was?

"Yes, you do! You have to be one, because I want nothing to do with you," I said a bit too loudly causing a few of the other visitors to notice us. A few kids left, obviously thinking they're would be a some sort of argument. I guess when so many happened between the two families it lost its luster.

"So tell me something Bella. If my name didn't come with Cullen attached to me, what would your thoughts me of me?" he asked and just stared at him. So many thoughts ran through my head. I'd probably think he was cute. Who was I kidding? He was gorgeous.

I would have thought of him as intelligent and funny.

He continued to stare at me with raised eyebrows waiting for an answer.

"You quoted Shakespeare? Are you a fan?" I asked still on my feet and still ready to bolt. He leaned back against the bench and shook his head.

"No, not really. I find the characters a bit foolish sometimes. I do admire some of the stories. Such as Romeo and Juliet," he said and I nodded. I had to disagree with him, but that would take me out of my comfort zone. I turned to walk away but he spoke again and because I couldn't help it I froze.

"You were comfortable talking to me when you didn't know me. Couldn't you pretend I was another person?"

I turned around and for some reason I sat.

"What are your intentions? Why do even want to talk to me?" I asked feeling paranoid. I kept feeling as though someone might come out of nowhere and start throwing eggs at me. I kept feeling he was setting me up and though something told me he wasn't, I was raised to believe he was no good.

"Your interesting, Bella. I like talking to you. I agree with you, I don't like the fighting. There are scars that are so deep they have affected me, but I dislike a person for personal reasons. Not because my family says so," he explained looking at me with sincerity.

It was quiet between us. I still didn't feel comfortable here. I wanted to talk to him. If he were any other boy, I probably would have stayed. We probably would have had a deep conversation about books and movies and music and when I left I would probably have had a crush on the interesting boy.

But he wasn't any other boy. He was Edward Cullen.

I shook my head slowly and looked up at him. I was sure he could see everything in my eyes. His stare was intense, like he could see straight through my heart. As though he could read my deepest wishes, my deepest secrets. His stare made me never want to look away. I managed to pull out something from my pocket.

"I can't, Edward," I whispered and stood up.

I walked away from him, but not entirely because in my place was a little piece of paper with my cell number and email address. It was up to him to find it.

0~o~0~o~0

It was after dinner that night when my phone buzzed with a new text message. The number was unfamiliar to me so I figured it was him. I saved the number quickly under the name Anthony.

**Anthony**: So does this mean you accept my invitation?

I stared at the text a long time before answering.

_I do, but only because I think you might be different. Let's hope you don't disappoint me_, I reread the text over and over and contemplated whether or not to send it before finally sending the message.

I waited wondering if he would reply. It took only a minute.

**Anthony**: I don't plan on disappointing you…tho I wonder what ur intentions are??

I smiled at his message and so it began.

We spent the next month with secret text messages and late night IM sessions. I learned he varied in different types of music. Some types he liked better than other.

His favorite color, like most boys turned out to be blue. When I asked for the reason behind this he refused to answer me.

At school we ignored each other. We acted as though the other didn't exist. He didn't look at me, or talk to me. He didn't bother with me and to the outside world it may have seemed like we hated each other.

But inside our little bubble I continued to learn more and more about him. I found out about his family. His mother was always off trying to improve the world and most of his childhood was spent with a nanny.

His sister was always happy and saw his point of view almost all the time. She didn't like the fight that was going on between the two families but didn't believe anything or anyone could change it. She didn't believe in socializing with the enemy.

I told him that was how Rosalie saw it.

Emmett was the fighter. He hated the Swans with every bone in his body, but truth was he was soft at heart.

I realized our families were more alike than they would want to admit.

He knew I loved classic novels. We argued whether or not someone could enjoy it more than once.

He made me laugh a lot and I could only imagine how it would feel like to freely converse with him in person. I imagined I would learn a lot more and be able to tell all the facial features as he spoke. I was starting to know when he lied about something in a message or when he was holding something back.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this was wrong. That he probably had all his siblings and family members laughing at my meaningful messages. He was probably trying to find something that would run the Swan family out of Forks.

But a bigger part of me told that little whisper to hush. I trusted Edward Cullen.

It was strange but somehow I knew he took everything I told him seriously. I knew I was now his biggest secret as he was mine.

We were careful of course.

He didn't defend me or talk about me anymore.

In school I was quickly blending into the background. I was becoming just another student. They realized the new Swan girl held nothing interesting and was just as boring as every new student.

Another month flew by before my eyes.

In that month Edward and I had been brave. The first weekend of October he called me at exactly midnight.

I was surprised but we talked.

We talked about everything and nothing and it was wonderful to listen to his laugh and hear his voice as he described new things. We stood until four in the morning talking. After that first conversation I stood awake for another hour holding my cell and staring blankly at the ceiling replaying every word spoken.

That soon became routine. Every Friday and Saturday he would call me at 12 o'clock exactly and we would talk until the morning sun started to rise.

During the week we kept it down to texts and IM's.

I didn't know what was happening to me, but when I would pass him in the hall and our arms touched an electric current ran through my arm and made my stomach flip. I loved getting up to go to school. It was only in the morning when I could see him without causing suspicion and it would only last about 5 seconds but it was thrilling for me.

I would pass his car and his green eyes would catch mine. My blush would heat my face and he would laugh and then I was off, to my locker and my first class.

Then one night changed everything for me.

The night of the Halloween dance.

**_- - -_**

_**Okay so I would love your thoughts!! Please!  
Forgive my dear readers for the late update, but I'm juggling 3 stories all in which I'm super interested in. Anyway it helps to know the thoughts of my readers and makes me want to update faster!**_

_**PS: I have a link on my profile that will take you to my Fanfiction Myspace profile…in my blog I have posted Sneak peeks and stories that I had taken down. I will post extras and short stories I hope to expand in the near future…so make sure you check it out. **_

_**Anywhoo…**_

_**REVIEW! **_

_**Twilightholic-Tanya**_


	4. Fantasy

We're one mistake from being together, but let's not ask why it's not right.  
-**Metro Station**

"I refuse to go," I said indignantly as Rose raided through my closet ranting out profanities in a very unladylike manner!

"I told you 3 weeks ago, we were going! So guess what? We're going!" she said and continued to mutter under her breath. I scoffed.

"You said no such thing," I told her placing a hand on my hip.

She spun out of my closet and narrowed her eyes at me.

"I did so! Don't you dare call me a liar Isabella!" then her eyes went wide and she smiled.

"Do you still have that dress that you wore in that play a couple years back?" she asked and I thought on what she was talking about. Then I remembered I had starred as one of the angels in a school play back in Arizona. I didn't even have a speaking line, but I did somehow manage to keep the dress.

"Yes, it's in—No! I'm not, I won't!" I argued but she had buried herself in my closet and pulled out the dress. It was long and white with billowy sleeves. The sleeves had a shredded look to them and the waist held a dark blue ribbon as a belt. The end of the sleeves had glittering blue gems that sparkled in the right light.

The dress had been too big a couple years back, but I suspected it would fit just right now.

"Look! If you would have listened to me and shopped for a costume we wouldn't be here, but you didn't! So you're gonna have to make do with what I give you! And I don't have enough time to make a costume from scratch! Do you still have the halo?" she asked. I sighed as I stared at the dress.

"Top shelf," I told her and she fetched the halo.

The halo was worn like a crown right on top of the head. It was gold with tints of white and held tons of glitter in it. It was the classic fuzzy type. It held glossy strands of blue to match with the dress as well.

"Go change," she said and ushered me out of the bedroom and to the bathroom. I took a shower and looked at the dress. I sighed again and placed it on me. As I suspected it fit just right. The sleeves reached my wrist and didn't overlap like they had before.

Rosalie then took me into the bedroom. She messed with my hair and put it in curlers and painted my lips a soft pink and put little blush. She told me an angel didn't need much make up and I was thankful. She left my hair in curlers and left to get ready.

I had no idea what she was being for the dance.

I wanted to text, Edward and see if he would be going to the dance too, but I couldn't afford it with Rosalie so near.

Turned out Rose was going as a Southern belle. She managed to put her hair in a delicate braid up do. She wore a frilly off the shoulder red dress. She looked gorgeous and even managed to snag an old time black umbrella. I laughed when I saw her, because she looked like she belonged in that time.

"How do I look?" she said blinking her dark eyes flirtatiously. She had also gone with some earthy make up theme.

"Beautiful as always," I said and she giggled.

Then she got started on me once again. She let the curlers out of my hair and down came long glossy curls that cascaded down my back and shoulders in a waterfall way. The curls framed my face and she produced glitter and gently sprinkled some on my hair. She had brought some type of makeup kit because she didn't know what she would make me. She placed the halo on my head softly and made me turn toward the mirror.

I gasped at what I saw. The dress was off the shoulder and enhanced my curves. It actually made it look like I had some. The deep blue ribbon belt hung off my hips. The dress floated just above the ground and the shoes she had given me made me look taller and graceful. They were strappy white heels that held some sort of baby blue gems that sparkled in the light. She placed her head on my shoulder and stared at me.

"Hmm…you're missing something…." she mused. She turned me over to look at her and she looked me up and down.

"Jewelry," she said with a smile and snapped her fingers. She walked over to my dresser and opened my nearly empty jewelry box. It was nearly empty because it held some broken bracelets and one little black velvet jewelry box. I bit my lip and she took it out and opened it.

I knew what was inside.

It was a simple round sapphire. The sapphire was cradled by a delicate string of white gold framing it like a picture. The chain was also white go and had a simple loop design. She gasped as she stared at the jewel.

"This is beautiful Bella! Where'd you get it?" she asked as she gently took it out and walked over to me. She placed it on my neck and latched it. It looked gorgeous against my pale skin and fell just below my collarbone. I gasped as I stared at it. It had been the first time I wore it.

"A friend from Phoenix gave it to me. As a birthday present," I whispered hoarsely.

It was a half lie. A friend had sent it to me. Edward had.

I was surprised when I received it. The return address had been from an address in Phoenix. It was from an Anthony Masen. I knew who had really given it to me and I couldn't believe he would do something like that.

I thanked him and scolded him at the same time, but he seemed to shrug it off.

I never really did have an occasion to wear it. It was simple enough to wear every day, yet had a charm to it that required it for special reasons. My hand gently caressed the smooth gem.

"Wow, Bella has an admirer in Arizona…who would have known," Rosalie teased and a blush heated my skin.

"Aw! A blushing angel," Rose said again with a tinkling laugh.

"Are we gonna go or what?" I said feeling foolish. I had given up dressing up for Halloween when I was 14. She laughed and took out a box from her overly large bag.

"One more thing… See the dance has a theme and it's…well…" she said and opened the mask to reveal two masks. One a snow white with dark blue edges and another fiery red.

"NO! That is pushing my limit! You're kidding me! How did you even know about getting me a matching mask?" I asked a bit confused and out raged.

"I didn't. Not really anyway. I knew you had that angel suit and I thought if it still fit this would go perfect, but then I figured if it didn't I'd find something that would match, it's white, so white goes with anything," she said with a light shrug of her shoulders. I stared at her. She knew what I was going to be all along. Oh she was good.

She placed our masks and we were off.

Rose's date had picked us up. He was dressed like her in southern gentleman attire. His blonde hair was greased back and his eyes were cold and distant. I didn't like him, but Rose did, so I didn't say anything. I realized then that I didn't know what to do with myself at a dance.

I had only been to one dance and I ended up leaning against the gym wall the entire time while my friends did all the classic party dances.

The gym had been decorated with streamers and balloons of different colors. The committee had put a lot of work into this. I sighed and felt silly. The gym was scattered with thousands of people all in different costumes.

There were cats, birds, princesses, devils, pirates, monsters, and brides dancing everywhere. Each person had a mask of some sort. At least Rosie wasn't lying when she told me it was a masquerade ball. We found a seat and her date went to get drinks. The tables were small and round and could probably fit four. The white table cloths were decorated with splats of red and the center piece was a paper Jack O' Lantern, glowing brightly.

"Bella, I wish you would lighten up, there are tons of boys here who would give a right arm to dance with you," she said and lightly pushed my arm with her black gloved hand. A faster song came on and she smiled.

"Oh, I love this song. You'll be alright, right?" she asked and I nodded. She went to find Royce and I was left alone. I was asked 3 times to dance by boys I didn't know and I politely refused. I wasn't going to put strangers in harm. Jasper came along dressed as a civil war soldier and I couldn't stop laughing. He asked for a slow dance and I gave him one and then he left to find his date…well not a date really. They sort of paired up when he arrived.

I went back to the table and waited for Rosalie. I couldn't help but observe the gym. I noticed again that their seemed to be a separation. I sighed and I could feel tonight was not going to go smoothly. I caught glares from across the room. I rolled my eyes.

By the 3rd song that came on, I knew Rosalie wasn't going to show up anytime soon. I sighed and rose from my chair. If I was going to have to suffer the glares by myself, I didn't want to be here. I made my way through the swirling bodies and managed to get outside. I was surprised at the décor. Everything had been decorated with white twinkling lights. The outside had only 2 other couples dancing underneath a glittering gazebo. I walked past them until I came to an empty bench and sat.

It was much cooler out here, but it felt nice compared to the gym. I could still hear the music faintly from out here. Right now a faster up tempo song was playing. I was too busy paying attention to the familiar song rather than listen for footsteps.

"I guess I was right on the jewel," a voice murmured and I snapped my head to see him walking toward me with a slight smile. I blushed and my hand went to my necklace without thought. He was also in costume. He wore an Edwardian style suit and his hair was comb back. I laughed when I saw him and he raised an eyebrow.

"In my defense, I was forced," he said and I stifled a giggle.

"No, you look very charming," I said and the words came out seriously, because in all honesty he did look handsome. He looked as though he belonged in Victorian time. The dark mask around his eyes made them all that more noticeable.

"Well, Thank you," he said flashing a wide smile and I caught a look at his teeth. My hand came to my mouth as another giggle took over.

"You're a vampire?" I asked trying to keep the smile out of my face. He laughed and took a seat next to me.

"Yes, I am. Only Alice wanted more of the whole…Anne Rice vampire, not Bram Stroker," he explained. I stared down at my hands which had started to shake, although I wasn't sure it was from cold or nerves.

"You let your sister dress you, for tonight?" I ask looking at him. He chuckled.

"I let her do whatever she pleases. She wanted me to come, and I'd rather have her worry about my clothing," he said and I nodded. It was quiet between us and I was seriously considering going inside before someone noticed us. We were taking a risk talking so freely like this.

But before I could put my plan into action a slow melody reached us and Edward stood up. I looked up at him wondering if he had come to the same realization as I had. We were friends no doubt, but not in the outside world. In the outside world we hated each other. Though I knew this and I accepted it, it still pained me when he left my side.

But to my surprise he didn't walk away. He handed me his white gloved hand and offered a smile.

"Will you dance with me?" he asked and I could feel the blood boil beneath my cheeks. I placed my hand in his and stood up. Normally I would have refused, but I couldn't say no to him. I don't know how anyone had the strength to do so.

His eyes traveled up and down my body and I felt embarrassed.

"You look stunning, Bella," he said and I smiled. He had said it with sincerity and I never had any one describe me in such words. He placed his hands on my hip and we began to twirl. The moment felt too surreal. It was quite between us and we swayed slightly. He twirled me and it felt natural to be dancing with him.

His eyes locked on mine and everything felt so intense and serious. I couldn't let myself get lost in his eyes. I couldn't allow myself to get lost in this moment.

"You do know, that we're supposed to hate each other," I said trying to break the bubble we were in and he laughed. I loved his laugh and it never ceased to send butterflies down my stomach. He had an unearthly affect on me. It was terrifying and thrilling all at the same time.

"Yes, but tonight we're not Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen. We're just two teenagers enjoying each other's company," he said and flashed his toothy smile again making his fangs show. My hands played with the coppery curls at the nape of his neck.

"Isn't this ironic. An angel and a vampire," I said with a laugh.

"Yes. The complete opposites of each other. One a damned being force to walk the world for eternity and the other a precious creature from of God," he said and shook his head.

"I don't think vampires have to be evil. What's so different from a vampire and an angel?" I asked.

"Well for one thing, the angel lives in a place in which is forbidden to a creature of night," he said with a light shrug of his shoulders.

"Why would you think that? Who's to say after Buffy plunges a stake into a vamps heart, he or she won't find their way to heaven?" I ask seriously. He stared at me for a moment before bursting into a loud comfortable laugh. It was genuine and made his chest vibrate. I smiled because just hearing his laugh brought me joy.

"You never cease to surprise me, Bella," he said with a gentle laugh.

"I have that affect on people I guess," I said with a slight shrug. He stared at me for a really long time.

"You really believe there no difference don't you?" he asked and slowly pushed a lock of hair away from my face and behind my ear in a slow tentative touch leaving a trail of fire on my cheek. I met his eyes to see if I was the only one who felt that.

I wasn't.

His breathing grew heavy and suddenly the cold October winds didn't matter anymore. I couldn't comprehend that I was cold. His green eyes sparkled with something I couldn't name. I let my hands slide down from his neck to his shoulders and fall at my side.

His hands came up and removed my mask. I was confused but I didn't dare speak to ask what he was doing. He then caressed my cold cheek with his warm palm. My heart hammered loudly behind my chest and in my ears. My throat clogged at the intimate moment.

This wasn't us. We weren't supposed to be here. He wasn't supposed to look at me with dark hooded eyes and my cheek wasn't supposed to be tingling because of his touch. This was wrong in so many ways. His thumb rubbed over my lips softly and they parted.

"Edward…we can't…it's not…" but I lost my trial of thought as his face moved closer to me. I could feel his warm breath fan over me. I was sure my heart would beat of my chest. It was pounding so hard it hurt. Thoughts flew around my head and made a thick buzzing sound. I wanted to pull away but I was frozen.

He came closer and closer and I felt I had to try and stop it.

"It's…we're not supposed to…uh…" I could barely speak as his lips came so near to mine, and then it happened.

His lips were on mine and every thought in my head shut up. A warm prickling fire started in my belly and I felt my hands travel to the nape of his neck. His lips moved softly encouraging mine and soon I gave in. Our lips molded together and his were soft and warm against mine. It felt like nothing I ever encountered before.

His mouth was sweet and gentle and our lips moved perfectly together. Everything came naturally to me. Every thought in my head seemed to hush itself and I let my body take over. I pushed myself closer to him and even though my head was getting dizzy from lack of air, I didn't want to break apart.

His hands were placed loosely on my hip pulling me closer to him. He pulled away a centimeter and breathed deeply. My breaths were harsh and fast, as though I had run a marathon. I licked my bruised lips and could still taste him. His eyes followed my movements. His lips were still so near mine.

"Bella," he breathed quietly and I could feel the movements of his lips against mine as he said my name. This time I pushed forward and captured his lips. This kiss was not as sweet and gently as the first. It was desperate and needy, because I knew in the back of my mind that I could not let this happened again.

He pushed me backward and I kept walking having no idea where I was going, but I soon felt my back hit against the school brick wall. His hands moved up my hips and to my side while his mouth urged mine to open.

Before I could give into that urge a loud clashing broke our bubble before an ear piercing scream rang through the air. After the first scream came tons of screams from girls and shouts from guys and we could hear people running.

He pulled away with panic in his green eyes and I'm sure my eyes reflected the same emotion because we both knew already what had happened. He pushed himself away from the wall and started to run toward the commotion. I followed soon after trying to stay steady in my heels.

When arrived in the gym doors the sight knocked the air out of me.

There was a boy who had been knocked into a table. The table didn't survive the force and had crashed to the ground. There were a few more fights going around but my eyes zeroed in on Emmett and Jasper who we're being separated by their friends. Teachers we're running around trying to stop the fights and ushering everyone out.

I stared in horror. I caught Rosalie leaning against a wall. Her hand covered her mouth and I could see tears streaming down her face at the commotion.

I looked up at Edward. He looked at me once. We shared a quick moment and then I ran off for Rosie.

Our perfect moment was shattered and we were brought back to the real world and in the real world he and I weren't mean to be. The perfect kiss was floating away and being locked in a chest full of memories.

We were no longer _just_ two teenagers.

We were once again Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.

And we hated each other.

Or we were supposed to…anyway.

- - -

_**Okay well I didn't take forever on this update! I'm so proud! I deserve a hug!  
Okay well I would love your thoughts and I'll make a deal with you…if you review I will promise a faster update cuz this story is on a roll!**_

_**And of course Edward has his side as well and I'm planning on giving him a chance to speak…soon…**_

_**So any thoughts? **_

_**Please review people…it inspires me…**_

_**Twilightholic-Tanya ;)**_


	5. Sanctuary

"Some love lasts a lifetime. True love lasts forever."  
**-Unknown**

Rosie laid her head down on my shoulder. She sniffled softly and I played with the soft curls that had come loose from her intricate design. We rode home in the back of Charlie's police cruiser. He mumbled under his breath, but didn't speak to us as we drove to my house.

Jasper and Emmett had to stay behind to discuss the fight and punishment. Their parents had been called down and the dance had been canceled. When everyone had finally cleared the gym it looked disastrous. Streamers lay on the ground ripped and torn apart. The pumpkin center pieces were smashed and ripped on the ground. A few tables had been tipped over from people running and the fights.

There had been a total of 6 fights that had broken out. All of the participators were at the gym with the principal and teachers and their parents. We were sent home and since Royce was one of the fighters, Charlie decided to take us.

Rosalie would be staying at my house tonight. A soft music played in the background. Charlie's way of calming the situation and Rosalie. I wanted to roll my eyes.

Rose looked up at me and I offered a soft smile.

"Where's your mask?" she said hoarsely and my hand flew to my face. I could only feel soft skin and I sighed. I thought for a moment and then flashes of memories came back to me.

I remember Edward soft fingers pull it off of me. The way his fingers slowly ran down the length of my cheek. The trail he had gone down started to prickle again and I could feel the heat light up my cheeks.

"It must have fallen off," I mumbled under my breath. Rosalie sighed and looked back down. She lifted her head and slid down the seat until she was looking out the window. Green rushed passed us in a blur and I was brought back to his bright eyes.

My mind traveled back to the kiss. To the almost perfect night and I could feel my eyes prickle from tears as well. My chest actually ached and I had no idea why. Charlie drove into the driveway and looked at us.

"I have to get back to the school. Could you tell your mother what happened? I left in a hurry," he said gruffly. I nodded and opened the door to leave. Rose ran ahead of me and made it inside.

She rushed into the living room where Renee was curled up on the sofa reading a book. I closed the door and walked toward them. Rose ran to my mother and hugged her tightly. Renee patted her head and whispered softly. Renee glanced at me. I nodded and left up to my bedroom.

Rosalie had been strong for a very long time and now she needed a mother.

Rosalie and Jasper's mother had passed away when they were nine. Rosalie was strong and proved more than once she could do fine without a mother. Even when she was alive she wasn't much of a mother. She was always off to parties and events. She favored Jasper more than she had Rose and it was very obvious to anyone who looked close enough.

I ran off to my bedroom and stripped the dress off and threw the halo down on the bed. I kicked my heels off and ran to the shower. I let the steaming water relax my tense muscles and let the tears fall. The warm shower water washed them away as they fell. I washed out the glitter and gel and gunk Rosalie had put in my hair earlier. I scrubbed the makeup off my face and tried to destroy any part of tonight I had on. The strawberry fragrance of my shampoo took my senses away from the fresh cut grass smell and the chilly night air. The fresh rain that had started to drop near the end of the dance. But most importantly it took away _his_ smell. His scent of honey and sunshine and boy. A half hour later when I climbed out of the shower and dried myself off, I looked at mirror.

I didn't do this often, because I usually found more flaws than positives about myself, but I stared at myself for a long time.

My damp hair was now straight and a tangled mess on my shoulders. My lips didn't shine with the pink lip gloss Rose had put and the light pink blush on my cheeks was my own.

It was while looking in the mirror that I noticed I still had the necklace on. My fingers found their way to the smooth dark gem. I knew I should have taken it off. I should have never accepted it and I should have returned it to him. Better yet I should have thrown it away. But I couldn't because it was from him. It reminded me of him and by wearing it I felt the secret we shared grow all more powerful. A warm tingle ran down my spine when I held the necklace, because it was meant for me. He thought of me when he bought it. He thought of me.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and threw on my ratty old t shirt and a pair of sweats.

I walked into my bedroom to find Rosalie wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of really tiny shorts. Her long legs curled underneath her and her blonde hair was a mess of tangled curls over her shoulders. She looked so beautiful. I felt the slightest bit of envy take over. I always felt that way about Rosie, because she was a super model and I was just another plain Jane. I looked around the room. My dress lay in a puddle of white cloth on the floor near my closet. My halo was thrown on my rocking chair along with Rosalie's black umbrella and dress.

I shook my head and bounced on the bed next to her.

Her scent wafted through the air when she suddenly turned her head toward me.

She smelled of perfume, hair products, and fabric softener. She smiled and looked back down at the book. I realized it was her yearbook.

"You smell like strawberries," she said as she flipped the page to a bunch of teacher's pictures.

"Yea my favorite," I said causally falling back on the bed. My hair would probably soak the pillow, but I didn't mind. I was too tired to care. I fiddled with a hole on the bottom of my t shirt. She scoffed quietly and I rose from the bed and stared at the book from over her shoulder. She had found the page of sophomores from last year. Alice and Edward Cullen stood next to each other in black and white.

I stared at his picture. His face was rounder, but he still held a sense of maturity. He looked younger though. His eyes were a little less cloudy with worries. His smile was small but apparent.

Alice on the other hand had a huge smile plastered on her face. Her face seemed to glow and you could practically see her hazel eyes glitter. Rosalie closed the book suddenly and threw it toward my rocking hair. It hit the back of the chair then fell to the floor, knocking down her umbrella and ruffling her dress. The only sound heard was the slight creaking of the chair.

"It was her damn fault!" Rosalie muttered. She brought her legs in front of them and held them as she laced her chin on her knees.

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly not wanting to push Rosalie. I never did find out about the fight. Rose laughed bitterly and let her head down to touch her forehead with her knees.

"He had gone to get me something to drink. She was at the punch table. He said something to her. I didn't know what it was. I was too far away to hear. She turned toward him snapped something and turned to walk away. I think he called her a bitch. She got angry and poured her drink down his head," at this Rosalie laughed a loud tinkling laugh.

"He probably deserved it," she mused silently. It was quiet and I waited for her to continue. The rocking chair stopped creaking. I could practically imagine Royce's anger as the red punch dribbled down his face. I felt a blush of shame wash over me when I realized I was being kissed by my enemy just outside.

"Then she turned around to leave but he grabbed her arm. I started walking toward him to stop it. I knew Emmett would get involved if he saw it. I reached them and Alice yanked her hand free but ended up falling backward and she pushed into me. I lost my balance and fell backward. I guess that's when Emmett saw. He came toward us and lifted Alice and me off the ground. He had grabbed my arm to lift me off the floor. He wasn't hurting me, just trying to help. Royce yelled at him to get off his date and pushed Emmett hard," she said and then rose up. She walked toward my light switch and turned it off. I scooted over so she would have room to lie down.

She crawled into bed and we both laid staring back at the ceiling.

"So…" I said edging her on.

She sighed.

"Well Royce pushed Emmett and to keep his balance Emmett let go of me. Alice had already pulled free. But I hadn't cause my ankle had fell the wrong way when Alice fell, so when he let me go, I pulled one of your moves and ended up falling on the ground again. Then comes Jasper. He yells at Emmett for messing with me and then Emmett gets mad and says he's just trying to help. Royce gets blamed and then all hell broke loose. I don't know who punched who first. I was surprised Edward hadn't come to Alice's aid. He's very protective of her," Rose muttered the last part and turned so her back faced me.

"Their twins…they would be," I whispered.

"Whatever. Wonder where he was all night," Rose said with a heavy sigh.

I turned on my side and felt the blood boil.

"Me too."

—

_The beeping continued slowly. I stood there holding on to myself. I had to be strong. I couldn't let myself break. I watched him. His breaths came slow and hard. His pale face was covered in deep scars and he had stitches under his right eye. A bruise rested on his forehead. _

_Gently I moved a strand of copper hair away from his eyes. He looked peaceful under all the meds. I stared at him. He couldn't leave me. I was afraid to touch him. Afraid I would cause him pain, but I wanted to be near him. So I sat on the edge of the small hospital bed and picked up his hand softly. _

_I made sure not to disturbed his IV. I also made sure not to look at it. _

_I brought his fingers to my mouth and gently kissed them. His hand felt warm in mine and fit like it should. We were made for each other. _

_His eye was swollen and I wondered if I would ever see his eyes again. If I would ever see them glitter in the light or how they filled with laughter. The soft look he gave me when he stroked my cheek. _

_I loved his eyes. The pure green color against his pale skin was lovely. It was striking and unforgettable. _

"_Don't leave me," I said and gently stroked his cheeks. I could see his lips twitch softly. I thought back to how those lips felt when pressed against mine. How they were brought back in the sexy smile that made my knees week. The way they moved when he whispered my name. _

_Tears sprung from my eyes and gently slid down my cheeks. _

"_I love you, so much," I whispered and I continued to cry. I was so angry, angry at my family, angry at him, angry at myself. I was so stupid. How could I let this happen? _

_The room became blurry and I could hear the beeping increase. It grew louder and I released him afraid I had caused it. I jumped off the bed and the beeping grew even louder. _

_It didn't sound like the machines in the room. _

_What was it? He was starting to blur. The room was blurry. What was going on? The beeping increased. I held my hands over my ears trying to drown it out. I backed away until my back hit a wall. The noise was painful. I looked toward him. His chest moved faster and the serene expression that was on his face quickly morphed into one of angst and pain. _

_I tried to movie near him, to calm him, but the noise was too much for me. He started writhe in pain. His hands clenched and unclenched. I could hear his groans swirl into the loud beeps. I couldn't take it. I closed my eyes and pressed my hands more forcefully into my ears as I slid down the wall. _

_Then all at once. He was calm and the beeping stopped all together. Everything stopped. I opened my eyes to find myself in a dark empty hospital room._

_There were no machines beeping and flashing. I couldn't hear doctors and nurses running around outside. The flickering florescent lights were turned off completely, the only light in the room coming from the dim emergency lights in the halls._

_There was no Edward. _

Wet sticky tears slid down my cheeks and I was immediately awoken from my dream. The eerie hospital room seemed to fade slowly from my mind. My fingers shook and my heart pumped. Sweet relief gently washed over me as I realized it had all been a dream. I wiped the tears from my cheek and rose from the bed.

Rosalie was lying asleep on her side. Her hair a perfect mess on my pillows. The soft sunshine seeping through my windows made her hair shine a soft golden color. I sat up slowly not to wake her and looked at the time. It was only 6. I closed my eyes and hugged my knees as I thought over the dream.

I couldn't shake the all too real fear that I had lost him, that I was losing him. I could feel tears brew as the image of him came into my mind. He looked so helpless and broken in that hospital bed. I wanted nothing more to hold him and prove to myself that it had in fact been a horrible dream.

But why'd I have it?

-*-

I moved my mother's new invention around the plate. All I knew was that it was green and bubbling. It was suppose to be some type of spinach dish, but looked more like a cooked frog. My grandfather was on a strict diet and chewed on some type of salad my mother had made following doctors orders.

Charlie wasn't home tonight which was expected. He was out more lately with all the fights that seemed to have been breaking out left and right.

Rosalie had left earlier this morning leaving just Renee, Granddad, and me home.

"So what exactly did happen at that dance of yours?" Granddad asked pointing his fork at me. I sighed and pushed the plate away.

"I'm not sure, I wasn't in the school building," I admitted hoping his dark eyes wouldn't see past the lie I knew I was going to have to tell. Instead of asking why, he simply nodded and looked down at his plate. I stared at him curiously. Why didn't he ask?

My phone buzzed silently in my pocket. My heart thumped at the possibility of who it could be.

"May I be excused?" I asked and Renee looked up and toward me and then down at my plate.

"You haven't eaten," she told me her eyes widening. I fought to keep the grimace off my face. The thought of eating the spinach frog was enough to excite my gag reflex.

"I'm not…uh….very hungry," I told her and she sighed and abruptly stood from her chair. She reached for my plate and grabbed hers and threw them away.

"I know…I don't think I want to eat it either. Go ahead honey," she said and went to the freezer and took out a TV dinner. I nodded and fled from the kitchen.

I closed my door behind me and took my phone out.

**Anthony**: Meet me da end of ur block 10.

I stared at the message for a while. What was he planning? I glanced at the clock now. It was only 7.

My heart pounded. He wanted me to sneak out? I thought over this.

Granddad would go to bed at 8. My mother would be in bed by 8:30. Charlie would be home by 9, and he usually tended to come home, eat, and go straight to bed. Everything would work out perfectly _if_ I wanted to meet him, but then again who was I kidding?

Of course I wanted to meet him. The dream from this morning still lingered in my mind. It wasn't the same to just talk to him. I had to see him. I couldn't wait until Monday either. I realized my mind was set the minute I had read the text, but I knew this wasn't right.

I tried thinking of all the reasons I shouldn't go with him, but I couldn't. None of them seemed important enough. It was insane. What if someone saw? The gossip and rumors that would spread. What if Charlie found out? He'd go crazy. Granddad would have a heart attack.

I slid to the floor and cradled my pounding head.

What did I do?

I should tell him no. I should stop all of this.

And what about the kiss? What did we do about that? Trying to ignore the way I felt when he kissed me, would just be avoiding the rather large elephant between us. My heart thudded. Did he regret the kiss? Did he wish it didn't happen? Had he felt the same way I did? Did he think of me as some sort of slut for kissing him back?

These questions continued to buzz through my head.

It would be so much easier if I didn't care for a Cullen. If I hadn't gotten mixed up in this crazy situation, everything would be so easy.

But then again…if I wanted answers to my questions, there was only one way to get them

-*-

I was officially crazy. I knew that. I was also a traitor. But I couldn't seem to care.

I opened the door and slid inside. When I strapped my seat belt a faint scent of perfume wafted toward me. I figured this was Alice's seat. The car smelled of pine and leather. It was warm and cozy compared to the chilly night air. I pulled my jacket closer together and looked at him.

He smiled and started to drive away.

"So…I want to say, that if I don't end of coming back tomorrow, I left my phone in my room with your text showing," I said lightly although it was lie. My phone was actually in my back pocket. I didn't know why, but I completely trusted Edward not to hurt me. He chuckled deeply and shook his head.

"Well then, to protect my own hide, I guess I should bring you back," he said faking disappointment. I laughed loudly and let my head rest on the back of the seat.

"So where exactly am I going?" I asked and he smiled again.

"You'll see. I won't be able to show it too you once the weather starts to act up. It's cold now, but not as cold as it could be," he said and I stared out the window. I couldn't really see where we were going. It was dark and everything passed in a blur. Few specks of rain started to decorate the window.

"Are you nervous?" he asked and I turned toward him. His profile was even beautiful. It was dark and defined and you could only see a shadow of his face. It looked artistic as though someone should take a photo or paint a picture.

"Not unless I have reason to be?" I said a bit timidly feeling my body tense and fear trickle slowly down my spine.

"You don't. I swear I won't hurt you," he said and looked at me. I could see in his eyes that he meant it. I smiled.

"I believe you," I told him and before I could think it over I placed my hand on his bicep. I only meant it to strengthen my words, but the touch seemed too intimate. I did it with Jasper all the time, even childhood friends I had in Phoenix, but it was different with Edward. I quickly removed my hand. I returned to staring out the window.

It was silent between us, but it was comfortable. It did not need to be filled with meaningless chatter although all my conversations with Edward were never exactly meaningless.

We could talk about grass and the conversation would have all of my attention. We argued a lot. Both being too stubborn to back down, but it was friendly arguments. The fun ones that made you laugh at the silly statements you threw at each other. I smiled remembering a particular argument.

"You're a very difficult person, Bella," Edward blurted. I snapped my head toward him.

"Why? I haven't said a word," I said indignantly and confused.

"That's exactly why. It's hard to pick up on you. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to watch you?" he asked. I stared at him with wide eyes. I'm sure my face showed pure confusion.

"You stay silent. You're eyes flash all these emotions and then you'll smile or grimace and I can't help the thousand of possibilities that fly through my head, as I wonder what could possibly bring that expression on your face," he said with a smirk and a blush heated my skin.

"See that's the worse one," he said and with one hand gently stroked my cheek. I could feel myself instinctively lean into his touch. I couldn't help it.

"Why?" I breathed and he withdrew his hand and placed it back on the steering wheel.

He parked the car suddenly and I looked around to figure out my surroundings. We seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. Trees surrounded us.

"W-where are we?" I asked stuttering a bit, because as much as I trusted Edward, I had seen enough horror movies to know being alone in the middle of a forest never ended up with a good ending.

He opened the door and quickly came around to my door. He opened it and offered me his hand. I looked into his face. I took his hand and he lifted me up and out of the car. He smiled and opened the back door. He took out a black book bag.

"If you want, we'll go back," he said with a raised eyebrow. I shook my head and he grasped my hand. We started to walk into the forest. My heart sped, but when he squeezed my hand I was calmed. I was reminded that he wouldn't hurt me.

I'm not sure how long we hiked. I don't think it could have been more than a half hour, but I wasn't sure, but then suddenly he stopped.

The night was cold, but the hike had kept my mind off of it. Now just standing here, I could feel the cold creep through my jacket. The only warm part of my body was the hand Edward had yet to let go of.

"Okay, ready," he asked and I could barely see him in the dark. I rolled my eyes though I knew I couldn't see unless he flashed the flash light he held in my face.

"Yea," I said with little enthusiasm. He laughed and it was quiet for a while. I heard him take a deep breath. He grabbed my hand and squeezed lightly.

"Bella, when we enter here…I want you to leave everything, problems and families and identities, outside, in these woods. In here, it's only us. Okay?" he said softly and he released my hand so he could cup my cheek with his.

"Promise me," he whispered and touched his forehead to mine.

My heart started to thud hard and I could barely hear him. My throat grew thick and I felt myself nod.

"I promise," I breathed. He pulled away and grabbed my hand once more.

Then he led me through the trees to a place where it was peaceful and simple.

No outside world. No problems. No family.

Just him.

Just me.

Just us.

- - -

**_Okay guys…I'm super sorry this Chapter took me super long to post. It was just that I had some issues with my friends and I didn't really feel like updating, but everything is settled now and I finally finished. _**

**_This chapter was split up…so the next chapter will definitely come soon since it's half written. The only problem is…the other half might take a while because sadly school starts on Monday for me. _**

**_Anyway what would make me super happy is if I get tons of reviews…and if I get enough I might just post the next chapter on Sunday, but I need to have encouragement from my readers. _**

**_Review!!!_**

**_Twilightholic-Tanya ;P_**


	6. Suspicion

"Don't trouble your pretty little head. There's only room for love"  
-**Anarbor **

He led me to a meadow. The soft grass flowed in the wind and held a greenish blue glow due to the dim moonlight. Autumn leaves danced around the edges as a slight breeze began to blow. Wild flowers grew everywhere and it looked like a place only found in fairy tales.

"Oh my gosh," I whispered as I stared completely dazzled by the beauty of it.

"Do you like it?" he whispered and I could see his pale face in the moonlight that escaped the clouds.

"It's beautiful."

I couldn't think of anything else to tell him. I had no idea a place like this existed. I walked into the middle slowly as though afraid it would disappear and I would wake up to find it was only a dream. I could feel the grass bend and caress my footsteps. Everything was so beautiful.

"So what is this place?" I asked as I started to take a seat right in the middle of the meadow. I could feel the dew soak my jeans and a shiver ran down my spine. He laughed and walked toward me. He opened the book bag he had brought and took out a very think picnic blanket.

"Get up," he said and I crawled to my feet. He flicked the blanket and laid it on the grass. I sat down. The blanket was so thick I couldn't even feel the grass blades. It was warmer than sitting on the wet grass, but the night was still cold. I could feel the winds through my jacket. Edward sat next to me and pulled out a fleece blanket from his book bag and handed it to with a smug smile.

"Well didn't you come prepared," I teased and draped the blanket around my shoulder. His scent floated through the air and I snuggled closer into the blanket. I wasn't sure I'd be able to give this back to him. A blush heated my cheeks at the thought. He laughed loudly and my eyes snapped up to his face.

"What?" I asked with a chuckle, because he had one of those laughs. The ones that made you want to laugh along with or would bring a smile toward your face if you were feeling down.

"You're blush. I think I figured out why you do it," he said and smiled that devil's grin.

"Why?" I challenged.

"Because," he said and then pushed my hair away from my shoulder as he leaned into my ear.

"You're not as innocent as you look," he whispered straight into my ear. His warm breath sent tingles down my neck. His words made my eyes widen and the blush to turn into a very deep red. He pulled away and laughed when he saw me. I looked away and toward the grass. I began to lace my fingers through it letting the fresh water cling to my fingers.

He grabbed my chin with his fingers and turned my face to stare at him. I clung to the grass a bit more tightly as I met his eyes.

"Don't do that," he said and used his hand to cup my cheek. Again I found myself leaning into his touch, but for once I didn't feel guilty about it. I didn't care that my heart was pounding louder than it had a right to. I didn't care that my lips were starting to tingle. I didn't care that all my thoughts could seem to realize was how beautiful he looked. I just didn't care and the feeling was liberating.

"Do what? Look away?" I asked bewildered by his demand.

"Yeah, I don't like it," he said and stared at me for what felt like forever. His green eyes glittered and I couldn't focus on anything else. I wanted to look away, but I found I didn't have the power to do so. It was almost as though I was in a trance.

The electricity seemed to crackle quietly all around us. Slowly he leaned in.

I could feel fear again, because I wasn't sure I wanted to stretch this out beyond friendship. If I let myself, I knew I could easily fall in love with Edward, but the meadow didn't take away the fact that it would be wrong if I did. But I wanted to kiss Edward.

His lips came closer and I pulled back on instinct. He stopped and pulled away slowly. I smiled and tugged on the grass in between my fingers. The soft blades came lose in my hand and I flicked them at Edward. The blades caught in his hair and slid down his face.

He shook his head making the rest fall down slowly.

"What was that for?" he asked and ran a hand through his hair, trying to get all the grass out.

"Because I'm not that innocent," I said with a laugh. He smiled evilly and I yelped as I scrambled to my feet. I grabbed the blanket from my shoulder and threw it at him. He caught it and pushed it aside.

"Oh you're gonna get it now," he laughed.

I knew I couldn't out run him or even run in this meadow, but I did anyway. It didn't take long for him to get to his feet. I tried to run faster, but stumbled and then he was behind me. The boy was fast.

I screamed once more when I felt his arms encircle my waist.

He spun me around and my legs lifted off the ground. I laughed loudly and we tumbled to the ground together.

He laid me flat against the ground. He used his arm to keep his body weight off of me.

"Hi," I whispered and he smiled once again. It was the soft smile that brought out the creases in his eyes and was slightly crooked. I loved that smile.

"Hey," he answered back. He pushed back a lock of hair. I found myself staring at his lips. On instinct I found myself moving slowly toward them, but then small flecks of dirt and grass hit my face. I startled slightly not expecting him to actually get back.

He laughed loudly at my expression. I quickly tugged out some grass and made sure to run my fingers through his hair. I rolled out from under him and continued to run away from him.

I don't know how long we did this.

We ran toward the trees and through leaves at one another. He tried grabbing at me and I manage to slip him. We acted like kids, but no one was telling us to stop. No one was telling us to behave. No one was there but me and him.

I couldn't remember a time I laughed louder or had as much fun as I was right now.

I didn't have much of a childhood. Making friends had always been extremely difficult for me. I was shy and the only family my age was living in Washington. I had friends, but I never saw the outside of school and I usually stayed inside with my mother.

But I felt like a kid once more.

When I was too exhausted to run anymore I laid down in a heap on the blanket he had originally set up.

He followed and sat down next to me.

The sky was cloudy and you could barely make out any stars. I missed that.

"In Phoenix the sky was always clear. You could see an endless amount of stars. It was beautiful," I whispered and he stared back up the sky.

"Do you miss it?" he asked.

"In some ways. It was the only home I had ever really known, but I love being by my family. I love Rosie and Jazz. It would. They make this bearable…and…" I trialed off not sure it was appropriate to tell him. How do you tell someone you had barely known for a month, who was suppose to be your family's enemy, that they made your life a lot better?

"And what?" he asked simply. The words were carefree. He suspected nothing.

"And…you make it better too," I whispered and his head snapped down to meet my eyes. He smiled and leaned over me once again.

He placed his fingers underneath my chin and softly kissed my lips.

Just like the night at the dance I could feel my face flush. My fingers tingled and my chest was heavy.

I ran my fingers through his hair. Tugging softly and feeling him moan into my mouth. The sound surprised me. This was new to me. I had never felt this way.

The kiss was more than just a simple kiss. It was a kiss that was sealing our fate. It was full of pleading and apology, of risk and need, or want and secrecy. It was the type of kiss you read about in stories. The kind that flipped your whole world upside down.

Edward dug his fingers in my hair and everything seemed to blur. I found myself trying to get closer. Trying to put out the crazy fire he had started inside me.

Nothing was real anymore.

I was no longer myself, because I would never have snuck outside the house against my parents' permission. I would never have run off with a boy. I would never have befriended the enemy. I wouldn't be here kissing the very person I was supposed to hate.

This wasn't me. I never did any of this. Not outside my dreams anyway and yet here I was.

If I was willing to do this, then I was willing to risk it all to be with Edward.

I didn't think about what would happen if we were caught. I didn't think of the pain I would cause my family, because I was being completely selfish in that moment. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't give this up. I couldn't let this feeling go away.

I felt like a thousand butterflies had broken free from their cocoon and were now fluttering inside my lower belly. I felt my face heat and my skin slowly turn pink to red. I felt my breath grow heavy and my chest heave.

We broke away for air, but we didn't pull away. He rested his forehead against mine and smiled at me; because I was pretty sure he felt the same way.

We were in this together and completely too deep. We couldn't break the surface if we tried. I ran my fingers down his jaw. The skin was soft and smooth.

"You pretty much drive me crazy, Bell," he whispered and I laughed.

I laughed because he did the same to me. I laughed because I was happy and felt giddy. I laughed because this was crazy and I was scared. I laughed because it felt good.

I was happy, because even though I knew it was completely wrong, and it went against everything I was raised to believe, I had done the unspeakable.

I had jumped over the cliff and enjoyed every moment of it.

I fell in love with Edward Cullen.

~0~o~0~o~

Even though I was exhausted when I had gotten home that night, I couldn't fall asleep. My whole body seemed to be running on an electrical current. I stared at my plain white ceiling and smiled and giggled at every moment that came to mind.

I wanted him to be here. I wanted to be with him. My head was dizzy and I couldn't keep the stupid grin off my face.

Eventually I started to flow into the soft water of sleep.

Sunday passed in a happy induced blur. I spent most of the day doing homework I had neglected. He called later that night and we talked until I fell asleep.

When I awoke Monday morning the happiness and giddiness I had been riding on suddenly went away.

Reality seemed to slap me hard in the face. I wouldn't be able to stroll into the school with Edward at my side. I couldn't talk to him in any of my classes and I would have to pretend he didn't exist. I had to act like I hated him. How could you hate someone you loved?

The word seemed strange in my head, because for the most part I thought differently. I didn't believe you could fall in love in a few weeks. I didn't even know I could fall in love. I thought I was too young, I thought a person needed to get around live life before they could officially declare themselves in love, but I knew what I felt and I was pretty sure most people would define this as love.

Maybe it was just puppy love and in time I would grow out of it, but it hurt to think of ending it with Edward. I could feel my chest tighten up with just the thoughts of us not being together, although if I was being honest, I had no idea how this was gonna work out.

I laughed as I realized the situation I was thrown in.

Maybe I should keep a record and publish a book.

The morning routine was much the same. I dressed, I ate, and I got in a car with my cousins.

I walked by Edward. He stared at me with soft eyes and flesh heated.

In my classes I found myself staring at him. It was hard to concentrate on the classes I shared with him. He would sneak a glance over at me and I would look away embarrassed. I was mesmerized when a friend of his would make him laugh.

During passing period I happened to pass Edward at his locker.

I felt nauseous and angry when I saw a girl flirt with him. She twirled her hair around a finger and laugh at something he said. I hated it. I secretly planned my revenge on the unsuspecting girl. The only thing that kept me from feeling completely sick was the fact Edward seemed to take no notice.

He didn't flirt back or encourage her and I felt a sense of pride come over me. He wanted _me_.

_Ha take that!_

He shot a smile my way when I passed and I felt a smug grin creep over my face. I think I felt a smidgeon of sympathy for the girl. Her efforts to get him to notice were futile.

I had never really been a jealous person, but seeing her being so public with him, made me angry. I hated that I couldn't be the one batting my eyelashes at him. _I_ would actually get a reaction. He's probably laugh and stroke my cheek. He would call me silly and kiss my forehead.

I hated that we couldn't even _talk_ to each other without causing suspicion.

I found a note in my locker after lunch. It was from Edward. He asked me to meet him at the public library after school. A smile slowly crawled on my face and I couldn't wait. I was anxious and fidgety the whole day.

When the end of the day came around I was so eager to go home, that I was a bit more clumsy than usual. I fumbled with my locker and it took three times before I could get it open.

I was walking down a nearly empty hall way trying to get to the parking lot, when she approached me.

"Bella!" I heard her tinkling voice come from behind me. I twirled to see Alice Cullen walking my way. I tensed a bit, but allowed for her to catch up with me. She had a smile on her face, but her eyes were boiling with some type of emotion.

"Hello Alice?" I said my voice flat.

"Bella I want to talk to you," she said and grabbed my wrist. She never gave me a chance to refuse or accept. Her grip on me was tight and almost painful. She pulled me to the end of the hall and into the bathroom. She let me go and turned to face me.

Her face no longer held a smile. She looked at me with dark eyes and a serious face.

"Look Bella, personally I have no problem with you. I don't really care about the stupid feud our families can't seem to let go. But I do care about my family. I care very much about them, and there's a reason I don't like Jasper Swan. But you…you've never really crossed any boundaries.

"I'm going to tell you now. If you have any plans of messing with either of my brothers you can rest assure the rest of your time in Forks will not be pleasant. Whatever thing you have going on with Edward, better stop. Edward is a good person and he cares too easily. If you hurt him Bella, be prepared to feel three times as much pain," she said slowly and glared at me. I think I was truly frightened of Alice. I pressed myself against the bathroom wall to put as much space between us as possible.

I couldn't help but wonder how she knew.

"And believe me, I don't make idle threats. Stay away from him," she said and then sharply japed something in my chest. She turned on her heel and walked away. I managed the catch the item she through at my chest before it hit the floor.

I stared at it.

It was my mask. The snow white glittery mask with the dark sapphire colored edges. I felt the material with my fingers. I was stunned. My heart was pounding loud in my ears. My fingers started to shake and my breath was heavy.

My legs were too weak to hold me any longer and I was sliding down the tiled wall.

My chest was tight. It wasn't so much the fact that Alice had made a threat, but what she had brought to mind.

Edward and I were truly supposed to be enemies. I suddenly found myself cursing my great great grandfather for making the stupid faulty deal with Cullen. I found myself cursing every generation that had ever continued to add fuel to this stupid fire.

I hated myself for being stupid enough to fall for him.

Everything was wrong. This wasn't supposed to work out like this. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. I wanted to be able to bring Edward to meet my family. I wanted to be able to get along with Alice and see the sweet funny side of Emmett, Edward had never failed to mention.

But that couldn't happen for us. Edward would never be able to meet my mother or argue over sports with Charlie. I would never be able to come for dinner at his house or chat with his mother. It just wasn't possible.

I suddenly wondered if this was all worth it.

- - -  
_**okay…well this is an extremely late update…I know. But I started school and it was so tiring and busy that I barely found time for anything else. It was very hard to update, but I tried to get in the time to type and at last I finished this chapter. **_

_**So tell me what you think… please!!! Reviews make me happy and make me feel guiltier and want to update…so please review!!**_

_**Oh and BTW what about that new New Moon trailer. Wasn't it fabulous? Didn't it make you want to scream?? Did it make you count the days once again until NM???  
It did for me…**_

_**Twilightholic-Tanya **_


	7. Dilemma

I want to be with you tonight, tomorrow, and today it can't happen now, but it will someday.  
-**Unknown**_  
_

I sat on the bathroom floor until I heard the shrill ring of the final bell echo throughout the school. My hands clumsily wiped away tears I hadn't known had fallen. I quickly stood, placed the mask in my bag, and ran out toward the parking lot.

Rosalie was leaning on the car. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her face was angry.

I noticed the parking lot was nearly empty and heat rushed to my face.

"Where the hell were you?" she shouted when I was in hearing distance.

"I-uh…got held up by a teacher. I failed my last test, wanted to talk," I lied quickly. Her angry expression morphed a bit, but I could still tell she was pissed.

"What class?" she asked and I racked my head trying to pick a class.

"Trig," I mumbled and opened the car door. Jasper was leaning back on the seat tapping his fingers against the wheel in rhythm with the punk rock music blaring through the speakers. I shut the door and leaned against the window. The cool glass helped calm my nerves.

Rose slid in and changed the station, so a pop song flowed through instead. The song was terrible, but it wasn't making my head pound.

"What the hell?" Jasper gripped.

"I'm not listening to your shit," Rose said simply and puffed out her hair. She flipped down the visor and checked her makeup. I ignored their constant fighting and tried to hold back the tears that were still so very near. I remembered the note Edward had left and my heart pounded.

"Do you guys know where the public library is?" I asked quickly almost like an impulse. Jasper turned his head to stare at me.

"Yeah it's not too far from the school. Why?"

"I need to do research for a project," I answered.

"Do you need to go now?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay you need help?" he asked and I could hear Rose grumble as she filed her nails. I shook my head.

"No, I just need a ride," I told him. That was the last thing I wanted, for both of them to be at the very place I was supposed to meet him. I was glad Rose was pissed at me. Jasper looked like he wanted to argue but was silenced by the look she gave him.

I knew she would have offered to help me if I hadn't made her angry.

"Do you need me to pick you up?" he asked and I shook my head.

"No I don't know yet, but could I call you if I needed one?" I asked and he nodded and switched the radio station again. I looked out the window and tried to stop my fingers from shaking.

What would I tell him? Should I just call it off?

My head swam with confusion as I tried to fit everything into place. I should get out of it now. I should tell Edward it was over and save me from getting too deep. If I stopped now I wouldn't hurt anyone else. No one knew about us and no one would ever know.

I felt my chest close tightly as I thought about saying goodbye to him. Would he understand or would he hate me? Would I be another generation simply adding fuel to this never ending fire between our families? I briefly wondered if anyone of my ancestors had ever faced a dilemma like mine.

Had they ever fallen in love with a Cullen to only tell them goodbye?

The car stopped in front of a small building and I realized we had made it to the library. My heart pounded. I hadn't expected it to be so soon. With a deep breath I opened the door and stepped out. The cold air hit my face like a whip and made my eyes sting.

I said goodbye to Rosalie and Jasper and they sped away.

I probably walked too slowly but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to rush it. I didn't think I really wanted to do it. I opened the door and the fresh wave of heat made the blood rush to my cheeks.

It smelled of paper and books, the way I always knew library's to smell. The librarian looked up from the magazine she was reading and smiled at me. I smiled to and walked off to the section labeled fiction. I didn't know where I was supposed to meet him. I suddenly felt lost.

The fiction area I noticed was cut off from the rest of the library. It was a room with large doors granting access. Near a corner I realized was a completely secluded area. The shelves granted privacy and there were only a few kids in this area sitting near bean bags on the other side of the room. They were so absorbed in their picture books they didn't even look up as I walked in and toward the spot I knew he was waiting in.

I crossed the aisles until I reached the corner one. The meeting place I was sure.

Like I knew he would be, he was there. He had a book opened and was reading a page. He was in a completely different world. He wasn't in the corner aisle in a dusty library. He was in the world of the book, speaking the lines of character he read about. Living the characters life and I suddenly wanted to bring him back.

I understood now why he always interrupted me during my reading sessions.

He leaned against the shelf that was connected to the wall and I watched as the emotions ran through his face. I smiled because I knew I must look the same way when reading. I slowly pulled off my bag and walked toward him.

He didn't look up until I was standing in front of him. I pushed the book down and away from his chest as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him.

The feelings I had in the meadow seemed to double as I kissed him now. All thoughts of saying goodbye completely erased from my mind.

His lips molded with mine and heat flowed through my body along with the thousands of butterflies that broke free at the bottom of my belly. I pushed myself closer. Startled he fell back toward the bookshelf. It rattled slightly and books hunched over. He laughed loudly and bent to kiss me better. He took my chin in his hands and angled my face as his lips attacked mine.

It felt too nice. It felt too good and I suddenly felt…scared. I didn't want to lose this.

Edward pulled back suddenly and I stared at him shocked. He wiped the corner of his mouth that held a tear. I wiped my cheeks quickly at the traitor tears that had fallen without my consent.

"I'm sorry, I…" I trailed off not knowing what to say to him. He stared at me before slowly wiping away my tears. I couldn't get them to stop.

"What's wrong?" he asked but I couldn't answer. My throat felt crowded and I couldn't speak. Everything, just EVERYTHING seemed to hit me. I just shook my head while the rest of my tears oozed out my cheeks.

"Bella?" he asked and I could hear the worry and urgency in his voice. I backed away and walked toward my bag. I picked it up and walked back. I opened it and took out the white cloth. I tossed it at him and then I sunk to the floor.

I held my book bag and stared at the section I was in.

_Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion _and many other books I loved were placed among the shelves.

"Wh-where'd you get this?" he asked although it was _my_ mask and I _should_ have had it with me anyway.

"Your sister," I said numbly and heard him shuffle to sit on the floor next to me.

"Oh," he whispered and I looked toward him. He fingered the mask and stared at it.

"She said some things…" I continued.

"You know, I read this story once… a long time ago. I don't even think I read it. I think it was read to me, but that's not the point," he started completely veering off topic. I wanted to ask where he was going with this but I couldn't. I just listened to what he had to say because I knew when he was done it would all make sense.

"It was about a couple. The story took place in present day, but the girl…she—She was lost in time. She didn't exactly live in today. She lived in her dreams where she would dream of a boy. She couldn't really explain it but she felt for this boy. He was a stranger, but she knew she loved him," he said in a slow steady voice and I was hypnotized.

He met my eyes and my heart pounded.

"She, uh, had these weird dreams. Each time it was a different situation, a different time, where she would meet the boy. They would fall in love and always, always, something went wrong where they couldn't be together. He was either married, or he died, or like this one time he was like a bum and he decided to trick her and get close to her so he could steal a priceless necklace she owned. He messed up and fell for her, but when she found out what his intentions had been she couldn't forgive him," he said.

"In the dream?" I asked to clarify and he nodded. He was silent for a moment, drifting off into his thoughts, perhaps trying to recall the story's end.

"Then she actually met him. But he lived across the country. She'd given up on him. She didn't think it was meant to be, but he had been having similar dreams and he thought it was. When they did finally come to the climax of the story he told her that maybe their lives had always been entwined. They were one soul split during the passage to earth and their life goal was to find each other," he finished then looking at me.

I laughed a bit and offered a smile at him.

"I was just thinking about that. I was wondering if any of our ancestors had ever gone through this…falling…" I trailed off realizing what I was about to say, but then I quickly recovered hoping he wouldn't notice my slip.

"…falling for each other."

"Maybe…wasn't that one of the many feuds we had?" he asked leaning his against the shelf. I shook my head remembering that story fairly well.

"No, it was an arranged marriage. They were forced to get married in hopes that it would end the fighting. But Swan didn't want to do it. She ran off…" I sighed.

"What generation was that?"

"I have no idea," I answered not really caring.

"So…what she tell you?" he asked as he flapped the mask in his hands.

"Basically to stay away…"

"I'm sorry. Alice may seem small but she has quite an attitude," he said and stared at me with his soft eyes.

He looked so beautiful, leaning against the bookshelf staring at me with his dark jade eyes.

"Why…why are we doing this?" I asked desperate to know why we were bothering to do this. Why did we put everything in jeopardy for something that…that would most likely end in a horrible way?

"People do crazy things, sometimes. I can't really give you an answer," he said and picked up the book that had fallen out of his hands during our kiss and was now currently resting next to him. He fiddled with the pages and I thought over his words.

People do crazy things…

…for love.

Wasn't that how it went.

I thought about that. Did I even know what love was? Could a person fall in love in only a month of knowing them? I didn't know, but maybe that's why _I_ was doing this. Maybe I loved him.

I had thought I fell in love with him during our night in the meadow, but was it really love or just an overwhelming feeling of joy. I couldn't tell

The realization seemed to shake me for a moment. I felt my breath whoosh out of my chest when I realized that I didn't feel guilty. I felt different, grown, matured, and a rush of everything else. There were no words for me to explain it. This feeling was different than the one in the meadow. It was stronger and real, not bubbly and happy.

"I wish we could just…runaway, from everyone and everything. Just you and me," I whispered and he smiled and he shifted to bring himself closer to me. He held my cheek and I stared at him.

"I promise, one day, we will. We'll leave everything behind and everyone who tells us we can't," he promised and kissed my forehead. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"When we grow up you mean?" I asked with a laugh.

"I mean when we can make it work. We're too young right now. We'd grow to hate each other," he told me.

"I can't imagine myself hating you," I breathed suddenly afraid. I grabbed his hand in both of mine and played with his fingers. They were long and pale and I realized he had musician hands.

"Me neither. Why we can't go now. Let's just wait until we're finish with High School."

"Where we gonna go?" I asked suddenly giddy.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I want…to live in a city. Where we can see a skyline during nights, and listen to cars rush."

"What city?"

"Somewhere warm."

"Phoenix?"

"Too much past. We have to start fresh."

"Hmm…We could move to Mexico," he offered. I shook my head.

"That's too foreign," I said.

"The Hawaiian islands perhaps?"

"Maybe," I asked and we shifted so I could sit in between his legs and lay back on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and we continued to play with each other's hands as we spoke.

We spent the next two hours together. He read his favorite passages from the many books in the aisle and told me why he loved them. I did the same and we told each other stories and jokes and snuck kisses and touches in between all of it.

I wasn't completely sure if I was in love, but it felt pretty close to it.

"It's late," I whispered when I saw that it was close to six.

"I guess," he shrugged and I felt exactly like he looked. Disappointed.

I nodded and walked off to call Jasper. He said he'd be there in ten minutes. I thanked him and walked back to get my jacket and bag. The section was empty and the lost feeling I had when I first entered the library came back. Where'd he go?

I quickly threw on my jacket and swung my backpack over my shoulder as I wondered out of the fiction area. I didn't see him anywhere. There was a new librarian at the desk and she glanced up when she saw me walk out.

"Not checking anything out sweetie?" she asked and I shook my head a bit startled.

"Um…no I was just doing research for uh—"

"He went outside, hun," she said with a smile and leaned back in the chair as she opened her book.

My heart pounded and she glanced up once more.

"Trust me, kid. I don't very much care what's going on in this town. I'm getting to old to deal with this. It's only fun when you're a teen. I won't say nothing, I promise," she said stared at me. I nodded and she smiled again and returned to her book.

I walked outside quickly and realized it was snowing. The first of the season. As much as I hated the cold I couldn't help but think about how pretty it was. The white flecks falling against a midnight blue background.

I continued to look up at the sky to watch the flurries and being me, I slipped.

I fell back against the snow in a rush. I hit the ground with a muffled thump. It hurt.

"Ow," I whined. I heard a chuckle and snapped my head up to see Edward looking down at me laughing.

"It's not funny," I scolded and looked around to be sure no one was watching us.

"It is so," he said and bent to help me up. I held him as I lifted myself off the ground and continued to glare at him.

He held on to my arm to make sure I was steady.

"You okay?" he asked with only a light humor in his voice.

"I'm fine," I snapped embarrassed and still a bit angry. I just really wanted him to think I was angry at him.

"Don't be mad," he whispered and I smiled. I couldn't help it.

"Hey, before I have to go…how did that story end?" I asked and Edward's face dropped a bit. I felt my own smile go away.

"It wasn't a good ending was it?" I whispered sending white puff into the air.

"No."

I nodded feeling sad. I started to walk toward the sidewalk but Edward tightened his grip on my arm. I looked up at him. "That's not us, Bells," he tried to reassure me and I nodded. I knew it wasn't us, but it was a story that resembled us or…it did to me.

"I know, I'm just being silly," I said, but I don't think I was. I could feel the tears brim. The end of that story brought back my fears. We would make it work? Could we go against everything that…that threatened to break us? Edward turned me and grasped my arms. I stared at him with watery eyes as the tears begin to slip down my cheeks.

_We'll be okay_, his eyes told me.

I nodded and he let my one of my arms go but still held on to the other, unwilling to say goodbye. I knew how he felt, but then I heard a car door slam. The noise startled me and I could feel Edward's grip tighten for just a moment.

My heart flew to my throat and I felt sick.

"Let her go now, Cullen," Jasper shouted and my eyes grew wide. Edward's face turned cold and he let me go and took a step back.

"Jazz it was nothing," I said desperate to cool him down. I knew how it must have looked to him. Very bad.

Edward holding on to my arm while I stared at him worried and tears running down my cheeks. A number of situations could have put us in that position and I'm sure Jasper only thought about the bad ones.

"What did you do to her?" Jasper asked looking straight at Edward and ignoring me completely.

"She fell, Swan. I was only helping her up," Edward answered. I didn't like this. I wanted to get out of it quickly.

"Did she ask you to?"

"Would you rather I left her on the floor?"

"It would have been better than a Cullen touching her!"

"That's nice," Edward laughed and rolled his eyes.

"What's that suppose to mean?!" Jasper asked and I could see his face slowly gaining color.

"It means that maybe—"

"HEY!" I shouted already sensing the tension and heat of the argument. Edward was beginning to lose his cool demeanor.

"Jasper he was only helping me up. You heard Charlie. You can't get in trouble again," I warned trying to get some sense into his head. My heart pounded as I watched his fingers clench. We needed to leave and soon.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked and I shook my head.

"No! Are you crazy?" I shouted desperate to get out.

"You go too far, Swan!" Edward said getting angry like I knew he would.

"I don't know you, Cullen. I don't know what you would do," Jasper seethed.

"Well I'm not you," Edward retorted and my heart dropped because that was it. He implied Jasper would do something like that to his sister and Jasper hit his point.

In a rush of movement Jasper had knocked Edward down. I heard an audible groan of pain and then the punches came. I didn't know what to do.

Fear punched me in the gut.

I screamed.

- - -

_**Okay people don't hate me terribly for being super late. To be honest this chapter was getting a bit too long so I realized that I had to split it in to two. I decided to end it in a cliffy, because hopefully that will make you want to read the next chapter all the more. **_

_**So please review and I promise the next chapter will be posted in probably a matter of days… Cuz it's not completely finished, but half way and to prove it and since I'm feeling happy I will give a sneak peak to anyone who reviews. :) **_

_**I need the feedback people truly I do.  
Until next time,  
T-T **_


	8. Betrayal

This love is difficult, but it's real.  
**-Taylor Swift**

After I screamed the shuffle of feet and buzz of voices were all around me as the staff ran out. They managed to pull the boys off each other. The Liberian I had met at the desk whispered soothing words and placed me in the passenger seat of the Jasper's car. She asked what had happened and if I was alright.

I couldn't tell her how it started. I just assured her I was fine and tried to hide my tears.

"I'm going to go talk to the boys. I don't think we'll involve the police today," she said and I nodded. She closed the door with a soft thud and walked off to the two large men that were talking to two smaller shadows.

I watched from inside the car as a shadow of figures stood in front of the library. I couldn't make out which was Edward or Jasper.

One of the figures broke free from the staff's hold and started to walk off. It was Edward. I wish it was light so I could see the extent of the damage but I couldn't.

The men talked two more minutes with Jasper before letting him go. He walked toward the car and I could see the bruise he was forming on his right cheek when the lights of the car came on.

I gasped stunned.

The fight couldn't have lasted more than five minutes and yet they still got in their share of punches.

I felt anger and hurt and frustration boil within me.

I was angry at Edward for hurting my cousin.

I was hurt because I loved them both and I didn't want to witness that.

I was frustrated at Jasper because he always had to pick a fight.

"Take me home," I bit out.

"Bells…"

"I don't want to talk to you. Take me home," I said as new tears brewed over.

"You're not mad at me! What the hell Bella he…you…" he stumbled over his words and I turned to glare at him.

"I told you to drop it. He didn't hurt me. He was trying to help," I said as he started the car and began to drive away.

"It didn't look that way to me," he grumbled as we speed through the streets.

"Well maybe you shouldn't assume," I bit out angrily.

"Are you serious?" he practically shouted.

"Yes I am! God dammit Jasper why are you so idiotic sometimes? You don't mind accusing him of…of…of less than honorable intentions, yet you decide to knock him down when he turns it around?" I shouted back my face heated in anger. I turned away from him and stared out the window trying to calm down. The scenery blurred by and I started to worry about our speed.

"Why the hell are you defending him? I had every right to think—"

"On what grounds?!"

"He's a Cullen. It's obvious we don't get along and I don't know what goes through his mind!"

"Why would hurting me go through his mind? I mean they've never gone that far before!"

"Are you serious?! You've got to be shittin' me. You're defending him?" Jasper shouted.

"No! I just…he was helping me up," I said softly. I noticed the car had yet to slow.

"Well sorry if—"

It was quiet in the car as Jasper suddenly dropped his sentence.

"Why was he helping you up?" he growled low and menacing. My heart thumped loudly. I stared straight ahead and tried to calm myself so I could make the lie believable. There was a light up ahead, but Jasper wasn't slowing.

"He was being nice I guess," I said lamely and became more concerned with the car as we approached the light.

"Jasper slow down," I warned.

"Why— is something going on between you two?" he asked suddenly.

"Jasper slow down," I said a bit more loudly as we approached the light.

"Answer me!"

"JASPER STOP!" I screamed as we reached the red light and cars zoomed by. The car stopped and I jerked forward. The brakes screeched in protest. The seat belt pulled me back hard and I felt the soreness in my shoulder.

"What the hell!" I shouted my heart beating loudly and my pulse pounded behind my ears.

Jasper stared at the road for a few seconds gripping the steering wheel tightly. His chest lifting with every breath he took. I stared at him with wide eyes. It was silent except for our labored breathing. My fingers were sore as I clutched to the leather arm seat.

"There's something going on." Jasper stated. He didn't even question it.

"No…There's—"

"What's the point in lying? I already know," he said and glanced at me. His eyes resembling angry waves of the ocean. My heart sank when I caught a look at his eyes.

_Betrayal_

The air seemed to leave my lungs and I could feel the guilt wrapping me in its hold.

"It's not…not like that Jasper," I whispered because what was the use of denying it. He knew.

"End it!" he snapped. The light ahead turned green and Jasper stepped on the gas.

"It's not that simple," I whispered and stared down at my fingers. I felt ashamed and guilty, like a child does after being caught doing something wrong.

"What do you mean? It's exactly that simple. Just finish it," he warned.

"I can't…do that," I whispered.

"So…what? You're going to let him use you as his whore?" He shouted and the words were like a slap to the face.

"NO! What…How could you say that?" I breathed hurt that he would even accuse me of such a thing. He seemed to sense he had gone too far and relaxed his shoulders.

"What exactly is going on? Are you fu—"

"No! We haven't done that…" I stopped myself from saying yet. I was a bit shocked I had even considered saying it, but…was that even a possibility between us? I pushed the thoughts away from my mind. This wasn't the time.

"So what the hell are you actually doing?" he questioned and stared at me with icy eyes.

"I…I…don't know…we talk…we…" I couldn't even describe our relationship. Not because we didn't have one, but because it was Jasper. I didn't want to make myself deeper in trouble but I had already admitted to it.

"Do you kiss him?"

"Yes," I admitted shamefully and Jasper's knuckles started going white.

"How…When did this start?" he asked. I didn't answer. I didn't want to. I gave him enough information for now.

"Stop it!" he said again.

"I can't!"

"Do you have any idea how stupid you are? What if Charlie found out? What if Uncle Charles found out? How much trouble you would get into? And for what? Because your too busy frolicking around with your enemy. You're going to hurt them, your own flesh and blood, because you can't end it? This is ridi—"

"I love him!" I shouted to stop the hurtful rant and felt the tears slide down my cheeks.

The car stopped in the middle of the small street we were on and Jasper started at me with cold eyes.

"You _what_?"

"I…Love him," I whispered and felt the tears hang on my chin. I admitted it. To Jasper no less. I loved Edward Cullen and I couldn't even feel joy about it.

"No, you don't. You're going to end this! If you don't I will tell Charlie and guess what would happen then?" Jasper warned and thoughts flashed in my head.

I recalled a distant conversation. The conversation my parents had had before we moved. In the middle of the night when they thought I was asleep.

"_Charlie… I don't think we should do this," my mother sighed. I hid in the shadows outside the kitchen listening._

"_Jim's kids handle it just fine. Bella's a strong girl," my father said and I could just make out the light sense of pride in his words._

"_But she's not use to this. She hasn't grown up with it. What if… she truly can't handle it?" Renee voiced her worries. The kitchen was quiet for sometime before my father took in a deep breath._

"_Ok. The first sign of trouble or anything associating with the Cullens, we'll come home. I promise."_

Home. Home wasn't here. Home was back in Arizona. Home was away from Edward and that's where I would be sent.

"We'd move back," I said my voice dry and hoarse.

"Yes you would," he said and started to drive again.

"So why don't you just tell them now!" I said as the tears kept dripping down my cheeks.

"Because you like being here. Rose likes having you here. A girl she can completely trust and she deserves to be happy for awhile," he said staring off into space. I felt my lips quiver.

"Okay," I agreed and felt my chest tighten.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

We drove in silence and I tried to stop crying. Jasper didn't look at me and I didn't look at him. We were in completely different worlds. Before I knew it we were home. Jasper parked and the car and got out. I followed a bit confused and walked into the house. I followed behind Jasper as he walked in the house and closed the door behind us.

I could hear voices in the living room.

I realized we had company and I wouldn't be able to excuse myself to my room. My chest shook soft but I made sure to clear my cheeks of any leftover tears and did my best to calm myself.

Jasper walked in before me. I slowly arrived in and stared at the scene before me. Uncle Jim was sitting on the love seat with a pretty redhead. She looked to be in her late twenties and way too young to be interested in a 44-year-old Uncle Jim, yet she sat by his side and held his hand and looked at him as though he were a god.

I noticed why…

She had a beautiful diamond necklace glittering on her neck and a matching bracelet, but the one piece of jewelry that surprised me the most was the glittering rock on her third finger. I gasped a bit.

Granddad sat on the rocking chair looking bored. Renee and Charlie sat on the sofa smiling politely and laughing at whatever the redhead had said. Rose sat next to Renee looking pissed and bored. I walked and sat at the arm rest next to Rose.

Jasper leaned causally against the fireplace.

Charlie glanced up and noticed the bruise that had darken to a deep grey with purple edges.

"What happened?" Charlie said in a low voice. Jasper shrugged and I felt my heart thump. Uncle Jim looked at his child.

"It was Cullen wasn't it!" he questioned. The tension licked the room in a quick motion and suddenly everyone was on edge.

"Hey! This is a time of celebrating!" the woman who was sitting down next to Uncle Jim said in a high bubbly voice. She rubbed Jim's neck soothingly and that seemed to calm him. Rose fidgeted and Charlie's face relaxed. Granddad hadn't said a word. He barely looked up from the fire that was going.

"What's going on?" I asked hoping to change the subject quickly.

"Oh, Bella hun, this is Vicky, um, Jim's fiancée," My mother said stumbling through her words. This news shocked me. This would be his…third wife after Aunt Lilly's death. I raised an eyebrow but managed a smile toward the women who couldn't have been a few years older than me.

"So you're Bella. I was wondering where you had gone. Everyone talks so lovingly of you," she said and offered me a hand. I shook it, but I didn't like her. She had a cold air around her. She held herself too high. As though she was better than those around her.

"Nice to meet you," I said hoarsely. Rose stood and walked toward the kitchen. I glanced at Jasper and realized why he didn't want to tell Charlie. Rose needed me more than ever right now.

I got up and walked after her. She was leaned against the counter staring at window.

"She seems…" I tried to say something but Rosalie found the word before I did.

"Like a bitch. Yeah, well she is one. Do you know she threatened to send me to some god forsaken girls' school in the middle of nowhere Kansas?" Rosalie snapped and turned to face me. I stared at her with sad eyes.

"Gosh…I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Knowing my father he'd probably let her. Gosh Bella I hate her," she said and sniffed holding back her tears. I quickly hugged Rose and held her tight.

Even though she didn't realize it, she was helping with some of the pain I had felt. The tears spilled out my eyes and down my cheeks into her hair as we held each other in the kitchen. I never liked Uncle Jim. He wasn't even my uncle.

Charlie and he were cousins. They'd grown up so close to each other they were practically brothers.

"The wedding is in February," she whispered.

"That's two months away," I said and pulled back a bit shocked. She shrugged and wiped her eyes.

"They'll be divorced by June," she said and walked back to the living room.

~0~o~0~

"You're going to need a date," Rosalie said as we drove home Friday afternoon. I hadn't spoken to Edward all week. I couldn't even cut a glance in. Jasper had been watching me like a hulk. I didn't even trust sending a message to Edward to let him know why I was avoiding him.

I came to the conclusion that I didn't care what Jazz threatened me with. I wasn't going to end it. I loved Edward and there was no way I would be able to stop it and pretend that nothing had happened between us.

"Why?" I asked dully. I had been feeling depressed since Monday and I didn't feel like changing it now. Jasper stared at me through the mirror with cold blue eyes. Had I mentioned he'd been watching me like a hulk? He practically walked me to all my classes and drove me everywhere. Charlie and Renee thought it was sweet but I knew better.

I only saw Edward in the few classes that we had together. His jaw had been sporting a bright pink cut. And a few little ones on his forehead. It made me sick to think Jasper had done such a thing to him. I couldn't even ask him if he was alright because the class was full of gossiping students.

We barely spoke at all in school and I could see the worried glances he was sending my way. I deleted his text messages without even reading them. It killed me to do it, but I knew he would understand when I explained everything to him tonight.

"Well we thought it would be nice if you got to know some of the decent boys around here. Rosie's going to take Royce and I'm taking Maria. We wouldn't want you to feel like a fifth wheel," he said but I saw the intention in his eyes.

He was trying to distract me from Edward. He wanted to prove what we had wasn't love. GAH! He just didn't know.

"I don't want a date," I said glaring at the mirror. Rose turned in her seat and looked at me. I directed my gaze toward her.

"Why?" she asked.

"I don't really know anyone around here," I said truthfully.

"I heard Mike Newton was into you. He's cute. Sorta annoying but it's only for the wedding," she said and I shook my head. I knew Mike Newton and I didn't really like him.

"He's…going out with Jessica," I said quickly. I didn't know if they were so much as _going out_ as they were _going at it_. Jessica was one of the neutral girls. The only reason she would be considered neutral was because she spread so much gossip about both families that it didn't actually look like she took sides.

"Well…You could ask Ben? It wouldn't be a romantic date, but it would be more of a…friendship date," Rose suggested again and I shot her down.

"It wouldn't feel right," I said feeling slightly happy that she couldn't think of a decent single guy.

"Oh! I know. Do you remember Jacob?" she asked her eyes bright and my head snapped toward Jasper. He was looking at the road with a smug smile on his face.

"That was…a long time ago," I said remembering the cute small boy I use to play with during my summers down here as a kid.

"You should see him, Bella. He's actually pretty hot," Rose said losing herself to her thoughts with a look of concentration on her face.

"I thought you hated him?" I shot back.

"I do, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be a good date. He's single I think. Charlie just went to visit Billy last weekend. You should ask," she said with a bright smile that lit her entire face.

"I don't—"

"You know what…I'll ask Charlie myself! That would make him happy I bet," Rosalie said and I stared in panic as she turned back around and switched the station. Jasper only sent a smile my way before dropping me home.

-*-

"You're _what?_" Edward hissed over the phone. I felt like flinching.

"I have no choice!" I said a bit too loudly because I could hear Charlie's snore's stutter.

"Of course you have a choice! Who?" he said and I could almost see him seething over the news I had just announced.

"Jacob Black. We use to be childhood friends, but we grew apart when we stopped visiting Forks," I said softly.

"Why?"

"Because…I told you…Jasper knows. The only way I can truly convince him is if I go to the wedding with a date. Do you really want me to move?"

"No! Of course not…I just don't see why you have to take a date," he said frustrated and I imagined him running his long fingers through his overly messy hair. I sighed heavily and fell back on my bed. I stared at the glow in the dark stars I had put in this room when I was seven.

I just never took them down.

"I was doing well until Rosalie mentioned Jake. My family loves the Blacks. My father said it was a good idea and my mother immediately called Billy. But maybe we'll get lucky. Maybe he'll say no," I said hopeful.

Jacob hadn't been in when Renee called so Billy said he would deliver the message when Jake got home.

"I highly doubt that. Jacob Black is infatuated with you," Edward growled and I felt a blush light my cheeks.

"You don't know that!" I scolded.

"Please, you're not the only one with friends at the reserve. The Clearwaters have been our friends for as long as the Blacks have been yours. The only difference is that down there, the community is too close together. They don't let our rivalries mix with them. Seth use to tell me when we were little how one day Jake was going to marry you," Edward said disgruntled. I could almost hear him rolling his eyes.

"That was ten years ago!" I argued.

"He's also told me that Jake has been anxious to see you. He was with a girl, but I have no doubt he'd dump her for his lifelong crush," Edward said and I blushed again.

"It doesn't matter," I said and he chuckled darkly.

"How can you say that? Jacob is…the perfect guy for you. You're parent's love him and he wouldn't have to sneak around to see you. How do I know he won't snatch my girl," Edward said softly and I could hear the pain in his voice. I smiled softly when he referred to as being his girl. I liked being Edward's because I knew he was mine.

"But I don't love Jake," I said so quickly that I hadn't thought over the words. I quickly threw my hand over my mouth. I had gotten so comfortable to the fact that I loved Edward I had forgotten I hadn't told him. This wasn't how I wanted to tell him.

Over the phone in a middle of an argument.

It was quiet for a little while and I could hear Edward breathing.

"You don't?" he questioned and I could hear the amusement in his voice. My face grew hot.

"No…" I whispered.

"Then who do you love?" he asked. He wanted me to say it.

"I…I was just saying he doesn't have a chance at snatching me away," I said sarcastically afraid to say what I was pretty sure he wanted to hear.

"Why?"

"Because…it's…I've always viewed him as a brother! I don't…see him _that_ way," I argued.

"He doesn't view you that way," Edward retorted.

"So?"

"So…maybe my fears aren't unjustified."

"They are completely! It's only for the wedding," I said trying to calm him.

"What if you like being at the wedding. What if he asks you out again and you accept and soon forget about me?"

"That's not possible," I said simply.

"Why not?"

"Because I love you and I—" I stopped short…I told him. I felt like slapping my forehead, he had egged me on and I gave in. I froze waiting for a reaction. I wanted to speak to take it back, but I couldn't. I didn't want to.

He laughed softly over the phone and my cheeks sizzled with the heat of embarrassment I felt. He was laughing at me.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me. I thought I was the only one," he said and laughed again. I giggled partially in relief and partially in joy.

"You love me?" I asked because I didn't want to be the only one with a declaration.

"Yes, I do," he whispered and I was very sure that if I died right at that moment I would be content. I laughed even more.

It was quiet between us for a while as we basked in the joy of it. I knew for sure I was in love, what I didn't know was how happy it made me. My only wish was that I was near him. So I could hold him and have him hold me I return.

"I can't believe you love me," I said in a wispy voice breaking our silence.

"The feelings are completely mutual," he assured me.

"I think we have an uncountable number of generations flipping over in their graves," I said.

"I think so too… A Swan and Cullen in love… Maybe hell is freezing over as we speak," he said and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me.

"I only wish it could be easier for us," I said seriously.

"Where would the fun be then?" he teased and I managed a smile though he couldn't see it.

"Where indeed?" I said playing along. He laughed, but it was off. Something was wrong. It was a darker sort of laugh.

I tried to push it off, but I couldn't help the nagging feeling that Edward was plotting something.

Whatever it was I knew wasn't good.

- - -

_**How's that for keeping up my promise. :). I want a gingerbread cookie now! Yum. Ok so I know what's going to happen in the next chapter and I gotta say that I took inspiration for that chapter purely on Romeo and Juliet. So I'm guessing people know what is gonna happen or have a vague idea. **_

_**Also…the next chapter is in Edward's pov…maybe. I'm still debating because honestly the next chapter could be told in both their POV's but I think we'd get better insight into Edward's. Let me know what you would like. Anyway tell me how you liked it.  
Review!**_

_**Oh and….  
FELIZ NAVIDAD!  
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**_

_**Twilightholic-T  
PS. The family tree for the Swans might be a bit confusing…  
Bella's grandfather has a brother  
They each had one kid which would be  
Charlie. . . . . . . . . .Jim  
then Jim had Rose and Jazz  
Charlie had Bella.  
Charlie and Jim are cousins…not brothers. They're fathers are brothers.  
Hope it makes sense! **_


	9. Escape

Looking at you, holding my breath, for once in my life; I'm scared to death.  
-**Lifehouse **

**EDWARD**: The car hummed as the heat poured through. The windows were frosted with ice. New flakes fell gently and quickly melted as they touched the ground. The trees in front of the car wore white skirts of snow and every so often a light wind would pass by and shake the snow from the branches.

Bella licked the spoon filled with ice cream and I laughed as I let my head fall back. She stared over at me and stuck her tongue out.

"Don't judge me Edward Cullen. It's never too cold for ice cream," she said and took another lick of the spoon, this time getting a bit of chocolate on the corner of her mouth. I couldn't help it. I brought her close and kissed the corner of mouth getting the bit of chocolate off.

She giggled and pulled away.

"Would you like some ice cream?" she asked and I nodded but she pulled it away and put her body in between myself and the ice cream.

"Hey! I bought it," I argued trying to reach around her.

"So, you should have bought one for yourself," she said and pulled the small plate away. She slipped the spoon in and took another spoonful and shoved it into her mouth.

"Bella…please," I begged. I wasn't sure why I wanted any. I didn't at first, but the fact that she had refused to give me any increased my desire for it. I pouted slightly and she sighed heavily. I grinned knowing the fight was over. She filled the spoon with chocolate and offered me some. I leaned to take it but before I could she angled it the wrong way, filling my cheek with chocolate.

She burst into loud giggles. I smiled wickedly and scooped the ice cream with my finger to place it on her nose. She stopped laughing and sighed as she reached for a napkin and wiped it off.

"Truce?" she asked and I nodded as I stole the napkin away from her. I wiped my cheek and she continued to eat the ice cream. A song softly played on the radio, but I didn't bother listening.

"So how are wedding plans?" I asked hoping to figure out any new information. Emmett would want to know if I found anything out that he hadn't known. True I was the one giving most of the information but I still reported it to him. He easily believed that I simply had "sources." Seth had given information too. I think that's where he believed it came from.

Seth and I had a closer relationship than Emmett. And Seth still had a pretty good relationship with Jake. Thinking of Jacob Black simply made me angry so I pushed the thoughts of my head.

"It's exhausting. This Vicky girl doesn't seem to have any friends…so she's got me and Rosalie as her Bride's maids. She has her sister-in-law, Irina as the maid of honor…oh wait sorry 'matron of honor,'" Bella then continued to recite in a nasal high pitched voice, "_Because she's married and is not a maid, but matron and if I can't get that straight I might as well not be in the wedding at all_," Bella took a deep breath and looked at me. She smiled sort of evilly.

"But she can't kick us out of the wedding so Rosie and I continually mess with her. It's the only fun part of that godforsaken wedding. Gosh I wish it would be over. But on the bright side only a week left," she said with a bright smile and glanced at the clock. She had been doing that for the past hour.

I raised a brow.

"Do you have an appointment for something?" I asked wondering if she had to go to a fitting or rehearsal of some kind. She looked down at the now empty bowl of ice cream and shook her head. She had somewhere to be, but didn't want to tell me.

I felt my stomach clench as I thought over the many things she would want to keep from me.

"What's wrong then?" I asked not wanting to jump to conclusions and be wrong.

"I…I mean I was supposed…he asked and I just…I didn't think it was a big deal…I—" she let out in a rush of air before I grasped her chin and forced her to look at me effectively cutting off her speech.

"Do you have a date with Jacob Black?" I asked and stared at her. I could see my reflection in her eyes. I looked hurt and I didn't want to make her feel like she was hurting me. It wasn't her fault.

"It's not a date…we were just gonna get something to eat. _As friends_," she said and I rolled my eyes as I released her. I leaned back in my chair and started the car. The engine roared to life and broke the awkward silence that had fallen between us.

"What was I supposed to do?" she asked frustrated with me. I kept my eyes on the road as we drove.

"How about tell him no?" I suggested and she sighed in irritation.

"How could I tell him no? I'm supposed to be single?!"

"But you're not!" I said and looked at her. She took a deep breath and crossed her arms across her chest as she stared out the window.

"But nobody can know," she whispered and I ran a hand through my head tugging at it a bit.

This was so completely complicated and I wondered if we would ever make it through, but then I looked at her and knew we had too, because she's the only one I every felt like being with and we just had to make it through. We just…had too.

I hated relationships. They were complicated and messy and they took much time and if you weren't willing to put in the time (which I hardly was) they failed. But with Bella, I couldn't give up so easily.

"Do you think it was this hard for Romeo and Juliet?" she whispered and the question caught me off guard. I snorted a bit.

"We may seem like a modern Romeo and Juliet, but I think our situations are very different. And I figured as much. How could it not be? Society and feud keeping them apart while love keeps them together," I responded and stared at the snowy street.

"Do you think they ever felt like giving up?"

The question came like lightening. Quick and seemingly out of nowhere. The response came even quicker.

"No."

I didn't have to think about it because I knew the thought couldn't have been a possibility. Love wasn't something you gave up on. They were willing to die to be together, to give up…it—it just wasn't possible.

"I don't want you to think I do, because…I don't it's just sometimes it feels like the easier way out. But actually thinking about ending it, that just breaks my heart," she said and gently pushed some hair away from my face.

The movement was comforting and reassuring. I grasped her fingers and kissed the tips softly.

"Don't give up on me," I pleaded and stared into her warm eyes. She smiled and shook her head softly.

"That's not an option for me," she whispered. "I love you."

I smiled back and for that moment I felt bad about what we were planning.

It was only for that moment, because when I dropped her off knowing she was going to see another guy, I wanted nothing more to continue with the plan.

0~o~0~o~0

"Okay everyone ready?" Emmett asked as he placed the silver mask on his face. Seth chuckled softly and gave thumbs up. I rolled my eyes as I placed mine on and stared at the small group of boys we had gathered all dressed in suits and looking much older than they seemed. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

Seth slapped a hand on my back and shook me a bit.

"Worried?"

"A little," I said softly. Seth knew everything. He was the only one I could ever trust on this subject. We had grown up together and he was by far my best friend.

"Sure you wanna go through with it? I gotta say I got a lot to lose to. If I get caught Jake is gunna literally kill me," Seth said pulling on his locks. I smiled and bumped his shoulder.

"It'll be fine. We've gone too far now, we have to go through with it," I said and tugged on my locks of hair. The once fire bronze hair was now a deep brown. Seth noticed and gave a quick grin.

"It isn't permanent. That's a dead giveaway though, I gotta say," Seth said trying to hold back a laugh as he scuffled my hair. I hadn't wanted to dye my hair but honestly I had no choice. My hair was a giveaway and even if I wore a full face mask someone was bound to recognize me.

"I know," I said as I ran my hand once again through my hair. The dye would fade in a week or so.

The guys began to walk out from our little hiding place and I realized Emmett had given the word to move.

Our plan was risky and we might be caught the moment we walked into the reception hall, but I couldn't find it in me to quit on the plan. I knew I was acting foolish and jealous, but it was too late to go back now. Besides, it might be fun.

We entered through the back of the reception hall. We were in a small storage room. There were three other doors here and the group of seven boys split. Seth and I walked into the middle one while the other groups went into a kitchen and what I assumed was another office.

I opened the door and the sounds of instruments blasted me. I straightened my mask once more and walked into the hall full of Swans. I knew, thanks to Bella, that Vicky had made the servants at the wedding wear silver eye masks. It was our way of sneaking in.

Seth clapped my back and wished me good luck before running off to do his own thing. The hall was large. The middle of it held a stage where the band was currently playing and was cleared into a dance floor. On either side of it however tables were spread everywhere. I spotted Bella's family, but no Bella.

True to her word, I could see Waiters and Waitresses coming out with snacks from the kitchen wearing silver masks. The band members each wore a mask and I rolled my eyes. The idea was completely stupid, but at least it allowed me to walk into the wedding without anyone batting an eye. I continued to walk near the wall simply looking as though I was inspecting the hall. I tried to look into the dance floor, but it was filled with bodies and overflowing dresses and dark tuxedos.

I didn't spot Bella anywhere.

It wasn't until the band decided to play a slower song and some of the couples went to sit, did I spot her.

She looked stunning. Her hair was in curls and picked up in what looked to be a complicated design. She had purple flowers braided into her hair. From the distance I couldn't tell what they were exactly. The matched the lavender dress she wore.

Her skin was pale and glowed in the dim light of the reception hall. The image would have been perfect if Jacob Black had not been in it. Her arms were wrapped around her neck and she laughed softly at something he said. She grinned widely and the smile lit her face.

A strong wave of jealousy ran over me, whether it was rational or not, because she was mine and I'd be damn if he took that away from me. Quickly I strode over to where they were dancing. I took a deep breath and tapped Jacob on the shoulder. They stopped dancing and Bella looked at me.

"May I cut in?" I asked politely. Bella's face scrunched into confusion. She didn't recognize me.

"Um…" Jacob mumbled unsure of what to do. I stared at Bella for a second longer and watched as recognition crossed her face.

"It's ok, Jake, me and…Anthony are friends," she said and took the hand I held out for her.

"Ok," Jacob muttered and slowly walked away.

Once she was out of reach a bright smile spread across her face and I couldn't help but want to kiss her. Of course I couldn't because I knew Jacob was probably watching us like a hawk. She looked lovely and as we swayed I realized she held lavender in her hair.

"What are you doing her," she whispered and played with the strands of my hair. A sense of Déjà vu hit me and I realized this was all too similar to the dance.

"You needed a date to the wedding, and well what better than your boyfriend," I said and grinned devilishly.

"I have a date, but I have to say this sounds so much more appealing," she said through a giggle as we took a turn.

"I'm glad," I said and I heard her gasp. We were standing under a ray of light and I knew she must have caught a glimpse of my hair.

"What did you do?" she asked as she ran a hand through it. I leaned into her touch automatically.

"I had too," I said simply and her eyes heated with anger.

"You did not have too!" she scolded in a harsh whisper.

"It's not permanent," I said softly and she sighed heavily.

"I don't like it, and what about school on Monday? When you show up with faded brown hair? What will people think of that?" she asked and I rolled my eyes. I hadn't really thought that up, but what did it matter. People could mind their own damn business.

"Don't fight. I'm risking my butt and police record to be here with you, I don't want to spend it arguing," I said with a sad smile. With a heavy breath she relented.

"Fine," she said and smiled. She rested her head on my chest and I felt perfectly content. Even if I was surrounded by Swans.

She pulled away after a moment and stared at me.

"You didn't come to start something did you?" she asked and I could see the fear in her eyes.

"No, I swear. _I_ came for you. Seth came because he has friends here…" I trailed off afraid to go on.

She took a deep breath.

"Go on, who else," she said and I could feel her tug harder on my hair.

"Emmett came with a few friends. They don't want to start anything either. Emmett can't afford to be caught here. He just wants to take pleasure in crashing the wedding. He won't start anything, I made him swear," I explained carefully and Bella seemed to think this over before nodding her ok.

"That sounds fine. As long as nothing happens. I'm glad you came anyway," she said and the song came to an end.

Jacob strode up without missing a beat. He offered a large grin to Bella and reluctantly I passed her on to another guy. Every instinct told me to bring her closer and send Jacob to hell, but I knew I couldn't. So I gritted my teeth and slowly walked away. Bella watched me go with sad eyes and I waved softly with my fingers before taking my spot on the wall.

It was torture to watch her with another guy.

**BELLA**: I watched as Edward returned to the shadows and looked up at Jacob trying to mask my hurt. I offered a limp smile and Jacob grinned widely. I no longer wanted to dance with Jake, after I danced with Edward. It wasn't the same. I kept imaging Edward's hands on my hips instead of Jake's. I kept feeling Edward's soft (now colored) hair in my fingers, not Jake's rough hair.

"So who was that guy anyway?" Jake asked.

"A friend. We got to know each other because of the wedding," I said softly surprised how fast the lies were coming.

"Well I have to be honest. I didn't like you guys dancing… it felt weird," Jacob said smiling brightly. The smile made his face look boyish and completely innocent.

"Jealous?" I asked and laughed softly. I didn't expect an answer.

"Yeah, I guess I was. I must really like you," Jake said in a whisper and softly pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. I stared at him with wide eyes. I stopped dancing and looked at him. Jake wasn't supposed to like me. He couldn't like me! That wasn't how things were supposed be.

He was my friend. My brotherly friend.

"Jake I don't—"

Before I could continue the sentence Jake grasped my chin softly. He stared into my eyes with heavy lids and I realized he was going to kiss me. In front of my boyfriend.

Jake lowered his head and I was frozen for only a second before a rush of blood came to my head making me dizzy. I shook my head and pulled away from Jake. I looked to the spot where I had seen Edward, just in time to see him making his way to the exit.

I ran from Jacob to chase after him. Jacob called for me but I ignored him as I made my way through family and friends, trying not to lose track of Edward.

I wanted to call out for him to stop, but I couldn't very well do that.

He made it to the Lobby of the hall a minute before I did. He was walking down the steps and toward the street when I made it outside. The night wind hit my bare shoulders with a sudden fierceness I shivered.

"Edward wait!" I called and began to walk down the steps careful not to trip over my dress. He didn't listen as he continued to walk down the sidewalk and away from me.

"Edward please!" I begged. He froze and I watched his shoulders rise with a breath he had taken.

I walked behind him silently and wrapped my arms around his waist while pressing my cheek against his back. He turned slowly and hugged me in return. Rubbing my arms to keep me warm with the friction.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think—"

"No, you didn't think." He said ending my apology abruptly. He was angry. Somewhere in my mind I wanted to yell and argue and tell him he was stupid for being angry, but I knew that if it had been reversed. Had I been the one watching another girl about to kiss him, I would be just as angry, just as hurt.

"O Edward, Edward, Wherefore art thou Edward?" I whispered softly and felt him shake with laughter underneath me.

"That was cheesy," he said calling me out. I looked up at him with a bright smile.

"But you laughed," I said and he leaned down and placed a small kiss on my lips.

"Did you kiss him?" he asked as he pulled away.

"No."

He stared at me for a second. He stared at my eyes, trying to figure out if I was lying which I wasn't.

"I believe you," he said softly.

"You should," I whispered back before rising up to kiss him.

Edward straightened and I turned to see a bright line of light break the darkness of night as the reception hall's door opened. It was hard to tell who had come out in the dark.

"Bella!" Jake called and looked around trying to spot me in the dark. Edward took my hand and began to run down the sidewalk. We were running away from Jake and I could kiss him for being such a genius. I began to giggle as the scuffling of our shoes on the side walk left Jacob even more confused.

"BELLA!" I heard him call once more before we had run out of ear shot. Even then we did not stop running and though the icy air hurt my lungs and my legs were beginning to tire, I felt no need to stop running.

"Where are we going?" I giggled breathlessly as we reached the end of the block. Edward led me to a dark car that clearly was not his Volvo and opened the door for me.

"Let's ditch the wedding?" he asked and I nodded as I got in the car.

He came around and got in. The car started with a low quiet rumble and we were off.

"Where are we gonna go?" he asked me and I laughed.

"Aren't you suppose to figure that out?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I don't really care as long as were alone."

"Then, neither do I," I said and leaned back into the seats of the car.

"We could stop at my house," he offered.

"What about your parents?"

"They're at a banquet. Won't be coming home until dawn. Alice is at a friend's house. She said she didn't want anything whatsoever to do with our plot. And the boys are still at the wedding," he said and I thought this over.

"Do you ever see your parents?" I asked avoiding giving an answer.

"Of course I do. It's just different for me Bella; I've never been too close with them. They had Emmett young and didn't want to put aside their work and fun so they gave him to a nanny. When they had Alice and me a year later they thought parenting was easy so they passed us on again to a nanny. I never thought anything strange about our family until I started school," he explained to me with a shrug. I felt a bit sorry for Edward although I knew I shouldn't have, because Edward had no problem with the situation.

"That's a shame," I said softly and he laughed.

"No. it's not. Don't think I'm missing out on a family, because I'm not. Alice and Emmett and I are as closer than most brothers and sisters out there and it makes up for it. Trust me," he said and entwined his fingers with mine.

"So do you have a better place to go or will you settle with my home?" he asked and again I was brought to face the question.

"Okay," I whispered and he smiled once again and turned to face the road.

I liked to imagine that we were driving away. Driving away from the fights, from Jake, from my parents, his parents, family, and worries. Driving away from everything that kept us apart and to a place where we could be normal.

But I knew, when the morning came everything would come rushing back to us.

- - -

_**Okay, so here's the deal and what may cause some updates for all my stories:  
's spring break for me!  
2. Two days before spring break, I sprained my foot in gym becuz I'm a major klutz.  
3. The weather decided it wants to be bipolar. So it snows and then sun, it snows and sun. **_

_**So pretty much I'm stuck in my house with nothing to do for a whole week. So I write to entertain myself. **_

_**Anyway I hope you liked the update and I would love reviews. They might make this horrible strain of bad luck end and make me feel better! **_

_**-T. Tanya**_


	10. Amor

"Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."  
-**John Keats**

We drove up to his house. Every bone in my body told me this wasn't right. What the hell was I doing? I shouldn't be at the Cullen home. Then I glanced at Edward and my doubts sorta faded away. He had a way of doing that to me.

He opened the door and came around my side to open it for me. I walked out and braced myself for the view. The house was…well it was huge. It seemed way too big for it to be here in Forks. I felt nervous.

He pulled me along and opened the door. I was led into a large foyer that showed stairs going up. Everything was so open and beautiful.

"Who plays the piano?" I asked as I caught the view. He laughed and his hand went to scratch the back of his neck.

"I do," he admitted sheepishly. I smiled brightly.

"I never knew that," I said and he walked toward it dragging me by the hand all the while.

He sat and made me sit right next to him.

"Any favorites?" he asked and I thought it over.

"Not really, no," I said thinking over my short list of classical music. He laughed and began to play a tone I recognized all too well. The familiar chills crept over me.

"Moonlight?" I asked and he shrugged and watched him play. The large windows illuminated the house so it wasn't too dark and watching him play was absolutely beautiful. I listened for a while and then I stood. His playing never faltered. I walked toward the large window.

What was I doing here?

The music stopped and I twirled to find Edward making his way toward me. He lifted his mouth in a crooked grin and before I could speak his lips were on mine. His lips molded with mine and I felt his tongue peak out asking for permission. I opened my mouth and threaded my fingers into his hair pulling him closer. He moaned softly and I smiled as he pulled away. Our breathing was off.

He rested his forehead on mine. I stared into his dark eyes and I couldn't believe how much I loved him. This was really real. It wasn't some streak of rebellion like Jasper thought it was. I truly loved Edward Cullen. I could feel it. The way my heart beat a little harder every time he looked at me. The way it stopped when he kissed me. The reason I let this go on for so long.

How could this be any more difficult?

"Want a tour?" he asked and I smiled.

"Sure," I answered hoping it would let me rest from my thoughts. He entwined his fingers with mine and we began walking through the house. He showed me the first floor. Which consisted of a living room, family room, dining room, two bathrooms, a guest room, and a veranda where many potted flowers were kept. Esme's true hobby was gardening.

He would stop at something sometimes and give a back story. Like the shelf where he had a few trophies. A few were his and Alice's but most were Emmett's. Alice had some for dance, he had some for track, and Emmett I realized was into all types of sports.

He took me upstairs. It was just a long hallway with many doors. They consisted of Alice's room, Emmett's room, his parent's room, a bathroom, a game room, and Carlisle's office. The door at the very end of the hall way led to another set of stairs.

These stairs led to his bedroom.

"Wow," I whispered because his bedroom was pretty much the size of two of my bedrooms. There was an expensive looking stereo system pushed against one wall. A large bed was pushed against the opposite wall and a black leather couch leaned against the corner. There were two doors that I suspected were his closet and well, I wasn't sure.

But what got me the most were the two French doors that led all the moonlight in.

"It's one of my better hideouts. Emmett has his game room, Esme has the veranda, Carlisle's got his office and Alice usually doesn't need one, but like me she uses her bedroom," he explained and walked over to the sofa. He snatched a remote off the stereo and pressed a button. Immediately music began to play softly.

I walked over and glanced at his list of CD's. I was surprised to find that we liked similar bands and artist.

"Paramore?" I asked with a small smile. He shrugged.

"It's actually Alice's. She lent it to me," he explained and I nodded as I scanned the rest.

I walked over to the French doors passing him as I did so. He stuck out his foot and lightly tapped my ankle. I stuck my tongue out and opened the doors. A cold breeze hit my bare shoulders, but it smelled like water and grass. The doors led out to a small balcony.

"What made you so special that you got the best room in the house?" I asked walking over to sit next to him.

"I'm the favorite," he said simply and I stared at him incredulously. He laughed at the look at my face.

"I'm kidding. It used to be just an attic. But with a little convincing and a lot of hard work I got them to agree to fix it up for me. The things you could do when you're ten and have the cutest face around," he said with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder gently.

"Wow," I whispered a little astonished. He laughed and began to nuzzle my neck. I could feel light pecks trail down from my jaw toward my shoulder. I giggled and his hands went around my waist to bring me closer to him. He caught my lips in his and I wanted to give in. I wanted to stop worrying and just be with him. Just let the night pass like it should, but being me I couldn't. Before the kiss could get heated I pushed him gently and stood from the couch. He looked a bit confused but I didn't dwell. I walked to the other side of the room and stared at a photo.

Alice was on Emmett's shoulders and Edward was at their side. They looked to be a few years younger than they were now. I smiled and then felt two hands at my waist. His chin rested on my shoulder.

"We were in Chicago. On vacation, that was at Navy Pier," he said and I nodded.

"You look so happy," I commented and he laughed.

"Wouldn't you be?" he asked and I laughed too.

"Yeah I guess I would be. Did you have fun?" I asked.

"Yeah, it was just us. No nannies or cooks. Esme cooked and we acted like a real family. That was nice," he said and his voice became a bit hazy. I felt bad for him. He hadn't experienced the things I had. I turned around in his arms and kissed him. I threw my arms around his neck to bring him closer. He hands dug into my hips. He pushed me backward until I was in contact with the wall. He broke free from my lips and trailed them down my neck once again. He stopped to pay special attention the spot where my neck met my shoulder.

I threaded my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.

I opened my eyes and found myself glancing at the picture of his family.

I felt tears prickle at my eyes. We would never settle their feuds. Not unless we both killed ourselves and we weren't living in the 1500's. Would he really want to run away from his family to be with me? Could I runaway from mine? What if they never approved of us? Was I doomed to never see my father again? Never cook with my mom or have girl talks with Rosie?

"We shouldn't do this," I whispered and he pulled away slightly.

He stared me down with his glittering eyes and I couldn't help gasp a bit. He was absolutely stunning in the pale light. He smiled wickedly.

"All the more reason we should," he breathed so quietly I wasn't sure I heard. He gave me his crooked smile and I felt my stomach tighten. That was my smile. If I ended this would it belong to another girl?

He bent down to kiss me again, but I couldn't do it. I turned and he pecked my cheek. This was wrong. All of this was wrong. I thought I could do it. I thought I could forget but I can't. I can't forget myself. I can't forget who I am and who he is and how this would never work!

"No! It's not! We can't!" I said angrily and pushed him. He stumbled a bit at the unexpected movement and I squirmed out of his way and onto the small balcony. A breeze fluttered by and took his scent away from me. That was for the best. I could never think right when he was around. When he was in my thoughts.

Which was all the god damn time!

I leaned against the railing and buried my head in my hands.

What was I supposed to do now? I felt like crying. How did I let things get so messed up?

I thought I could run away from my family. I thought I could forget about them, but I can't. Edward would give anything to have what I had, how could I walk away from that? How could I forget about him? How could I pretend I didn't care for him?

Sure I could go off and marry someone my parents liked, like Jake, but I would never truly be happy.

This all seemed so much for me to handle. I was seventeen for Christ sakes. I heard his footsteps behind me but didn't bother to lift my head.

"I know this is…more confusing than anyone would expect, but Bella you have to understand, if I could stop. If I could know what the right choice was… I would do it," he whispered and I knew he would. He would do it in a heartbeat.

I lifted my head from my hands and stared at him.

"Will this ever be right? Why do we even bother? This is torture! Surely we can't go anywhere. We can't—" but I didn't finish the sentence because he had dipped his head and kissed me. It was slow and sweet and reminded me of our first kiss. When he pulled away I was smiling. I turned my body to face him and he stepped closer and rested his head against mine.

Slowly he raised a hand and wiped a tear away from my cheek. I didn't know I had been crying. I felt my cheek heat.

"Don't…Don't say things like that, Bella. I know what we have is the farthest thing from perfect and we probably hurt more from it than enjoy it, but I couldn't imagine life another way. I couldn't imagine me without you and to hear that you could…it kills me," he whispered and instantly I regretted bring it up.

He just didn't know that I felt the same way. I knew that he thought I could be happy with Jake, but that wasn't true. It would never be true.

"That's the problem! I can't and it scares me. Dammit Edward for the first time, I don't know what to do. I'm so confused," I admitted and he let a breath out as he took a step back and leaned his back against the railing.

He let his head drop back and looked up.

"You ever think that this is the way it's supposed to be? That it was fate's way of saying it just has to end?" he asked and brought his eyes down to meet mine.

Fate, was this all Fate's doing?

The real question was if Fate was doing this as punishment or reward.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean…" he trailed off and turned back to face me. He grabbed my waist and brought me closer. I flushed and his fingers slowly trailed my blush. I remembered he once told me that he hated when I blushed because he could never figure out what it meant.

He lifted my chin and planted a kiss on my lips. It started slow, but it didn't take long to heat. My fingers found their way into his brown messy hair and tugged softly and heard him moan.

I instantly knew what he meant then.

We were without a doubt meant for each other. There would be no one else for us. We had found a soul mate or whatever you wanted to call it in each other.

_My only love sprung from my only hate!_

But that meant we either got our families to approve or choose.

Choose between Edward and my family.

How could Fate be so cruel?

I felt the tears burn my eyes and before I could hold them back they were spilling down my cheeks. He jerked back suddenly and stared at me with troubled eyes.

"I can't choose! It's hurts too much," I cried. I wanted him to comfort me, but he didn't. He let me go and stepped away. He knew what I was talking about.

"I love you," he paused for a moment before continuing, "too much to ever make you. I'm not forcing you to stay with me," he told me.

My head snapped up. I was shocked.

I knew he loved me, but he had never said those exact words to me. I never thought much of it, but it was an amazing difference to hear.

He loved me.

I smiled slowly.

Just like that he made my problems disappear. But like my tears, which were now gone, I still had the stains on my cheeks. They would be back, but not right now and that was what mattered.

"I can't force myself to leave," I said with a breathless humorless giggle and he smiled as I walked toward him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

He turned me around and led me back into the warmth of the bedroom.

His lips never left mine and his kisses felt good and warm. I felt his tongue lick my lips and I opened my mouth to him. His tongue met mine and swirled in contented bliss.

My hand weaved into his hair and I tugged forcefully. He moaned and sent vibrations into my mouth. I felt the chills run down my body and I needed to get closer to him. I pressed myself to him and felt every inch of him against me. I broke apart breathless and his lips never took themselves off me. He moved down my neck and reached my shoulder.

He slowly pushed down my spaghetti strap and kissed the place where it had been. I whimpered. His hands came up to the zipper of my dress. He stared at my eyes asking permission before continuing to pull it down at incredibly slow speed. I felt the dress get looser.

He hesitated for a moment and it was silent as we watched each other. We knew what was going to happen. But I was ready. I pushed my other strap down my shoulder. He grasped my chin and kissed me once more before sliding the dress down my body.

The dress pooled around my ankles and I was left in nothing but in my underwear and bra. I felt myself blush. He slowly trailed a hand down my arm before smiling.

"You're lovely," he whispered in my ear and I smiled as I began to undo the buttons on his shirt. I slid the shirt down his arms and slowly trailed the muscles on his stomach and watched as they spasm at my touch. He kissed me harder and pushed me back on the bed.

"I love you," I breathed quietly into his ear.

"I love you," he said and I smiled as he kissed me once more.

o.0.o

I felt the sunshine on my face. It was bright and dazzling and hurt against my closed lids. I moaned softly and turned my face away from the direction of the sun. My body was exhausted and I wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep.

But something felt off. The bed felt too soft. The blankets felt too warm and fluffy. The scent wasn't mine…

My eyes flew opened and I was met with a sleeping Edward.

Holy shit!

I sat up and looked at the clock on Edward's nightstand.

7:08.

Frick!

I stared down at Edward. He looked so peaceful…so happy. That was enough to make the tension disappear. I lay back down and stared at him. I pulled the blanket around myself. Slowly I trailed my hand down his cheek. He twitched. I held back a giggle and used my index finger to trail his jaw.

He tried to swat my and away but I pulled back before he could. This time I let my finger trace the shape of his lips. His hand came up quick like a cobra and caught my wrist. I giggled and his eyes shot open. Shock registered in his face before a slow smile replaced it.

"Mmm, I like this dream," he mumbled and I laughed as I snuggled closer to him. I let myself kiss his neck slowly making my way to his jaw.

"Really? Do you have many dreams about me?" I asked stopping my trail of kisses at the corner of his mouth. He rolled us over as he hovered above me.

"Many dreams. This one feels real and I can smell you in this one," he said and lifted his lips in a smile before kissing my lips. He pulled away before I could allow myself to get into that kiss.

"I love you," he whispered and buried himself in my hair. I let my hands rub his back enjoying the moment.

"How am I going to leave?" I asked as I played with the strands of hair on the nape of his neck.

"Who said anything about leaving?" he said and began to nibble on my ear. I laughed softly. I let myself imagine waking up like this all the time. I would really enjoy that. I could wake him every morning with a kiss and we could fall asleep in each other's arms, like we did last night. A light blush lit up my cheeks.

"Mmm," I hummed in response.

"What time is it?" I heard him ask. His hands began to slowly trail up my sides.

"7:10. I really need to…" I didn't finish as his hands were now brushing against my breast. My breathing picked up. I had to leave. I knew that, but being here with Edward was making it seem like less a priority.

"No, you don't," he moaned.

"Yes, actually I do," I said sternly. He growled.

I stuck my tongue out and looked toward the ground. I didn't see my dress or my undergarments.

"Where are my clothes?" I asked

He lifted his head and stared at me. He kissed me slowly and I let my lips shape around his in a comforting kiss. He was trying to distract me and it was working way too well.

I guess that's sorta why we didn't hear the footsteps.

The door swung open. Edward pulled away and sat up blocking my view from the door.

"Edward, I just—" the speech was cut off with a gasp.

"Hey, Alice," Edward mumbled sheepishly.

Alice!

_**Ok so I'm late on the update. I know. I'm sorry. But I figured it out. I really want to get these stories done so I'm gunna work on one at a time. So this one will be finished first and then I'll move on to my other stories. I would love to hear how you liked this chapter. **_

_**I would really love reviews since I worked hard on this. I have actually already started on the next chapter so if you review I promise a preview! **_

_**Edward&Bella: you asked how Seth and Jake came into the story. This was explained in chapter 8 I think but I'll let you know anyway. Jake and Bella were friends when they were younger. Charlie would visit his dad during summers in Forks, but this was before the fights would break out because the kids were too young. and of course Charlie was friends with the Blacks. The Clearwater's however are friends of the Cullen's which is why Seth is like Edward's best friend. But the difference is The Blacks and the Clearwater's don't let rivalry's split them up so they still maintain a good relationship.**_

_**Well anyway review! **_

_**~T-Tanya **_


	11. Outlook

"No dejemos que muera el amor. No dejemos que el fuego se apague."  
_(Let's not let our love die. Let's not let the fire burn out.)  
_**-Makano**

"Oh God! Edward!" I heard Alice screech. I heard the door shut hastily. We stood frozen for a moment. We didn't move. Our breathing picked up. Slowly Edward's head turned toward me.

"Did…did she see me?" I asked in a whisper.

"I don't think so," he said and breathed out slowly. My heart thudded heavily behind my chest. I clutched the blankets to my torso and sat up slowly. I combed my hair with my fingers.

The door opened once more and my head snapped toward it. Alice stood with her hands over her eyes.

"Okay look, I didn't want to interrupt on you and your little lady friend," she said staring at the general direction of the bed with her hand over her eyes. "Hi, by the way. I'm Alice, Edward's sister," she said toward me. Edward groaned. I stared wide eyed.

"I really need my CD Edward. I was going to go over to Vanessa's but I can't unless I have that CD because she wants it," Alice said in a huge rant.

Was it me or was this just bizarre?

I really think she was keeping her eyes closed because Edward turned toward me and gave me the universal symbol of silence.

"Take it and leave, please," he said.

"Ok!" she said with a bright smile. She seemed to know her way around Edward's bedroom because she walked effortlessly to the stereo system.

"I'm going to allow myself to see now, so stay decent," she said with her back turned toward us. It was childish but part of me wanted to hide underneath the covers until she left. She bent down and began to look toward the CD's. She found it quickly and did the one thing I was hoping she wouldn't.

She spun quickly and caught a quick glance. I flinched. She looked away quickly but then she did a double take.

The CD dropped from her hand.

I pulled the blanket closer to me and avoided her eyes.

"Alice," Edward said slowly getting up from the bed.

"Don't do that! For Christ sake you're naked! With her! She's… but how…" Alice sputtered seeming shocked. I glanced toward her and could see the hint of anger. She glared at me.

"Just let me explain," he said slowly but she didn't want to hear it.

"Explain what exactly? How you've been lying to us, to all of us?! How could you do that Edward! She's a Swan, she's Bella Swan what is wrong with you?!" she said and her voice grew higher with every word. I felt the guilt creep up because she was right.

"It isn't what you think!"

"Is this how you get back at Jasper? By sleeping with his cousin? I thought you were better than that?"

"I am. Jesus if you would—"

"I don't want to hear it. Just get her out of here and stop this because if you don't I will," she threatened with a cold glare and quickly strode out the room.

I heard Edward curse slightly under his breath and get out the bed. He found his pants on the floor, tugged them on, and quickly ran out the room after her. I sat on the bed for a while and tried to hold back the tears. I stood from the bed and wrapped the thin sheet around my body.

I needed to leave. I needed to go, now!

Where in the world was my dress! It wasn't on the floor. That was for sure. I looked around and found Edward's shirt. It was cliché, but it would have to do. I dropped the blanket and quickly threw on the shirt and buttoned it. I grabbed the blanket and threw it around my shoulders giving me more coverage.

I heard voices behind the door and then it opened. I froze and watched as Edward walked in dragging a reluctant Alice.

He closed the door behind them and I heard a soft click of a lock.

She glared at me with her hazel eyes and pouted slightly.

"Here," she grumbled and tossed two square fabrics on the bed. Clothes! Not mine, but then again I didn't want to go home wearing the dress from last night.

"I want to leave," she growled at Edward. He ran a hand through his messy hair.

"Why don't you go change, Bella? The bathroom is in there, I need to talk to Alice here," he said with a sigh and I nodded. I grabbed the clothes off the bed and walked to one of the two doors his room held. I guess the other one would be a closet after all. I shut the door behind me.

The bathroom was small, but still it was his. I only wished for my own bathroom.

I heard quiet mumbling coming from the other side of the door.

This was not how it was supposed to go. I took a glance at myself in the mirror. My eyes were black and smudgy from the makeup I had worn. My hair was a tangled mess on my head and felt stiff from all the products I had to put in it to keep the style for the wedding. I looked like a mess.

I did my best to comb out the tangles with my fingers and then quickly wrapped it in a pony tail on the back of my head. I turned the faucet on and splashed cool water on my face. I was stalling. I knew this, but I just couldn't find the strength to go back out there.

Not right now.

I found my undergarments on the bathroom floor. But where was my dress?

As I changed I found light bruises on hips. My body was sore, like if I had been working out. It wasn't painful, but not exactly pleasant. When I had finished changing, I stretched a bit hoping it would help. Alice's clothes were a little tight, but they fit. I didn't think they would. When I had nothing else to do I opened the door and walked into the bed room.

Alice was sitting on the couch with her elbows on her knees. Edward sat at the corner of the bed in the same position. I was surprised how much they resembled one another. You wouldn't see it right away I guess. Not like Rose and Jazz, but if you stared at them you would see it.

Their eyes were the same shape and size. Their noses were the same. Now that Edward had darker hair they looked even more alike.

I walked toward Edward and sat on the bed next to him.

"So how long has this been going on?" she asked. I swallowed.

"Since the Halloween dance," I admitted.

"Four months? You've kept this a secret for four months?" she asked shocked.

"Well six actually. We didn't start dating until the dance," Edward clarified. Her eyes only grew wider.

"So you guys are serious?" she asked and Edward turned toward me. He shot me a smile and took my hand in his.

"Yeah, we are," he said and smiled.

"How did you pull this off?" she asked.

"This never really happened before," he said waving in-between us and I felt a heavy blush paint my cheeks. "We usually kept our meetings outside of our house and preferably out of town. Even then it was mostly car rides together," he said

"So she's the one that you were talking about?" Alice asked and I saw her eyes soften a bit as she looked at me. I turned toward Edward.

"You talked about me?" I asked softly. I felt a bit guilty because never once did I mention him to anyone. He was my secret.

"Yeah only I didn't think it was you. He had me believing it was Tanya Denali," Alice said and her nose twitched a bit.

I knew who Tanya was. She was tall and blonde and curvy and the exact opposite of me. Everything about her was different than me.

"I never said it was Tanya. You only assumed," he corrected her. Alice rolled her eyes and sat back on the couch. She stared between us and her eyes narrowed down on our entwined hands. She was quiet for a while and so were we. The silence wasn't exactly awkward but it wasn't the most pleasant either.

It wasn't like the silence Edward and I had over the phone late at night, when we had nothing more to say but didn't want to hang up.

"I really hate to admit this, but I think you guys look cute together," Alice said and a smile slowly crept over her face. She glanced at me.

"So you really don't listen to threats do you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. I blushed.

"You could make high school hell for me Alice, but I don't think it would beat losing Edward," I said and she nodded her approval.

Well she was no Jasper.

"So I guess the question now is…what exactly do you do?" she asked and again Edward and I looked at each other. This question was one that we had kept pushing off because the answers weren't what we wanted.

"What do you mean, Al?" Edward asked and stared at her.

"Well seriously. I mean you guys say you love each other and I believe you, but what is that going to do? Absolutely zip. We all want to believe love can save the world and all that other make believe crap, but it's just that. Crap," she told us with a stern face.

"So you don't want us to be together?" I whispered and held back the sting of tears. So much for thinking she was different.

"No! No, no no, that's not it at all. What I'm saying is if you tell they won't accept it. They'll say it isn't real and they'll pull you guys apart, so what are you going to do?" she asked with wide eyes.

"We've thought about this. I guess we'll just have to keep it a secret until…" Edward started but trailed off.

"Until what?"

"Until we're old enough to control our own lives. Either they'll accept us or…" it was my turn to trail off because I didn't want to think about the other possibility.

"Or you'll what? It's not as easy as you guys seem to think it is? Edward, you know better than anyone that Dad would rather disown his own son rather than have a Swan as part of his family," Alice said and I looked toward Edward who was staring away and out the window.

"What exactly are you trying to do Alice? We know this isn't easy. We've established that, but what do you want us to do. I think she's worth it. You don't want us to fight for that? To fight for something some people never find!" Edward snapped at his sister and Alice ran a hand through her hair. She shook her head and took a deep breath to collect her thoughts.

"I love you, Edward. I love the fact that she makes you happy, but I'm thinking about your future happiness. For both of you, since neither of you could see past the fact that you've found your soul mate in the enemy. How long will you really have to keep this a secret? Dad won't pay for college if you run away with her. So how are you going to support a family? There's only so much you could do with a high school diploma now a days!"

I knew this was coming. The talk about our future, and I knew we would eventually have to do it, but I wasn't sure I wanted to do it right now. I had the most amazing magical night and now I was waking up to reality. It all seemed too much for me. What Alice was saying was all true. I knew this.

Maybe it was the hope that we could make this work that had fogged my view of the truth for so long.

"I know, I know," Edward said tiredly and rubbed his forehead. It was more on instinct. I knew when he was stressed and automatically my hand lifted to play with the curls on the back of his neck. Slowly I began to rub his neck and he loosened a bit.

"That's…something," she said staring at us. I tore gaze away from Edward to stare at her.

"What?" I asked slowly removing my hand away from his neck and just taking hold of his hand like previously.

"They way you guys…it's like you're in sync with each other. I've never really seen that before," she said with a light smile and Edward chuckled.

"Maybe you just never really seen love, Ally," Edward said.

"Maybe," she said and again a soft quiet fell over us. All of us in thought.

"I want this to work out for you guys. I really do," she whispered after a couple minutes. "You have my support. I know it's not much, but I'll do my best to help," she said and shot us a bright smile.

"That's all we could ask for," he said and went over to hug her. Then she came to me and hugged me tightly. This was all very weird, but somehow I felt better knowing we had someone on our side. The fight didn't seem so big and I didn't feel like we were alone.

She pulled away and walked toward the door.

"I'm going to make sure the coast is clear. Then we'll get Bella out. Your parents should still be sleeping after that wedding so maybe it'll be easy to sneak back in," she said and walked out the room. I waited until I could no longer hear her footsteps to speak again.

"Can we trust her?" I asked and Edward laughed as he took a seat on the couch and stared at me.

"That we can. Alice won't betray me. I know that," he said and ran a hand through his hair.

"She brings up a good point," I said wanting more than anything to just drop the subject, but I knew we couldn't do that. If we pushed it off too long it would soon be too late.

"Bella…" Edward started but I held up my hand. My heart thudded with what I was about to do.

"Maybe, we should wait Edward. I mean if we were meant to be it'll happen. But maybe right now isn't the best time for us. I don't want you to give up your future for me. I don't want you to live to resent me," I said and looked down at my hands. I didn't believe what I was saying because I wanted to suck in every word I had just uttered but I knew I needed this to be done.

"That won't happen, Bella." His voice was hard and I knew he was already disagreeing with everything I said.

"It won't be forever. Just until we—"

He got up from the sofa and knelt before me. He grasped my face in his hand and made me look at him. His eyes shone with determination.

"Do you want to be with anyone else beside me?" he asked seriously.

"No," I breathed.

"Then why be miserable and alone when we can be happy and together. You make no sense," he said and I tried to shake my head, but his hands held my head still.

"It makes perfect sense. Every moment we're together were risking everything, Edward. We're risking our families trust, you're risking your future, and I'm risking the ability to stay in Forks. If we get caught together…" I trailed off. I didn't need to explain the consequences. He knew them just as well as I did.

"No."

I stared into his eyes and could see the meaning behind his. I felt the tears begin to pool. He rose slowly and placed a soft kiss on my lips. We pulled away after a moment and he sat next to me on the bed.

"You're so stubborn," I told him and offered a smile.

"No, I'm not. We can be together now, so why would you want to risk that. If we were separated would you date someone? Would you want me to date someone?" he asked and I winced imagining another girl hanging out with Edward. The thought was…hurtful.

"See! That's how I would feel seeing you with another guy. Yes, we can get caught, but I'm willing to risk everything just to be with you so don't take the easy way out of this. I don't want to wait years to be with you!" he argued and I felt the tears slide down my cheeks.

"I just want this to be easier for us," I whispered and he sighed.

"Don't you think I want the same thing?" he asked and sometimes I felt like I wasn't too sure.

"Would you still be with me if I wasn't a Swan?" I asked and he laughed. I blushed.

"Bella, I love _you_. Not the rebellion that comes with that. I would love you no matter what," he assured me and I smiled. He kissed me once more and we heard heavy footsteps on the stairs.

"He might still be sleeping, Em. Don't wake him," Alice said outside the door. Edward's eyes widened. He stood quickly and grabbed my arm. He pulled me up and pushed me toward the bathroom.

"Hide," he whispered and I heard Emmett's voice.

"You were just in here, stop lying," he shouted and the knob twisted. I ran in the bathroom and quickly and quietly closed the door just as his bedroom door flung open.

"I told you he wasn't sleeping," Emmett said. There was shuffling and I expected he was sitting somewhere.

"What do you want?" Edward asked.

"Jeez. Nice to see you too lil bro!" Emmett said. I smiled.

"What are you doing up so early anyway? Are you just getting home?" Edward asked.

"Yep," I heard Alice answer for him. Emmett laughed.

"I got too drunk to drive. I crashed at Marc's," Emmett explained.

"So I'm guessing you guys had fun at the wedding. No fights broke out right?" Alice asked.

"Nah. The Swan's didn't even suspect we had crashed the wedding. Bunch of dummies," Emmett said and laughed. I did my best not to be offended.

"Well that's good I guess," Alice said.

"Where did you run off to anyway? I didn't see you," Emmett asked.

"I, uh, came home, early. I wasn't feeling too well," Edward answered.

"Oh. Well did you hear? The old Swan might be singing his song," Emmett said and my heart thudded.

Old Swan? Granddad?

"What in the world are you talking about Emmett?" Edward asked.

"The geezer had a heart attack last night. It's all over the town," Emmett said and I felt as though my heart had stopped. My blood ran cold as I thought about my grandfather. I couldn't breathe. My chest felt tight.

I threw open the door. Edward was standing near the French doors staring at me with worried eyes. So was Alice who was resting on the bed.

Emmett stared in shock from the sofa.

I paid him no attention as I looked at Edward.

"I need to go! Now!" I said. He nodded, grabbed a sweater from the couch, and pulled it over his shoulder.

"What's going on here?!" Emmett called but Edward and I were already out the room and racing toward the car.

So much for secrecy.

**. . .**

_**So! Look at that! I finished it and posted it in one week. How's that. I think that's improvement. Okay so I need some reviews and I can't promise anything, but I might give sneak peeks out again. The next chapter is already finished and I'll try to post it next week. So really reviews would be nice, since I spent the whole day painting the kitchen with my mother. She's a very impulsive woman, so remodeling the kitchen seems to be her new thing. Lord, help my sister and me…. haha **_

_**FunFact: Emmett's comment about Old Swan singing his song comes from the fact that Swans are known to sing before they die. Just an FYI.**_

_**FELIZ DIA DE LAS MADRES!**_

_**Okay**__** so **__**please**____**Review**__**!!**_


	12. Consent

"Love would be something I'd just know. How you gunna know the feeling till you lost it?"  
**- Jimmy Eat World**

"Home or the hospital?" he asked as we slid into the car. I couldn't think straight right now.

"Uh home, if no one's there we'll go to the hospital," I said feeling sick to my stomach. Questions buzzed through my head. When? Where? Is he okay? Was it serious? I didn't know what to do. I felt so guilty.

I kept picturing Granddad's face everywhere. When we were little and he'd give me extra cookies and then wink. When he would cover me up with a blanket when he thought I had been sleeping. When he would give me a dollar and tell me to save it for something special.

All these times just kept rushing back, because I didn't want to lose him. Sure, he had toughened up after Grandma's death, and our relationship wasn't at its best, but that didn't mean I didn't love him. I didn't want to lose him. The car didn't seem to go fast enough though I could barely make out our surrounding because they were blurs of green.

Edward didn't talk as he drove. He allowed me to be alone with my thoughts although I wasn't exactly sure I wanted that. My thoughts didn't make sense to me.

_Please, let this be a sick joke._ I prayed silently as we approached my house. Edward stopped in front of it. I knew he wouldn't leave until I told him too. I opened the door and flew out.

I threw open my front door. It was unlocked. That meant someone was home.

"Mom? Granddad?" I shouted and closed the door behind me.

"Bella!" my mother's voice came from the kitchen. Her voice was laden with relief. Again the guilt ate at me.

She walked into the living room. Her hair was sticking up from the lose pony tail she had put it in. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked very pale.

"Where have you been!" she asked with widened eyes.

"Where's Granddad? Is he okay?" I asked. Maybe this was a joke and the only reason my mother looked like this was because she was worried about me. But at my sentence her eyes filled with tears and she looked away.

"What happened?" I asked again.

"He…had a heart attack last night. The doctor's say he's in critical condition. They haven't allowed any visitors just yet. Your father and cousin's are at the hospital. We've been worried sick about you. When we came home we assumed you had been with Rose, but she told us—"

"When?" I asked cutting her off.

"Around five this morning," she answered without missing a beat.

I opened the door and walked out.

"Bella! Come here!" she called but I was already opening the door to Edward's car. He started the car.

"Where too?" he asked.

"The hospital," I told him and stared at my mother. She was standing at the door way with a look of confusion. She wouldn't be happy with me, but I needed to know more. Edward drove away and again I was left with staring out the window.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Heart attack at five this morning. Critical," I answered shortly and tried to hold it together.

_He will be okay. He will be okay._ I chanted to myself like mantra hoping the words will become more and more real every time I said it. I didn't believe it but I had to do something.

I was horrible. My grandfather could have been dying and I was with the person I was supposed to hate. It was just like the dance. Would this guilt ever go away? Guilt wasn't supposed to be a part of love, was it?

"It'll be okay," Edward whispered the words in my head and grasped my hand tightly. I glanced at him and he offered me a small smile and then turned back to the road. He sounded so sure. I wanted to be angry and thankful at the same time.

"I'm not so sure," I whispered and felt the tears pool in my eyes.

"He's a strong man," Edward told me and I knew it was true. He had always been strong. I nodded and felt the tears slide down my cheek.

I needed Edward right now. I needed his words of comfort and his hand around mine. I squeezed his hand and scooted closer to him. He wrapped his arm around me and let me bury myself in his neck as he drove.

Silent tears continued to slide down my cheeks.

We made it to the hospital and he parked and we both got out.

"I think you should go up there alone. I'm sure I'm the last person your family wants to see right now but I'll be in the cafe if you need me," he explained and I nodded. He was right. He couldn't come with me, though I wanted him too.

As soon as we entered we went our separate ways. I ran to the front desk.

"I'm here for Charles Swan", I told the old red head working the counter. She glanced up. She popped her gum and began to type on the computer. My fingers strummed impatiently.

"Do you know the room number?" she asked in a tired voice. I shook my head.

"All I know is—"

"Bella!" I heard the sound of my father's voice behind her. I looked up.

"Just go," she said and turned back to her computer. I ran to him. He was on the phone.

"I got her. Ok, ok, bye," he said and snapped it shut. I jumped.

"How is he?" I asked. I could see a bit of anger behind his brown eyes, but he let it pass when he saw my expression. My situation and punishment would come later. Now just wasn't the time.

"He's not doing too well. I'm not sure he'll be able to…get through it," Charlie said and swallowed hard. My knees went week. I could see the fear behind my father's calm expression. He couldn't say things like that. He just couldn't give up like that, that wasn't how it worked.

"Oh," I felt the word leave my lips but I wasn't sure how. He wrapped his hand around my shoulders.

"C'mon. Let's go," he said and began to lead me somewhere. I wasn't sure where. We walked into an elevator.

"Can…Can we see him?" I asked and looked at the buttons as it flashed up.

"He's not up, but the doctor said we could see him one at a time. He doesn't look so good," Charlie said and the door dinged opened. He led me down a white sparkling hall. The intercom was paging doctors and nurses were running around with different carts and charts. My shoes squeaked with every step down the hall. It smelled of anesthetics and rubber.

He led me in a small waiting room. Rose was reading a magazine and Jazz was watching the television. A couple was sitting across the waiting room talking quietly.

Jasper looked up when he saw me. Instantly his eyes heated, but I couldn't deal with him. Rose closed her magazine.

"Bella! Where were you? When you parents said you were supposed to come home with us, I freaked because you had never—" I shook my head, letting her know I didn't want to talk about it.

I walked over and took the seat next to her staring blankly at the television.

"I'm going to pick up your mother. Call if you get any news," Charlie said and walked out the room. It was only silent for about three seconds before Jasper spoke.

"You were with Cullen weren't you?" Jasper snapped. I didn't look at him. I didn't even answer him. I didn't want to deal with his stupid shit right now. My grandfather was _dying_ I had bigger things to worry about.

"What are you talking about, Jazz?" Rosalie asked exasperated.

"Jacob said you ran off with a servant at the waiting. But I'm not stupid I know the Cullen's crashed it. Why would you help with that? Are you just going to—"

"I had no idea they were planning that. Seth helped him so just shut the hell up already!" I snapped and glared at him. He didn't react.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Rosalie asked.

"She's been dating Cullen behind our backs. Since November," Jasper said and never took his eyes off me.

"Which one?" she asked with an intake of breath.

"Edward," I answered.

"Why?"

"Because I love him, a concept your hard headed brother can't understand," I said. If Jasper was going to tell there was no reason to keep it secret. I'm sure Emmett already knew from Alice anyway.

"Yeah, and look where that landed you. In his bed while your grandfather dies in a hospital!" Jasper snapped and stood quickly. My eyes fogged with tears because he went too far.

"Jasper!" I heard Rosalie reprimand.

"You don't know anything Jazz! I love him! Okay I seriously love him. He loves me too and yes I admit I was with him last night, but dammit don't turn this on me! How was I supposed to know this would happen? You don't think I feel bad enough without you pounding the guilt!" I shouted and stood myself to put us on more even ground. It didn't matter Jasper was still taller than me.

"So what? You think everything's going to be okay? You love him so we can throw away all our problems with the Cullen's down the drain. We can start all over? Life doesn't work that way Bella!" he spat. His eyes darkened.

"I know that! But if you loved me you would want me to happy. So what if I find happiness with him. It's none of your business. Alice can understand that why can't you?" I snapped and his eyes grew wide. A disgusted smile crept over his face.

"So now your best friends with them Bella?" he sneered and I was taken aback by the look on his face. He looked at me like he looked at Emmett Cullen when he made an offensive comment toward him. He looked at me like when Alice would get to close to him in the hall. He wasn't supposed to do that.

"How could you have kept this from us?" Rose whispered and I looked at her. Her sapphire eyes were shiny with tears. She looked hurt and betrayed and I wanted nothing more than to break down. I felt alone. They were turning on me.

"You wouldn't have understood…it was—"

"So you could tell Alice Cullen, but you can't tell me? I'm your flesh and blood. I tell you everything, Bella!" Rosalie snapped. I felt surrounded.

"No! It wasn't like that. She…found out on her own we just—"

"It's like I don't know you anymore," Rosalie breathed and walked away from me and sat next to Jasper. I stared at her as though she had slapped me.

"How could you say that? I'm still me! I have always been me and you—"

"She's right, Bella. Because the Bella we knew wouldn't have lied to us, snuck behind our back, or betray us and you've done all of that," Jasper said and slowly sat back down. Rose didn't look at me. She stared unseeing at the TV.

"So that's it? You're going to hate me because I fell in love!"

"It's not what you did, but who you did it with!" Jasper snapped.

"I can't help who I love and it's wrong of both of you to turn your backs on me!"

"Don't you dare stand there and tell us what's wrong or not! If anyone is in the wrong it's sure as hell not us!" Jasper growled. They were seriously doing this? Both of them. I was angry and I was hurt and a whole bunch more of emotions.

"You're my family. You're supposed to love me no matter what!" I defended because it couldn't end like this. They just couldn't do this. They were all I had!

"I already gave you your chance to make it right and you didn't," Jasper said with no emotion.

"Because I shouldn't have to give up my happiness to please you! I shouldn't have too and your being a total—"

"Bella," a soft voice came from the door way. I snapped my head up to see Edward leaning against it.

Jasper and Rosalie both lifted their head. Rose's eyes widened and Jasper's narrowed.

"You brought him here?" Rose asked in a whisper.

"She needed a ride," Edward answered for me.

"Don't talk to her," Jasper snapped. I ignored it all as I ran to him and hugged him because I needed him right now. I needed to feel like I wasn't alone. I needed a reminder into why I was doing this. Why it was worth it.

He hugged me back and I let the tears flow freely. They soaked his shirt but I don't think he really seemed to mind.

"Bella," Rosalie said softly and I turned. She began to sit up but Jasper grabbed her arm and brought her back to her seat. She didn't fight him. She only stared at me with pleading eyes.

"Let's go get something to eat," Edward whispered in my ear. I nodded and shot a quick glance at my cousins before following him out the door. He led me to the cafeteria. He placed me in a seat and left to get food. I buried my head in my hands and tried to stop acting like I was.

I couldn't allow myself to think about my family. I couldn't allow myself to…to… I felt like sobbing. I probably would have broken down had Edward not returned.

He handed me a carton of soup and two rolls, along with a soda bottle and apple.

"I don't need all this," I told him but he only shrugged.

"You haven't eaten since last night. It's been a long morning. You need to eat," he said and I opened the soup. Cream of chicken.

He grabbed a candy from his pocket and ate it slowly.

"Did you eat while you were down here?" I asked and slowly ate my soup. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until the smell of food was in front of me. I pulled a roll apart and ate that. My cheeks felt stiff from the tears.

He nodded to my question.

"So… was it as brutal as it seemed?" he asked with worried eyes. I finished chewing and nodded.

"They…act like I'm…"

"A Cullen?" he teased with his crooked smile. I nodded and tried to smile back but I don't think I was successful.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"For what?" he asked.

"For…just for everything," I said and ran a hand through my hair to take away the loose strands that had snuck out of my pony tail. He snuck a finger under my chin and lifted it so I stared at him.

"Hey, there's no reason to apologize. I love you," he whispered and I smiled because the words made me feel better.

"Try to keep the mushy stuff down to a minimum," a light airy voice said and we both jumped. I looked up to see Rosalie staring down at me.

She took a seat next to me and stole one of my rolls. She ripped it and dipped it in my soup as she took a bite.

I sent a small smile her way.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and passed her my soda. She played around with the cap. Opening and closing it.

"You're right. I can't…I can't blame you for falling in love…I can't blame you for falling in love with…well with him," she said and sent a look Edward's way. He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

"Do you need a moment?" he asked her and I could detect the soft hint of bitterness in his voice. She shook her head.

"No. It's for both of you. You should hear it too," she said and took a deep breath. She opened the soda and took a swig before placing it back on the table and giving it to me.

"I don't approve. I don't know if I ever will, but I won't hold this against you. I know…you can't help who you fall in love with. That is completely out of our control. I understand that," she started and glanced between us.

"I'm not about to lose my best friend over this, so it's not me you have to worry about. I just wanted to let you know that," she said and smiled. I could feel my own smile take over my face as I hugged her tightly.

"Thank you. That means so much," I whispered into her ear. She giggled.

"Whatever makes you happy," she said and we pulled away. I could see Edward holding back a grin. She looked over him.

"Though I have to say that I think Jacob would be the better choice," she said and Edward scowled. I held back a laugh.

"I'm kidding. I have to go though, before Jasper comes and decides to kick drama king over here, out," she said and lifted herself up from the chair. She took my apple and walked out the cafe.

"Two down, about a whole family to go," I said and he laughed.

. . .

Edward decided it would be best if he stopped home. He needed to shower and change. I agreed with him and was forced back into the small waiting room with my family. Charlie came back a little bit after I had come up.

My mother was changed and looked better than she had this morning. We must have spent half an hour at the hospital before a doctor finally came up to us.

He had informed us that my grandfather was awake, but we could only visit him one at a time to keep his stress level low. I wanted to go first.

This only brought me in front of his closed room door. My heart hammered. I brushed away any stray tears and took a calming breath before opening the door.

The sight was an immediate hit of déjà vu. The white hospital room with all the noisy machines. It was like the dream I had with Edward. Only it wasn't Edward lying on the bed hooked up to about fifty seven machines, but my grandfather.

He looked mechanical with all the wires coming from him. I had never seen him look so fragile. A light beeping filled the room, measuring his heart beat. His eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy.

As quietly as I could manage I walked over to his side and pulled a chair near him.

"Granddad," I whispered and his eyes lifted. It seemed like the movement was exhausting for him because it took him several tries before they were completely opened. He turned his head and his eyes found mine. His breathing picked up and I figured he was trying to talk.

"Bella," he said with a heavy breath. I nodded but held back the tears that had began to sting my eyes.

"I'm here, I'm so…sorry. I should have been here earlier. I should have been home—"

"Stop," he whispered and I listened immediately. He lifted his hand and I reached over to grasp it in mine. His hold was so weak and I wasn't use to this. My grandfather was as tough as nails. I didn't want him this vulnerable.

"I…know…who you…were with," he said and every word took effort for him to speak. My eyes widened. Did he know? Or did he think he knew? I raised my eyebrows in question.

"The…Edward…boy," he clarified and I felt the shame wash over me. How had he found out?

"I wasn't aware you knew," I whisper and was surprised by his course laugh. It sounded off, but it was a laugh none the less and it brought a smile to my face.

"I know…because you're just…like me," he said and I was confused. I scrunched my eyebrows and he smiled once more.

"I fell in love…with a Cullen… but I… let her go…" he took a break and collected his breath before he started again.

"They didn't approve…the family. She was willing… to give her family…up, but…I wasn't," he said and I watched as his eyes filled with heavy tears. I had never heard this story before.

"She was angry…at me. She called…me a…coward," he stopped and laughed at this. He looked away from me and stared at the ceiling. I felt heavy tears slide down my own cheeks.

"She said…if I loved her…I would elope. So…I lied. I told her…I had fallen in love…with someone else…and she never…forgave me," he said.

"Granddad, I never knew," I whispered and again that off sounding laugh came from him.

"That's because…I never told you…eventually I came…to love your grandmother…very much," he said and turned so he was looking at me again. I offered a soft smile.

"But I know…now. Why I wasn't…strong enough to…marry the women…I loved first. It's because it was…never my destiny…not my fate. It's yours," he said and a smile over took his face. He was giving me consent.

He was telling me it was okay. The tears poured down heavily and I smiled because that was more than I could ever ask for. I hugged him and felt my chest shake with a sob.

"You can't leave me," I whispered and heard his laugh.

"That's…not up…to me…anymore," he said with sad eyes. I shook my head because it wasn't true.

A knock at the door stopped me from protesting. Charlie poked his head in.

"Can I have a moment, Bells?" he asked. I glanced at Granddad once more. I placed a kiss on his cheek and stood up and left the room. I didn't want to let go of his hand, but I had to.

. . .

Two hours later the doctors informed us that he had passed away. I had never felt more broken than I did then. Suddenly nothing seemed real. My dad had broken down and my mother was there to comfort him.

I didn't stay in the waiting room. I ran out and barely heard my mother call out to me. I made it to the cafeteria where I knew he was waiting for me.

I ran to him and cried. He held me and he didn't speak a word. I needed that. I just needed to cry and let it out and he knew, because he was my destiny, like Granddad had said. He slowly rubbed my back and kissed my head and I wasn't sure how long we had sat like this. Just me and him. My tears eventually dried and still he held me silently.

It felt nice to be in his arms. To know I was protected and to know I was loved. I felt nice to be comforted. I had never experienced this kind of comfort before. I didn't want to move from this spot. I didn't want to pull away from him.

But time could not, however much I wanted it too, be kept still. I could not live in this moment anymore than I could live in the moment where he had first kissed me, or when he took me to the meadow.

Time caught up with us, and with it brought trouble.

"Bella," my father's voice was tired, but I could hear the anger behind it. I pulled my face away from Edward's chest and stared at him.

"We're leaving," he said and I could see his face slowly changing color. He was dying to start a scene, but he wouldn't. Why? I wasn't exactly sure, but I didn't want to push it. I stood from Edward's lap.

He held my hand and stared at me with anxious eyes.

Everything was out now. We either made it or we didn't. I didn't want to believe it was so black and white but it was.

I smiled to try and comfort him and slowly dragged my hand out of his. My father grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me from him. I turned back one last time to see him bury his head in his hands. But I was out and heading home before I knew it.

Charlie didn't speak to me in the car. He didn't even look at me and the tension was incredibly thick. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My mother tried to lighten it with music, but it only made it worse.

I had Alice's consent. I had Rose's and Granddad's but I realized it all meant nothing. Rose and Alice were as powerless as I was and Granddad was gone. The thought sent a pang of hurt to my heart.

When we arrived at my house Charlie still didn't speak. It wasn't until we entered the house and he had closed the door behind him did he look at me and say the words that broke my heart.

"We're going home, Bella."

. . .

_**Wow…that was a tough chapter. I had a lot to say in this one, but the next one is the actual chapter that had me wanting to write this story. So it's been planned since I wrote the first chapter. I'll be working on that one during the week and I'm hoping to post it next Saturday. **_

_**So anyway review please! **_

_**T-Tanya**_


	13. Adieu

"Remember all the things we wanted. Now all our memories they're haunted. We were always meant to say goodbye. Even with fist held high, never would have worked out right. We were never meant for do or die. I didn't want us to burn out; I didn't come here to hurt you."  
-**Kelly Clarkson**

"We are home," I stated. This _was_ my home now.

"Charlie now isn't the—"

"No, we're going back to Arizona," Charlie said his eyes heating as he ignored my mother's plea.

"I don't want to go back!"

"That's not up to you," he said and walked pass me into the kitchen. My mother sent me apologetic eyes and followed after him. I was stunned for about five seconds before I marched into the kitchen.

"I like it here!"

"Oh and why is that? So you can fool around with that Cullen boy?" he said and his voice rose.

"Dad, you don't know anything about that. Ok yes I admit I like it here because of him, but I like being with Rose and Jasper. It's nice to be around my family and dammit had we come earlier maybe we would have had more time with Granddad!" I shouted.

"I took you away from all of this for your own good! Do you think I liked leaving my father? Huh Bella? I didn't and it killed me to do it, but I did because I wanted something better for you. Looks like it all goes down the drain anyway because I couldn't keep you away could I?"

"Keep me away from what! Do you even know them?" I pleaded. He looked as though I had slapped him.

"The hell I don't and I don't plan to. They've done things you couldn't even imagine!"

"Really? Have they? They haven't done anything to _me_. Nothing. What I've grown to hate is a name, dad. A name! I don't hate Edward the person," I said and hot tears began to fill in my eyes.

"Well you should! They're no good!"

"How would you know? You don't know _anything_! He's sweet and he wants to be a doctor. He gets straight A's and he loves his family but he was willing to risk it for me! Because he loves me!"

"Love?" my mother asked speaking for the first time. She was leaning against the counter.

"Yeah, love. I love him and he loves me," I told her.

"You don't know what it is. You're only 17," he shouted.

"And I'm not a child. I'm old enough to know what it is and I'm old enough to see past your hatred! You should be happy for me!"

"Happy? How in God's green earth is this supposed to make me happy, Bella?"

"Because _I'm_ happy. I'm happy. He makes me happy and you should want that for me. You should want me to be happy," I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I wasn't sure if it was from anger or from sadness.

"Oh Bella," my mother whispered and came to wrap her arm around my shoulders. I shook her off because it made me look like a child. They needed to see I wasn't one. I could make my own choices.

"We do want you to be happy, baby. But this boy doesn't love you. You don't love him either. You love the rebellion. The…excitement of the relationship," she said soothingly. I pulled away from her. She couldn't do this. She had always been on my side, she couldn't take his.

"NO! We love each other. You don't think he's wanted to introduce me to his mother? Don't you think I wish we could go to the local diner and just be happy together? He wants to walk me to my classes and take me on dates, but he can't. _We_ can't do any of it because you won't _let_ us!" I shouted at both of them because they didn't listen.

They would never listen. But it couldn't end like this. I couldn't give up without at least trying to make them see it my way. I had to try.

"Why should we? The Cullens are bad people, Bella!" Charlie yelled.

"Are they? Esme donates to about fifty charities, Carlisle's a doctor. They sound like the worst people in the world. Their son wanting to be a doctor and doing his best to get good grades is atrocious. Their daughter working at a shelter is appalling," I said bitterly and Charlie glared at me.

"We leave in two weeks. You are not to see him again!" Charlie said in a serious calm manner and my chest felt tight.

"You can't do that! How could you ask that from me?" I cried.

"Give me your phone Bella," he said calmly and held out his hand. This fight couldn't be over.

"That's it? You're not even going to hear me out?" I tried desperately.

"There's nothing to hear. It's closed. We're leaving," he said and shook his hand waiting for me to hand his phone.

"No! I'm not going," I shouted.

"You have no choice, now give me your phone," he said and I gaped.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you hate them for things that have been done in the past? You can't get over it even for me?" I whispered hurt and the words were choked out my throat. I saw Charlie's eyes soften for a moment.

"There are things you don't know Bella. I'm doing this to protect you. You're young and you don't understand right now, but you'll see this is for the best," he said. I shook my head and felt the tears trickle off my chin. I reached for my phone and placed it in his hand.

This was giving up, but there was nothing I could do.

"Say what you want to make you feel better, but I'll always know you chose this stupid hatred over me," I spat and ran out the kitchen.

I ran to my bedroom and locked the door. I didn't cry though I wanted too. I just lay in the bed and stared. I stared at nothing and thought over everything.

I heard shouts from downstairs and knew they were arguing. Every once and a while against my wishes a tear would escape, but I found it was better if you didn't think about it. So I didn't. I blocked everything out.

I blocked out my grandfather's death. I blocked out Edward.

I felt lost and hopeless and confused.

The knob on my door turned. I turned on my side and a light knocking came.

"Can I come in Bella?" Renee whispered. I didn't answer. Let her think I was sleeping.

"Bella!" she said sharper now and tapped on the door once more. The knob rustled a bit and then I heard a click. I sighed and closed my eyes. Renee had always been good at picking locks.

The door opened.

"I know you're not sleeping," she said and closed the door behind her. I didn't answer. She walked over to my bed and sat on the side. I could feel the mattress sink with her weight. Still I did not turn.

"He's trying to do what's best," she whispered in the dark.

"Breaking my heart isn't what's best for me," I whispered. I hadn't wanted to answer her, but Renee has always been able to get anything out of me.

"You really love him?" she asked and began to pet my hair, like she did when I was younger with a belly ache.

"Yes," I choked and the tears came. A flood of them. And then more because I was angry that I had cried. But they were here now and they weren't going to stop. She lay in the bed and pulled me to her.

I was angry, but I needed someone right now and she was the only one here so I let her and cried into her chest.

"I know it's hard, baby. But you move on."

"I don't want to. I love him, Mom. I love him more than anything," I whispered through sobs. I felt her kiss my head.

"We're you with him last night?" she asked and I nodded.

"Granddad knew. He told me it was ok to be with him and now Dad won't even listen," I said and felt myself shake harder because Granddad was gone. He wouldn't be back and he couldn't fix this. He was the only one that could make Charlie listen and he wasn't here.

"Baby, I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be perfect. That your father will listen and we could put this all behind us and live in a perfect world, but it doesn't work like that. The real world isn't that great. He has scars they have caused that might never be healed. It feels like you chose them over him. Ironic isn't it?" she said with a humorless laugh.

"I didn't Mom. I struggled with this choice. But now I'm losing him and it feels all wrong. I thought if dad knew how much I cared for him…he would see that and get over it, but I was wrong," I whispered and felt the exhaustion of the day creeped over me.

"I thought…I don't know what I thought, but I was almost sure this would not happen; now it seems there was no other outcome. This has always been it," I said and thought back on all the stories of forbidden love.

"Oh, Bella. Get some sleep honey," she whispered and played with my hair. I didn't want to sleep, but my body did.

Soon sleep came and took my problems with it. At least for a little while.

o.0.o

"When was the last time you talked to him?" Rose asked taking a sip of her soda. I didn't hear her words at first. I barely seemed to hear anything at all. Or pay attention.

I folded my shirt and placed it in my box.

"Bella!" Rose shouted and I jumped. I looked up.

"Yeah?" I responded. I looked away again and started to empty another drawer.

"When was the last time you spoke to him?" she asked. I shrugged. I had lost count of time.

"I'm not sure. Dad took my phone away Sunday. I haven't been to school in…" I couldn't count the days. They had seemed to drag on.

"Four days," Rose supplied for me. I raised my brow in shock.

"It's Thursday?" I asked and she nodded.

"Oh," was all I was able to come up with. I didn't want to think about it right now. It felt so much better to shut him out. To shut everything out. The funeral was only a day ago and the burial was yesterday. I'm not sure why I took today off.

Would it matter really? I was moving in a week. I didn't need to catch up on school work anyway. My grades had always been good and I would need to catch up with a whole new school. What was missing two weeks in this tiny small town school anyway?

"Are you planning on coming to school at all this week?" she asked and I shook my head.

Rose had gone to school today and since the funeral had been at five on Tuesday, she had gone that day too.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I'm not up to it. I need to pack anyway," I said.

"What about next week? You still have a week here!"

"I don't think I need to go next week either," I said lamely and tried to distract myself from the conversation with folding the clothes in my drawers as I moved them to the box.

"You're avoiding him." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I mumbled but my fingers were beginning to shake.

"Don't pull that shit on me! I've seen him Bella. He's a mess. You can't do this. You just can't disappear without letting him know!" she shouted.

"Why not? What does it matter, Rose! I hate him remember! He's a Cullen!" I snapped and glared at her. I stood from the floor. She looked up at me from the bed.

"You don't mean that. You love him and you're too much of a coward to face him head on!" she shouted back. I was shocked.

"Why does this even bother you?"

"Because he'll grow to hate you, Bella and then you're just like them!" she said with fire in her eyes. I was taken back. The tears began to brew once more and I sighed because I had been doing so well in keeping them back. I was tired of crying.

But the tears came anyway.

"What am I supposed to tell him, Rose? I don't know what to do anymore." I cried and buried my head into my hands. I felt hopeless. This struggling to push my feelings back was hopeless. I couldn't pretend I didn't love him. I couldn't pretend I didn't feel any pain.

It didn't do me any good. She sighed. I lifted my head and stared at her. She had taken out a very old worn book from her bag.

"This is Uncle Charles' journal. I found it in the attic and I think you should have it. Maybe there will be some help. I found these too," she said pulled out pictures. She walked over and sat cross legged across from me. She handed me the yellowing pictures.

I knew they were old because they were in black and white. There was only one in color and this one caught my attention.

There was a woman. Her face was long and pale. Long copper colored hair fell down her shoulder in long curls. Big green eyes stared at me with heavily framed eyelashes and her nose was long and straight and she had the reddest lips I had ever seen. She was young too. Around my age probably.

A young man held her by the waist with a large smile on his face. His chin rested on her forehead and her arm came up to tangle into his hair.

He had dark brown hair that looked nearly black and dark eyes. It was Granddad. I flipped the picture over and in a messy scrawl it informed me it was taken on August 26, 1945. Charles H Swan and Elizabeth A Cullen were the people in it. I gasped and the picture fell from my hand.

I looked at Rose.

"They loved each other?" she asked and I meekly nodded. She took the picture and smiled at the couple.

"She looks like Edward don't you think? She was a twin too. Her brother, Edward's grandfather, is a split image of him. Isn't funny how twins seem to run in both our families?" she began to babble some more but I wasn't paying attention.

I flipped through the other pictures in a hurry. There was only one more of them together. The rest were of Granddad and Gram. Except one. It was of Elizabeth and…another man. She was kissing him on the cheek and he smiled brightly. My heart broke. I turned to the journal.

I opened Granddad's journal. The smell of dust and age hit me immediately but behind that I could smell just a bit of him too. The smell of stale tobacco and sweet smelling soap.

I flipped through the pages, immensely glad that he had marked the date on them. I flipped until I reached august. The last date in august had been on the 20th.

The next entry was in September. The 9th.

_Lizzie thinks I'm scum. I think she may be right. I feel like scum. Some part of me wants to believe that I did it for the best. She doesn't deserve me. She deserves the world and I can't give her that. But I know why I did it. I did it because I'm a coward. Her brother was right to sucker punch me. I still hate him, but I know I deserved what I got. He won't let me anywhere near Lizzie. I'm not going to fix it. I hear Lyle decided to ask her out already. She's moving on and forgetting me. I keep telling myself it's for the best but I feel like a goddamn fool. I should have left with her. I should have taken her away and married her. Now it's too late. _

That was it. That little half page of entry. He wrote only once more. He talked about how he met Gram and was going to ask her on a date. After that the pages were empty. He stopped writing after he dumped her.

Would I be like Granddad? Always hoping I would have done something differently. I would have reacted differently? I couldn't live like that. I closed the book and stood.

"Can I use your phone please?" I begged. She nodded and pulled it out her pocket

_Meet me at the library-Bella._

I sent the message to the number I couldn't forget if I tried and tugged on Rose's arm.

"C'mon you're driving me to the Library," I ordered.

"Why?"

"Cause I'm not allowed to use the car or anything else that can get me out of the house, but you could get me out," I said and we were out the house in no time.

She parked in the parking lot and I asked her to stay. She nodded and I made my way into the library. It didn't take long to get to our place. We had spent many hours here after that first meeting. I walked into the secluded bookshelf.

It was empty so I waited.

It only took about three minutes for him to come.

"Bella I was worried," he said and came closer to me. I nodded because I could see in his appearance that his words were true.

He looked as though he hadn't gotten sleep in days. His face was pale and his hair was askew. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to kiss him and rub the pale bruises beneath his eyes, but it would only weaken my resolve. I took a deep breath.

He wrapped a hand around my waist and pulled me into a hug. I didn't resist and suddenly my face was buried in the crook where his neck met his shoulder. It smelled like soap and sun and something sweet. I could never actually place that. I held him tight because I knew I wouldn't get another chance like this.

He held me tight and we didn't talk for a long while. I felt the tears slip out and before I could hold them back he pulled away feeling the dampness on his shirt. He rubbed my tears away.

"What's wrong?" he asked and stared at my face intently. I shook my head and worried my lip as I stepped back and out of his embrace. I missed the heat instantly.

"We need to talk," I said in a whisper. He stiffened.

"I don't think I want to," he said and I took a look at him. His eyes knew what was about to happen.

"Please," I said and he slid to the floor. I followed and leaned my back against the bookshelf. It was quite between us. He didn't look at me, but all I could do was stare at him. I knew I needed to do this. Some part of me didn't actually believe I would go through with it. Every time the thought had crossed my mind before I rarely acted on it. When I did it never actually happened.

This time it would.

"I'm moving. I go back to Arizona this Friday," I said forcing the words to come out. He nodded but didn't speak.

"I know I ignored you this past week, but it's been hard for me. I couldn't see you knowing that. Then granddad's funeral came into it and it just made it worse. I'm a mess. I can't think straight, I haven't eaten real food since Sunday. I don't what to do anymore. I wanted to pretend that what we have…I wanted to pretend that it wasn't real but—"

"How could you say that? I love you, Bella. Why would you ever doubt that?" he asked and his eyes lit in anger.

"I know. I know. I feel the same way, but it's so much easier not to feel. Not to know I was going to miss out on love, but it didn't work. I can't push it back. I can't forget everything that's happened between us. I was going to just leave," I said quietly.

"You weren't even going to say goodbye?" he said and I again could see the fire lit in his eyes.

"No. I felt that if I told you. If I let myself say goodbye, it would become real. Then I really wouldn't know what to do, but I just can't leave like that. I don't want you to hate me. I don't want the beautiful thing we had between us to end in a mess. It doesn't deserve to go out like that."

"It doesn't deserve to end at all!"

"No it doesn't. But it has too. I'm moving, Edward. Alice was right, we can't runaway and pretend everything's going to be okay. I want you to have a wonderful future, even if it means I'm not in it," I said and let the tears come freely. I could taste them as I spoke, but I couldn't stop them

"We can still make it work!" he was refusing to give up.

"How? What are we going to do? I don't want you to wait around for me. I want you to have fun. I need for you to move on. To find someone you can be with and not have to hide. I won't be your only love, you'll find someone else and you'll be…surprised at how easy it'll be to forget me," I choked out the words because they hurt to say.

I didn't want him to forget me, but I needed him too. I stood. He did as well.

"You don't mean any of that," he said. He was right of course, but it was the way it had to be.

"I want you to be happy," I whispered.

"_You_ make me happy," he snapped. I shook my head because he had no idea how much this hurt.

"I won't be here! I can't make you happy anymore. I don't want you to wait around for me," I shouted and then shut my mouth remembering we were in a library.

"You will always make me happy whether you're here or across the world," he said roughly and grasped my chin in his hands. His eyes were filled with desperation. I looked away and felt my body shake with a sob.

"It's better this way, Edward. We knew deep down this wouldn't work. I think we just pretended because the truth was too much to accept. I'm moving and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I don't know when or if I'll ever see you again. I can't live like that. I can't always wait. You can't either," I tried to explain. Again trying to convince myself.

"Don't…do this," he whispered and I knew he had given up the fight. I took a deep breath to steady myself. This was how it had to be.

"I'm sorry," I breathed and he looked up. There was no anger in his eyes. Only hurt.

"This is it?" he asked and I nodded feeling the teardrops fall from my chin. He took a shuddering breath. I cupped his cheek in my hand and he leaned into my touch.

"Don't hate me for this," I said. He smiled for me.

"I could never hate you," he told me and kissed my wrist softly.

We stared at each other then. This was really it. But I had done better than Granddad. Edward and I would always love each other. There would never be hate between us. Maybe someday way into the future we will find each other again. Maybe one day we could be friends. Maybe we could try again, but for now it was over.

This was our goodbye.

This was our end.

He dipped suddenly and caught my lips in his. I didn't fight it. It was soft and his lips formed around mine. It was soft and sweet. I would miss the feel of his lips on mine. His hand slid down the length of my arm to hold my hand.

He pulled away and placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Bye," he whispered and hearing the words coming from him broke my heart. I gave a firm nod.

"Bye," I said and began to walk away. Our hands lingered until finally letting go.

Leaving was the hardest thing I had ever done.

. . .  
_**Wow…a lot happened in this chapter. It was hard to write and I wanted to change it so many times, but I can't.  
Is it over? No. it's not. I'd say about one or two chapters left. Until next week peoples…  
now I'm going to study for my finals. **_

_**REVIEW‼**_

_**-T. Tanya **_


	14. Together

"I'll be waiting, wishing, wanting, yours for the taking. Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye."  
-**We the Kings**

_**EIGHT YEARS LATER**_

**Edward: **My fingers froze. The snow pelted down hard on my jacket. Some part of me told me to go home. She wasn't coming. I looked like a fool standing here. I just couldn't give up so easily though. She just had to come. The least she could do is come and tell me she didn't want this, but I guess by not coming she was already giving me that message.

I rubbed my hands together and breathed into them. They warmed but only for a few moments before the cold reached them once more. I buried my hands in my jacket and tried not shiver. The crowds passed. Some completely ignored me; others gave me a sad glance.

Alice came back with the coffee.

"I think you're stupid," she said as I greedily reached for my cups. I wrapped my frozen fingers around the warm container. Instantly the feeling began to return and blood rushed to them. I took a sip and enjoyed the scalding heat on my tongue.

"I know I should have worn gloves," I joked as a puff of white escaped my mouth. She rolled her eyes. Her small hands enclosed the cup she had and she too began to stare at the crowds.

"I don't think she's coming. We should just go home," she said with a heavy sigh. I shook my head.

"I can't just leave. I gave up too easily once before. If I do it again, I'll never be able to live with myself. I'll keep wondering if I would have stayed a little longer would she have come. The cold is worth a life time of wondering," I said sternly and took another swig.

"She told you she wasn't coming! What more does it take for you to get it through you head. Waiting here all night?"

"If that's what it takes," I said softly. She growled in frustration.

"And when she doesn't show?"

"_If_. _If_ she doesn't show. I'll go home and forget about it. I'll leave it be. I'll enjoy the memories of my first love, but I've got to be sure it's over," I whispered.

"_Tempt not a desperate man_," Alice quoted from beside me and leaned against the brick wall. I laughed a bit. The quote brought memories of all the times she quoted to be before. Whether she was trying to get a point across or simply wanting to make me laugh.

I let myself think about that for awhile. I let myself trace over every centimeter of our relationship. From the beginning to where I stood right now wondering if this would be our new beginning or simply the end. Both seemed to scare me.

The sky darkened further. The cold numbed my face and finger completely. Alice left sometime after. She mumbled an excuse but I wasn't listening. I just kept glancing at all the people hoping to catch a familiar face. She just had to come. There was too much between us to just let go.

But maybe I had waited too long. I should have done something sooner like she had accused the other day. But I didn't. Still I had a chance right now to make it right and I was going to.

I couldn't do it by myself though.

I needed here

So I waited.

_**A WEEK EARLIER**_

**Bella:** I couldn't feel my fingers. This was crazy. What was I doing here? Apparently I was in for a death wish.

"Oh in here!" Rose said and quickly dragged me into yet another store. Vera pushed me from behind leaving me completely trapped.

She seemed to know her way around pretty well. She pulled me along to the back where the dresses hung on tiny mannequins. She pulled a glittery black one and held it against my coat covered form.

"No, I don't think it suits her," Vera said softly. She was Rose's best friend. I liked her enough. She was small and the exact opposite of Rosalie. Where Rose had long wavy golden hair, Vera had short straight black hair. Vera was shy and quiet, Rose was loud and outgoing and I realized Vera was a lot like me. Maybe that's why we all got along so well.

"I think we need her bulky coat off," Rosalie said pulling at my zipper. I sighed.

"We're here to shop for Vera. Not me," I said with a stern look and they both rolled their eyes.

"It's okay to shop for someone other than me, Bella," she said in a snarky tone and I stuck my tongue out at her.

"No. Bella doesn't like shopping. It would be easier to get an elephant into a dress than her," Rosalie teased.

"I don't know whether I should be offended or agree," I said and the girls began to laugh. It didn't matter much. We continued with the shopping trip. We went to five different stores before deciding to take a lunch break.

"So I've got to say, Bella, I love your hair, I do, I just wish you would have kept it longer," Rosalie said taking a fork full of chicken and popping it into her mouth. I shrugged and ran a hand through my layered shoulder length hair.

"I needed a change," I said and took a bite of my egg roll.

"Well I think it looks lovely," Vera said with simple smile. I smiled a thanks.

"That's only because you've never seen her with long hair," Rose replied.

"I've seen pictures," Vera quipped. Rose rolled her eyes and Vera lightly pushed her shoulder.

"So where do we go after this?" Rosalie asked.

"Home, please," I begged.

"Bella, you're in Chicago for two weeks. We need to show you around," Rosalie said widening her eyes to make her sad face. It didn't work on me.

"You're the one who chose to move to this city. I prefer my warmer states," I said and began to eat my noodles.

"It's not my fault you didn't come during summer," Rose grumbled.

"Why _didn't_ you come during summer?" Vera asked.

"I wanted to be with Rose and Jasper during the holidays," I answered.

"What about your family?"

"My parents will be fine without me for one Christmas," I said and waved my hands to dismiss it.

"And Jake?" Vera asked.

"He will do fine. We're not too serious yet anyway," I said though I knew it was a lie. We were getting serious.

"That's not what I hear," Rosalie chimed. I snapped my head toward her.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well he called me before you left. Said he wanted my help in picking out a ring. He's proposing," Rosalie said with an evil glint. Vera gasped and swatted her arm.

"You're not supposed to tell her Rosie!" Vera reprimanded but I was shocked into silence.

"Propose? I… but…we've only been going out for 6 months. Isn't that too early?" I gasped.

"No. Well preferably it's a year but if you guys are in love…what's the wait?" Vera said with glittering blue eyes. I sat there in silence not sure how I felt about it.

I mean, I think I loved him. I know I loved him, but I wasn't ready for marriage. I mean it all seemed so sudden. I didn't see Jake as the guy I wanted to marry.

"I'm not sure I want this," I sputtered.

"Every girl wants that, Bella! Jake's a good guy. He loves you and treats you well. What more could you want?" Rose asked.

"I just never seen myself marrying someone like Jake," I said astonished.

"Who did you see yourself marrying?" Vera asked.

Instantly I pictured brilliant green eyes and messy copper hair. A tall lean form and a smirk that could light a dark room.

My chest pounded a bit harder and I bit back the gasp. I hadn't seen or heard from him in eight years. It was ridiculous to think of him now. I looked up to see Rose staring at me with worried eyes. As though she knew who I was thinking of.

She probably did.

"I don't know," I answered.

"Are you not happy, darling?" Vera asked with sympathetic eyes. I shook my head and managed a full blown grin.

"Are you kidding? I'm great. I'm going to get married!" I squealed and the girls laughed.

"Oh hun, you just _need_ to let me plan it!" Vera said and grasped my hand.

"Oh no! I've got dibs," Rose said pushing Vera's shoulders playfully.

"Well if you girls team up, I have no doubt my wedding will be every little girl's dream come true," I said and they shot me bright grins.

"We need to get started on the invitations."

"The food."

"The flowers."

"The dresses."

"We _need_ to let him ask the question first," I said a bit panicked. I mean I didn't need to get married exactly after he proposed. We could wait awhile. Rose again shot me one of those looks.

"So any news of the Cullen's?" Rose asked confirming my suspicion and I shook my head.

"Not really. Kate got married, to a guy named Garrett," I said and took a bite of my beef.

"Who's Kate? Sorry I only know the main family," Vera said with a soft smile.

"Kate's a cousin. Her grandmother was Cullen but got married. Which makes it easier for Kate. Her name was never Cullen so she never had to worry about it," Rosalie explained. Vera nodded. Kate's grandmother was Elizabeth. That reminded me of Granddad and again that small tug on my heart appeared.

The rivalry has pretty much stopped now. The only Swans who live in Forks are Rose's and Jazz's dad and his current wife. Rose and Jazz moved to California and then Illinois after graduation. I stayed in Arizona with my mother and father. Jake moved there too after sometime. It was shocking to find out he had lived there. Soon we began hanging out and we gave it another try.

It was easy to be around Jake. Even easier knowing I wasn't attached. It hurt to be around him because for a while it felt like I was betraying Edward, but it soon settled that we no longer had ties. He hadn't contacted me after he graduated. I waited for six years. It was my right to move on. I convinced myself that and now I had a perfectly good guy who wanted to propose to me.

I wouldn't let this dampen my mood. I was going to be happy, like I was supposed to.

I mean sure for a while I couldn't exactly grasp the fact that he and I were over, because for a long time I kept imagining him finding me and taking me away. We would live together, and get married and our families would either accept that or shun us. But we would take whatever choice in stride.

Those thoughts kept me sane for awhile, but I couldn't blame him. _I_ had broken up with him. I had told him to move on. To be happy. I told him I didn't think we had a future, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when I never heard from him, yet it still hurt.

I realized Vera and Rose were in a middle of a conversation while I sat in my thoughts.

"I'm going to the washroom," I told them. Rose nodded and I left without being missed.

I took my time. Rose and Vera could easily forget the world around them as spoke to each other. I was glad Rosalie had found a friend here. She never made me feel like a third wheel, but sometimes the feeling crept up without permission.

I walked out of the washroom and something caught my eyes from the large windows. A flash of red copper hair. I looked closer.

It couldn't be…

I walked toward the exit quickly and was hit a rush of cold air. The wind stung and my eyes began to water, but I didn't let it distract me. Quickly I walked toward the side of the building where I had seen him turn.

I could see him in the crowd. He stood at the corner talking on the phone waiting for the light to change. A smile came over my face because there was no doubting it.

It was him.

"Edward!" I called loudly. He didn't turn so I began to run. The light turned yellow and I picked up my pace. He hung up the phone and I called again.

"Edward!" I yelled and he turned his head. The light changed to green, but he didn't move. The crowd around him disappeared across the street and he spotted me. I stopped when I reached the curve and smiled at him.

He glanced down at me with confused eyes.

"Um…" he trailed off awkwardly.

"You don't recognize me?" I asked with saddened eyes.

"I'm sorry, I…" he trailed off as he glanced at the street to see he had missed his chance to cross. His shoulders tensed and I knew he didn't want to be here. Cars zoomed by and then he looked at me again.

His eyes widened.

"Bella!" he exclaimed and I nodded with a smile. A large bright smile over took his face. It made my knees weak.

I guess in all honestly I should have expected it, but I didn't. He wrapped his arms around me and I was met with heat. His scent drifted around me and I was lost in it. I hugged him back. I didn't think I would see him again.

He pulled away after a second. His brow scrunched as he looked me over.

"Where's your coat?" he asked and I realized I had stepped out into the cold without it. I wrapped my arms around me.

"It's at the restaurant. I was having lunch with Rosalie and I just happened to see you past. I didn't want to miss the chance to say…hi," I said lamely and a light blush decorated my cheeks. He chuckled and a small pang of hurt went straight to my heart because I had missed him terribly.

"Wow…I… you look amazing. You changed your hair," he said and gently grabbed a strand of my brown locks. I smiled.

"Yeah," I said with a smile.

The cold was getting to me, but I didn't want to say goodbye.

"I should get back," I said and rubbed my arms hoping to create warmth with the friction.

"Could I get your number? We should catch up," he said and I smiled again.

"I would really like that. Can I see your phone?" I asked and he handed it over quickly. I dialed my number into it and saved it. I handed it back.

"It was really nice to see you," I said and began to walk back. He nodded and waved as I turned to run back to the small Chinese restaurant.

…

"You should call him," Rosalie said as she flipped through the channels on her TV. I sat on the love seat. The phone in my hands.

"I don't have his number," I mumbled.

"Well that was mighty stupid don't you think?" she asked and I shook my head.

"I wasn't really thinking at the time. God, Rose he looked amazing. Had he always looked that good," I said reminiscing on our earlier encounter. Rosalie laughed lightly and put the television on mute as she stared at me.

"Time can do a lot of things, but I'm pretty sure he was always pretty cute," she said and I sighed.

"I shouldn't have said that. Gosh, I have an almost fiancé. What is wrong with me!" I said and lay back onto the couch. My feet swung over the arm rest.

"There's nothing wrong with noticing a cute guy. Beside he was special to you. He was your first love," she said.

"He was a lot of my first," I said thinking back and instantly a blush heated my cheeks. She laughed harder.

"You're 25 years old Bella. You shouldn't blush about it," she said and gently smacked my leg. I sighed as I rubbed my hand down my face. We had shared less than a hundred words and yet I couldn't get them out of my head. I hadn't felt this way since…well since the last time I was around him.

"It just doesn't feel right thinking about him like this," I said exasperated.

"Had your relationship ever felt right?" she asked. I shook my head.

Then my phone rang. I sat up and stared at it. It was an unfamiliar number.

"I think it's him," I whispered.

"Well answer it!"

"I don't know what to say!"

"Try: Hello!" she shouted and I stared at the phone as it started its third ring.

"I thought you waited a day before calling someone," I said in shock.

"That's when you're dating. Just answer the damn phone," she growled and then took the phone out my hands, flipped it open, and placed it at my ear.

I swallowed.

"Hello?" I said. I took the phone and she sat back staring at me.

"Bella?" he said on the other end. I nodded.

Rose smacked her head and I realized I was on a phone. Duh.

"Uh, yeah. Edward?" I asked confirming it.

"Yeah, I hope I didn't call at a bad time," he apologized and I could imagine him running his fingers through his messy hair. Again a pang of hurt came as all on the memories of the late night conversations with him ran through my head.

"No, not at all. I was um just talking with Rose," I said and stared at her. She was flipping through the channels, but I could tell I had her full attention.

"Oh okay. Well I was wondering if you weren't too busy tomorrow you might want to get a coffee," he asked nervously. I smiled.

"Sure, what time?" I asked and we shared the details of the meeting and then we hung up. It was simple and brief. Rose shut the TV and stared at me.

"I don't know where this is," I said looking at the paper on the coffee table with an address I had scribbled.

"I do. I'll drive you," she said with a wide smile. I nodded and shook my head.

"I can't go. I have Jake to think of Rosie, I just can't pretend we can go back to normal," I said and began to scrunch the paper. She stole it from my hands and soothed it out.

"Bella, you have a chance to…become friends. I think that's worth it. End this rivalry for good. If you're friends with him, then your kids will be too," she said and I felt hurt thinking of Edward with someone else. Even more saddened thinking of him having a family.

"This feels too weird," I said.

"Bella, you love Jake. You haven't seen, Edward in seven years. Feelings fade and eventually go away. He probably doesn't even see you like that anymore. I mean, you don't see him that way do you?" she asked and I quickly shook my head.

"No. I don't even know him anymore," I sighed.

"Exactly. You have nothing to worry about," she assured me with a radiant smile.

_Nothing to worry about_.

. . .

Had he changed his mind? That could have been a very real possibility. He could have decided that it wasn't worth it. I was just a girl in his past why should he care? I was just a stupid mistake.

All of these things could have crossed his mind.

I sat on the high stool and played with my cup of coffee. Maybe I was too early, but hadn't he said twelve.

Maybe I should stop sweating it. He was only late by 15 minutes.

I would wait a half hour, if he didn't show I'd call Rose and have her pick me up. I'd label it a lost cause. At least _I_ tried to reconnect.

But who was he to not come. I mean it was _him_ who had called _me_. It was _him_ who had scheduled this meeting. Why should I be stood up?

"Hey," he said with a smile and I snapped my head up. Instantly my anger was gone and a lazy smile came over my face. He placed down a batch of cookies in front of me and sat. He began to shrug out of his coat.

His hair was windblown and his cheeks were pink from the weather.

"Chocolate chip, right?" he asked and it took me a minute to realize what he was talking about. Looking down at the basket I realized he meant the cookies. They were pretty normal sized cookies, except I could see the steam coming off them and the chocolate looked just melted. I grabbed one and bit.

They were delicious.

"Mmm, yes. It's nice of you to remember," I said and finished the cookie. He laughed and began to drink his coffee.

"I have an elephant's memory. It's hard for me to forget," he said. I looked away.

"So…um what brings you to Chicago?" I asked.

"Oh, an internship, I'm not sure if I'm staying but it would be nice if I got it," he said and shrugged his shoulders.

"You really did it huh?" I asked.

"Did what?"

"Become a doctor?"

"Oh. Yeah I guess I did. I mean I always seen myself becoming one. How about you? What do you do?" he asked.

"I'm a teacher. First graders," I said and he laughed.

"I thought you didn't like kids," he said and I shrugged.

"My mother was a substitute for kindergarten classes after we returned to Arizona. She loved it. She would come home tired, but she never hated going to work. I wanted that," I said and he smiled.

"So I guess Miss Swan is very popular," he said and I gave him a cheesy grin.

"You better believe it. I'm the damn best teacher that school has ever had," I said and he laughed.

"I wouldn't doubt it. So…have any kids of your own?" he asked and his shoulders tensed. I coughed awkwardly. I hadn't expected that.

"Why do you?" I had to admit the thought had never crossed my mind. He shook his head and I was surprised on how much of a relief that was.

"No. No I haven't really settled down," he said and shrugged his shoulders.

"No I don't have children. But it would be nice to have my own first grader running around the house one day," I said with a beam.

"I would imagine. So you seeing someone then?" he asked but he seemed to already know.

"Why don't you tell me?" I challenged. He laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Seth tells me you're dating Jacob Black," he admitted and I swallowed hard. He looked almost hurt and I actually wished I could tell him I wasn't. But that wasn't the truth.

"Yes, I am," I said leaned back in my chair while taking another cookie.

"So how did that happen?" he asked shamelessly and popped a cookie into his mouth.

"It was actually after I started working at the Elementary. He was a mechanic for our buses and I spotted him one day. We began talking. We were friends for a year before he asked me out on a date. I accepted and things just sort of built on from then," I said taking a drink of my coffee.

"Well I hope things work out for you," he said and gave a forced grin. I laughed loudly.

"No, you don't. You still don't like him," I said after my giggles had calmed down. He chuckled.

"No, I don't like him, but I want you to be happy," he said. There was a smile in his eyes and I knew he meant it.

"Thank you," I said and a calm quiet came between us. It felt like before when we would take long drives because we couldn't stop anywhere for fear of someone seeing us. We would run out of things to say and yet there was never an awkward silence because we could just enjoy being together.

It was like that and it hurt to think of the memories because I wanted them back. I wanted to go back, because I still loved him. I always would. But I loved a different Edward. He was not that same person, just like I wasn't the same Bella.

He cleared his throat.

"So what about you? Why are you in Chicago?" he asked and sipped at his coffee looking at me through his dark eyelashes.

"Um…vacation. I'm here with Rose for the holidays. Jasper too, I guess," I said and he shrugged.

"I didn't know Rosalie lived here," he mused. I nodded.

"Yeah. I don't think I like it here too much," I said and scrunched my nose.

"Why is that?" he asked.

"It's too…cold. I got enough of that in Forks," I said and realized I might have gone a bit too far. I don't think either one of us was ready to talk about the past right now.

"That's right. You wanted to live somewhere in Hawaii," he said with a grin not letting the statement bother him. I laughed because this was easy, however much it might hurt. Talking with him was simple and there was no anger between us.

"Or North Carolina. I hear it's lovely there," I teased and took another drink of my coffee.

"I've been there. It's actually very beautiful. I think the coldest it gets out there is about…a Chicago's autumn weather," he said and I gasped.

"Is it? Oh then it's settled. I might just move there," I said and he chuckled.

"I'm glad I could help."

"Well that's always been one of your better qualities."

"As opposed to my bad ones?" he asked.

"You act like you don't have any."

"I like to believe I don't."

"Well someone needs a cup of reality. Should I order one or do you want to get it?" I mocked and he only gave me his crooked smile.

"Name one," he said. I thought for a moment.

"You Mr. Cullen are a perfectionist," I said with a triumphant grin.

"Oh am I now?" he said with mock shock. I laughed at his expression.

"Well you're not so perfect Miss Swan and I settled for you," he said and I gasped. I could tell by his eyes that he was joking and the comment didn't hurt only made me want to tease him more.

"Oh really? Name my flaws," I challenged.

"I don't think we would have enough time to name all of them," he joked and I laughed.

"Name the ones off the top of your head," I said and he gave me an evil smirk.

"You lose things almost all the time. You don't admit it, but I think you're a neat freak, and you have a hard time with staying in the real world," he said without missing a beat and took a swig of his coffee.

"Wouldn't being a neat freak and losing things be a contradiction to each other?" I asked.

"I supposed, but I'm assuming it's just another one of your flaws," he said and I laughed again. I was glad to know that even though he had known a form of me seven years ago he still knew part of me today. I did lose things way too much and I did clean a bit too often.

Another comfortable quiet was laid on top of us. Both of us lost in our individual thoughts.

"So are you done?" he asked breaking the silence after a moment. I shook my container. There was very little coffee. I drank the rest of it and nodded.

"Yeah I am," I said.

"You want to catch a movie?" he asked and I nodded. We had never gone to a theater together before and it felt wrong because we should have experienced things like that. We were a couple and normal couples went to movies and diners and coffee shops. But we never did.

"Yeah, okay," I agreed and we were off. We talked in the car about silly things. We talked about new books we had read, bands that had caught our interest, or television shows we enjoyed. We talked about school. About our families.

Alice was now an interior designer. She was married. She lived in Chicago, which was why Edward wanted the internship.

Emmett was in construction. He was dating but swore he would never settle down. He still lived in Forks.

I told him how Rose had got into fashion. She was working for a small company now, but people were seeing her talent. She tinkered with cars and worked as a mechanic as a side job.

Jasper had gone into law. He moved out of Forks against his will but unwilling to let Rose go out of state. He eventually met a girl was currently engaged.

I told him how I still lived in Phoenix. I liked it there.

When we got to the movie theater we decided to watch a comedy. It was nice to sit at a movie theater, laughing together and sharing popcorn. When we left it was dark outside.

"Well that was fun," I said with a smile as we stepped out. He laughed.

"I'm glad. I would hate for you to be in a hurry to get home," he said and I only laughed.

"You know, I don't think I've ever felt like that with you," I admitted. He stopped just outside the steps to the theater.

"I don't believe that," he said and I nodded. His face was illuminated by the bright red and yellow lights of the signs.

"It's true," I admitted and leaned against the railing.

"How about the time when you had just found out about me being a Cullen," he challenged. I bit my lip. I had never told him this.

"Even then the only reason I wanted to get away was because I wanted to get closer. It was scary," I reveled. He smiled slowly.

"I didn't know that," he said.

"I never told you," I responded. It was quiet and I recognized the song playing on the speakers of the theater. I smiled.

"This was our first dance," I said with a bright smile. He listened and laughed.

"Well it would be plain bad luck if we didn't dance it now," he said and held out his hand.

"We can't dance here," I said shocked.

"Why not?"

"People can see, it's strange."

"So, let them. We don't have to hide anything," he said. I bit my lip hard before taking his hand. There were only a few people coming in and out of the entrance anyway. It could have been because we left out the back entrance.

He pulled me close and we twirled to the music. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled up at him.

It felt so intimate. To dance with him to this song in front of the movies. It felt nice. Right.

I laughed softly but didn't speak much.

"See, not weird?" he breathed into my ear. Another giggle.

No it wasn't weird. It felt natural. Too natural and I knew Rose was wrong.

This was definitely something to worry about.

. . .

_**Okay, so the next chapter we'll figure out what's up with the whole little Edward POV and see what's going on there. **_

_**I decided that on account of my last day of school being yesterday I would post this chapter a day early! :) So please review and I might surprise you by giving the next chapter early too. **_

_**But if not then expect the next Chapter Saturday. June 5**__**th**__**. **_

_**Review! **_

_**-T. Tanya**_


	15. Temptation

"Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can't help falling in love with you?"  
**-Elvis Presley**

**Bella:** In my dreams I was sitting alone in a living room. I was curled on the sofa reading a book. The words were blurry and I could not completely understand what I was reading, but it didn't stop me. It was getting dark and I waiting for something or someone. I didn't know exactly except I did only I couldn't remember. That was confusing.

But suddenly out of nowhere a small boy came running into the living room. He had a mess of curly brown hair on his face. He was pale like me and had a huge grin on his face. I knew this boy and as soon as I saw him I smiled. I closed the book and he climbed into my lap.

I nuzzled his neck. He stared at me with bright green eyes and I kissed his cheek lovingly.

Then Edward came into the room. I smiled and let the boy go. He ran to Edward and effortlessly Edward picked him up and tossed him into the air. I laughed as I stared at them. Edward came near me and pecked my cheek.

I turned my head and allowed him to kiss me softly. When he pulled back however it was no longer Edward, but Jacob. I gasped suddenly and stared at the boy. He was no longer the pale boy. His eyes were a deep dark brown and his skin was tan exactly like Jake's.

I awoke in a cold sweat. When I stared at the clock it informed me it was 6:30 in the morning. My heart thudded heavily behind my chest. I didn't move. My room was still completely dark but I knew the sky was lightening. I felt moisture in my eyes but I couldn't explain why.

The dream wasn't necessarily bad. Jacob was going to propose to me after all. Children would be a part of that eventually right? I mean why shouldn't I have had a dream of our future life together? Why should it make me sad?

Edward was the one who shouldn't have been in it. He should be the one I was awakening from in fright and disappointment, right?

I sat up slowly and wiped my cheeks. I hadn't been aware of the tears that had slipped out. Why was this so confusing? I was in love with Jake. I didn't doubt that. He had been nothing but absolutely perfect to me. My parents loved him.

He was everything I was supposed to want in a guy and I had been happy with our relationship.

Then Edward comes and just ruins it all for me. I. And yes I had to admit that it was wonderful seeing him and being around him, but he was still a stranger to me. He was a whole new person.

I picked the phone off the light stand and called him. I leaned against my head bored as I listened to the rings.

"Hello?" he greeted. His voice was gruff.

"Hey." I whispered.

"Bella? Are you alright?" he asked with a bit of panic in his voice. I smiled though I knew he couldn't see.

"I'm fine, I just wanted to talk," I informed.

"Talk? At 4:30 in the morning?" he asked and I thumped my head.

"I'm sorry. I completely forgot about the time difference. It didn't even occur. If you want to get back to sleep I'll get off," I apologized. He chuckled.

"Don't worry about it, baby. I'd have to get up in an hour anyway," Jake joked and I laughed. I slowly sank back into bed and stared at the ceiling.

"I am sorry."

"It's okay. Tell me what's on your thoughts," he said.

"I'm not ready for kids," I blurted.

"Um…okay," he stretched the sentence and I swallowed.

"I just…I'm sorry," because I obviously wasn't right before my daily cup of coffee.

"Is there…was there a reason you brought it up?"

"I had a dream," I admitted.

"Okay. You want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really. I mean…I think you look great with kids, but I'm just not ready," I confessed. I could practically see his lazy grin spread across his face.

"Well…um thanks. I'm sure you'll look even better with them. As a matter of fact I know you do, but it's something we'll talk about when you're ready," he said and I smiled.

"Thanks," I said.

"But um just for future reference. Is it something you'd…want to talk about?" he asked nervously.

"Well…yeah I guess. I mean I deal with kids all the time. I like them, but I think maybe it's because I don't deal with them all the time you know," I explained and he laughed.

"No you only have them about eight hours a day for five days of the week," he quipped and I laughed at his teasing.

"Well yeah, but once the year is over they get older and it's up to their parents and other teachers. I just get a new batch and do my best at being their favorite," I joked and I could almost see the smile come over his face again.

"If you're worried about whether or not you'll be a good mom, I know you'll be the best. You're kind and sweet and beautiful. You're perfect," he said and I could feel the heat in my cheeks.

"Thanks. I needed to hear that," I said because I needed a reminder why I loved him. I was horrible, I think I had established that already. There was no denying it.

"Anytime. Well I think I'm going to take your offer on the sleep and see what I can get before the alarm goes off. I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I whispered.

"Bye."

"Bye," I said and hung up the phone. I place it back on the night stand and stared at the ceiling.

Sleep came again and this time the dreams were simple.

. . .

"But you could only pick one," I said and took a bite of my ice cream.

"Why?" he asked and plucked the cherry from my Sundae and popped it into his mouth.

"Because they're my rules and I say so," I argued and took the cherry he had on the side of his bowl.

"I was saving that?" he falsely scolded. I shrugged and pulled the stem out of my mouth as I ate the fruit.

"Answer my question," I said and he sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I'd want intelligence," he stated.

"Mmm why?" I said through a mouth full of ice cream.

"Because you could go so much further if you're smart. I could be the next Bill Gates," he said.

"So it wouldn't bother you that you would be horrendously ugly?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Well I'd rather be that, than extremely beautiful and utterly stupid," he said and I laughed.

"What would you chose?"

"I don't know. I'd rather be smart, but things are different for woman. It's our job to be beautiful," I said and sighed heavily. He laughed this time and I blushed sounding a bit vain. But hey I was tired of always being the plain Jane.

"I think you should go for the beauty. Then you'd be beautiful enough for me and I'd be smart enough for you. The perfect pair," he said and shot me one of his half smirks. The one I had labeled as mine so many years ago.

"Why Mr. Cullen are you flirting with me?" I asked playing shocked.

"Of course not Miss Swan, I'm not one for taboo relationships," he teased and ate a spoonful of ice cream. I smiled knowingly at him.

"Oh and why is that?" I asked crossing my legs underneath the table.

"There is simply too much drama," he joked but I knew there was truth behind his statement. Our playful banter stopped and I began to mix the sundae I had ordered around in my bowl.

"We're going to freeze as soon as we go out," he said staring at the bowl that was partially finished.

"But it would be worth it. It's never—"

"Too cold for ice cream. I know, I know," he said and I smiled. We ate in silence for awhile.

I knew I shouldn't have agreed to going out for lunch but my oh so lovely cousin didn't help much when she decided not to stop me and instead encourage me. I knew the more time I spent with Edward; the more I got to know him, the more it was easier to let my guard down.

I was learning more and more about him and I found that I liked this newer older Edward just as much as I liked his younger self.

"So where are you spending Christmas?" I asked about the holiday only four days away.

"With Alice of course. She went to out and bought a real tree. Her house looks lovely," he said and I smiled.

"I bet it would. She always had a lot of energy," I said and looked down at my almost finished sundae.

"God she must hate me," I whispered.

"Why would you think that?"

"Why wouldn't I think that? The way I left things I..."

"You handled it the best you thought possible. I'm not angry at you Bella. I never was," he said and lifted my chin so I was looking into his eyes. They were sincere and I knew he was telling me the truth.

"Okay," I said because I don't think I was ready to have this conversation. I dropped my spoon and bushed my bowl away and then plastered a smile on my face.

"I'm done," I said.

"Yeah, I think I am too," he said and as though she was called the waitress came to our table.

"All finished?" she asked and Edward nodded. She gave us the bill.

"I got it," he said stopping me from reaching for my wallet.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. I invited you out. Next time it's your turn," he teased and shot a smile my way. I smiled back and let him pay.

We stood up and walked out the small ice cream shop.

"So do you need a ride home?" he asked and I stared at me feet.

"Are you offering?"

"Are you taking it?" he shot back and I laughed.

"Okay, sure," I said and he smiled. As we walked to the parking lot I stared at the mounds of snow. Edward had gone on ahead of me, but I had an idea. I picked up a handful of snow and started to pack it. I was glad when it packed easily.

Hoping it wouldn't miss I threw it at Edward's back and laughed when it hit him in the shoulder. He turned quickly and smiled. He was already at the car. He took a handful from the roof and tossed it at me. I ducked my head, but it still got my side. I yelped in fright.

"Hey, that's not nice," I said.

"Well no one told you to throw one at me," he joked.

"I just simply had too. The temptation was far too great," I said and he packed another snowball.

"Oh?"

He tossed it at me but I ran to the side of the lot. It missed, but my foot caught onto something and I tripped into the mountain of snow. I sat there for a while trying to calm my laughter.

Edward came near me.

"I see you're as klutzy as ever," he stated. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"C'mon I'll help you up," he said offered me his hand.

I took it, but as he started to pull me up, I realized we were both standing in ice. My legs began to wobble and I clung to him.

"Whoa," I gasped as we held me up. My feet were anything but steady.

"I think we're on ice," he said staring down at the snow covered parking lot.

"Thank you captain obvious," I said and tried to steady my feet. Only this time one of my legs came in-between his making his feet wobble. I steadied myself only for him to slip and grab onto me.

I laughed loudly.

"I fail to see the amusement," he grumbled which made me laugh harder.

"Now who's clumsy," I said holding tight to his frame as he regained his height and looked down on me.

"Everyone's clumsy on ice," he told me and I raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever you say. Are you steady?" I asked so I could release him, though I kind of liked our position.

"Yeah, I'm okay, you?" he asked because he was holding me just as tightly. I nodded. I pulled away from him too quickly and my footing was lost. He grabbed onto me again, but I was too far from saving. He slipped backward and brought me on top of him.

The laughter was immediate.

"Are you okay?" he asked between hard breaths.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said and stared down at him because I was lying on top of him on a mountain of snow in a parking lot.

"This never would have happened had you been able to resist temptation," he whispered.

"Temptation," I breathed forgetting our topic and slowly tracing my eyes down every part of his face. I stopped at his lips. I wanted to kiss him.

"Yeah," he agreed.

_Get up, Bella! Get up! Get up! Get up!_ I told myself. Instead I seemed to ignore my rational side and lean in just a bit closer. Our breathing picked up. Man, did I _really_ want to kiss him.

A phone rang loudly stopping us from whatever was about to transpire. I scrambled off of him quickly and he stood. He had white flurries of snow on his bright red hair. He reached into his pocket and picked up his phone.

"Hello?" he answered and cleared his throat. Slowly I stood and stepped away from the ice. When I knew I was safe I walked toward his car. He followed a few moments after. The car beeped twice and I opened it. I waited for him inside his car.

It wasn't his silver Volvo. But I was surprised how it smelled just like it. Like leather and mint and him. I relaxed in the chair and clicked my seat belt as I waited for him.

The driver side door opened a moment later and he sat. He placed his phone in his pocket and started the car. He sat back and let the car warm up.

"Who was it?" I asked causally. I realized after I said it that it made me seem nosy. I was simply just use to asking who had called that I didn't think anything of it.

"Alice. She wanted to know when I was coming home," he asked.

"You stay with her?" I asked not knowing this.

"Well it's only temporary of course. If I get the internship I'll begin to look for an apartment. But if I don't its back to Forks," he sighed and rubbed his neck.

"You don't want to go back?" I questioned.

"Not really. I mean I'm pretty much set there though. Carlisle being their best doctor and everything, but I really want to get out that town. I mean returning after my schooling was…I don't know, disappointing," he said and I listened because I knew what he meant. There were _few_ reasons why I enjoyed Forks. Ross and Jazz being one and him being the other.

"What are you…like what kind of doctor are you studying to be?" I asked not really sure how to phrase the question. He laughed at me but answered.

"Pediatrician. I like kids," he joked and I smiled.

"Even if their nose picking first graders?" I joked.

"Of course. They're my favorite," he said and I laughed.

"So…where too?" he asked and I ranted Rose's address.

It was silent for awhile. I stared out the window.

"So Alice wanted me to ask if you wanted to come over tomorrow. For dinner," he asked nervously and ran a hand through his hair.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

Wow. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to go, but I knew this was a bad idea. I had already let myself slip today. Being with Edward was so simple and easy but we couldn't return to what we were. Who we were no matter how badly I wish we could.

I had messed that up a long time ago. I had to accept that, but spending time with him like this was not helping.

"Um…yeah ok," I said despite the fact that a huge part of me was telling me to do the exact opposite. The smile that lit his face however quickly shut that part up. I smiled in return.

"She really wants to see you again. She's really not angry at you," he said and I gave a shrug.

"I really want to see her again too," I said and he beamed.

We drove chatting about unimportant things. How I liked my job. New restaurants that have popped up. I told him a bit more about Rosie and about a book I was reading.

I didn't even notice when we started to pull into Rosie's street.

"So which one?" he asked as the car slowed to a crawl.

"The second to last," I said pointing to the end of the block. He sped the car up and then stopped in front of the apartment.

"Well thanks for the ride," I said and he smiled.

"I forgot how fun it was being with you," he said and I blushed heavily. I placed my hand on the door knob, but I felt reluctant to leave. It was like that feeling when you knew you had to tell someone something but couldn't remember what.

"Me too. But I guess I'll see you tomorrow. What time?" I asked as I opened the door.

"Does four sound good to you?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, that's perfect. Well bye," I said and opened the door.

"Bye," he replied and I slid out the car. He waited until I walked into the building. I climbed the first flight of stairs quickly and walked into the house. Rose looked up when I entered.

"Hey how was lunch?" she asked and I smiled.

"It was great," I said and she stared at me. I walked past her to the window. The car was still out there. I waved to him and he drove off.

_Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow_…

"What?" Rose asked and I spun quickly.

"Huh?

"What did you say?" she said and I realized I had quoted the line out loud. I blushed heavily and shook my head.

"Talking to myself," I muttered and began to take off my jacket.

"3 hours is a pretty long lunch date," she said flipping the page of her magazine.

"Seriously?" I asked. I looked at my wrist.

It was 3. Edward had picked me up at 12. Wow.

"I didn't realize I'm sorry," I said finally pulling out of my coat and placing it in the closet. She shrugged.

"It's fine," she said but her face told another story.

"I'm going to go shower. Try to warm myself up," I said and she nodded. I had done nothing wrong so I didn't know what she was trying to push guilt on me.

We were just friends after all.

. . .

"What time is he coming?" she asked flopping down on top of her bed.

"Four," I mumbled as I twirled part of my hair and held it back with a small barrette. I combed through my hair quickly and fluffed it.

"How long are you staying?"

"Not long, I don't think. It's just dinner," I said and she sighed.

"You're falling for him," she said I spun on her. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be stupid. I'm doing what you told me. We're reconnecting," I said and turned to sit on the bed with her.

"Okay Bella. Say what you want, I know what I see," she said and laid back.

I rolled my eyes and walked out toward the kitchen. My phone rang and I rushed to get it.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey. What's new?" Jake asked on the other line. I laughed a bit in shock.

"Hey I wasn't expecting hearing from you."

"Sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me," he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well Rose has a webcam and I wanted to see you. I guess it would be dinner for you, but a meal is a meal right." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"That's sounds really great," I said.

"But…"

"Huh?"

"Well that sentenced sounded like you were going to add a but," he explained. I should cancel with Edward and tell Jake that I would have lunch or dinner or whatever with him, but… I didn't want to cancel.

"It's just…that I have plans with Rose," I lied and felt the heat on my cheeks. Thank god he couldn't see.

"Oh…well maybe tomorrow," he said defeated. I felt guilty.

"Yes I promise. I really want to see you too, but we were going out and I just…I feel bad canceling on her," I lied and surprised myself on how easy it came out. I bit my lip.

"Well okay. I understand. I have you all year anyway. I would feel bad taking you away from your cousin," he said and I smiled. I loved that about him. He was always understanding.

The doorbell rang and I knew who was there.

"Thanks. I have to go now," I said.

"Okay. I love you."

"Me too. Bye."

"Bye." He hung up and I shut my phone. I stared at it. What in the world was I doing?

The door bell rang again.

"You going to get that?" Rose asked from behind me and I jumped.

"Shit Rose! How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know that we have plans to go out to eat," she smirked evilly and I flicked her off.

"Oh whatever! I can't tell him I'm going with Edward," I said and reached for my jacket.

"Why not? I thought you guys we're just friends?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We are," I said and slid an arm in my jacket.

"So why can't you tell him?" she asked as I walked near the intercom.

"I'll be right down," I informed him and let go of the button while putting my other arm through.

"Because he'll over think it and probably tell Charlie and that would start unnecessary trouble," I informed her. I pulled my hair out of the coat and zipped up.

"Right…" she said dragging the word out.

"If he calls again will you cover for me?" I asked.

"Sure I mean we wouldn't want to start unnecessary problems," she said and walked over to the sofa.

"You're impossible," I grunted and swung the door open.

"Don't I know it!" she said and I closed the door on her. I rested against the door for a moment taking a deep breath and clearing my head. I was allowed to reconnect with a friend. Even if he was an ex. And my first love. And still incredibly handsome.

I was okay to do this. I could do this.

I climbed down the stairs and was surprised when I found him waiting at the bottom. I jumped a bit but smiled.

"I thought you would go back to the car," I informed him as he opened the door. I walked out and he followed behind me.

"That would be rude."

"I wouldn't have cared."

"I would. You look lovely by the way," he said as we approached the car and again he opened the door.

I slid in.

"You haven't even seen my outfit," I quipped.

"It doesn't matter. You always look lovely," he said and I blushed heavily. He closed the door and went around to his side.

"I missed your blush," he said and started the car. He pulled out of his parking space and began to drive.

"I remember you told me it bothered you," I said with a laugh.

"That was before I never saw it again," he blurted and a silence came between us. This was the first awkward silence that had settled between us since I had seen him on the curb. Heat rushed to my cheeks making my ear burn. I didn't know how to respond. An immediate guilt came over me, along with a bit of indignation and sorrow.

He cleared his throat and shot a smile making me forget everything and evaporating the tension.

"So I hope you're ready. Alice hasn't changed since you last saw her," he teased and I laughed.

Alice I was ready for.

What was happening between us?

Not so much.

. . .

_**You know what sucks? Mosquito bites.  
You know what sucks worse? Mosquito bites in places you can't reach. Like your back.  
Know what makes it bearable? Reviews!**_

_**Okay so I admit. I lied. I said we would figure out what Edward was talking about…but I had a problem. It got like super long. So long in fact that I was able to split it and come up with 2 chapters. :) So the good news is that it is partially finished. **_

_**Now I surprised my reviewers with a sneak peek last chapter and I might do it again, but I'm not promising anything. I'm sorry I couldn't publish this earlier, but things got in the way and I was actually very lucky my main computer decided to work today or else it would have been a late update! :O **_

_**If I don't publish the next chapter early and if my computer decides to stop malfunctioning expect an update on Saturday. June 12, 2010. **_

_**Review!**_

_**T-Tanya**_


	16. Regret

"People so seldom say I love you and then it's either too later or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean I know you'll never go. Only that I wish you didn't have to."  
- **Anonymous **

**Bella**: The drive wasn't long. The silence was only broken by small comments. Whether it was about the weather or the song currently on the radio or even how we looked. As we drove closer to her house I suddenly lost my confidence. I was nervous about seeing Alice again.

Edward could say what he wanted, but somehow I didn't think Alice would be so forgiving. I knew we were both broken hearted when I left and I had done exactly what she warned me against. I had hurt him.

"You seem nervous," he chuckled as we pulled into a very nice looking house's drive way. It was a white two story family home. Snow covered the front lawn and the windows and roof and porch was covered in simply glowing lights. A small lit tree was placed in the front lawn and a wreath was placed on the door. I almost expected to see a white picket fence around it and something told me, that it wasn't really the home I pictured for the vibrant out going Alice I had once known.

"Wow, it's beautiful, but…"

"Well the inside she got control of," he said and I laughed. He parked and exited the car. He came around and opened the door for me. I smiled and we began walking toward the house.

Maybe I should have stood home and had dinner with Jake. It was sweet that he wanted to do something like that and I was here with another guy. Having dinner with his family. I was absolutely horrible.

The door opened before Edward could insert his key. A small girl with dazzlingly bright blonde hair opened the door. Her eyes were piercing blue and her cheeks were round. She smiled.

"Eddie!" she screeched and I laughed as Edward picked up the small girl and entered the home. I followed behind him and walked into a large living room. The television was on and playing a cartoon show I did not recognize.

As I looked around I soon found that it did look like Alice's work. Everything seemed stylish and a bit out there but fit into the house perfectly. It was like looking at a puzzle. Everything went together so well.

On top of the already stylish house, everything was fashioned for Christmas. Stockings hung on the fire place. A real tree was placed in the corner decorated in lights and matching decoration.

"I told you it was _Uncle_ Eddie, Cindy!" Alice said wiping her hands on a dish towel as she came out of the kitchen which seemed to be in the hall that went a little beyond the living room.

"I was under the impression that my name was Edward," Edward joked and placed the small child down. She then seemed to take notice of me.

"Who she?" she asked pointing a small finger at me.

"This is my friend, Bella," Edward said. I smiled.

"Hi."

The small girl seemed suddenly shy. She dipped her head and allowed her blonde hair to fall into her face. I knelt down in front of her and smiled gently.

"What's your name?" I asked even though I had heard Alice call her Cindy.

"Cindy. I'm four!" she said holding up her fingers to show me. I gasped.

"Wow! You're such a big girl. Do you go to school next year?" I asked with enthusiasm.

"Yep. Yep. Yep!" she said excitedly bouncing her head.

"Oh are you scared?"

"Uh…" she didn't know how to answer. She placed her index finger on her chin and furrowed her brow thinking it over. I laughed softly.

"School is a lot of fun. You learn a lot of things," I said and she gave me a toothy grin.

"Like the ABC's?" she screeched in delight and I nodded my head.

Edward laughed and I stood up. Alice came in smiling and patting the small girl's head.

"Hey, Bella," she said and I smiled. The girl bounced into the living room and took a seat in front of the television. Alice began to walk back to the kitchen. Edward took off his jacket and went toward the small door in the corner of the room. He placed his jacket in and turned to me. Quickly I shrugged out of my coat and handed it to him.

"Thank you," I said and he shot me a grin.

He placed my coat in the closet and turned toward me. He placed a hand on my back and pushed me gently toward the kitchen.

I followed a bit reluctantly. Alice was standing at the island chopping tomatoes. She smiled when we walked in.

"Cindy can't say Edward," Alice said pointing her knife at him. He laughed and took a seat at the kitchen table. I followed and took the one across from him.

"She's the only person I'll allow to call me Eddie," Edward said with another bright beam.

"Well, I still wish you would enforce _Uncle_ Eddie. If you don't do it now, she'll never get use to it," Alice warned. He shrugged and she huffed as she turned her attention to me.

"Have any kids, Bella?" She asked with a bright smile.

"Yes. About 30 of them each year," I joked and Edward chuckled. Alice raised an eyebrow in question.

"Bella's a first grade teacher," he informed her.

"Oh, wow! No wonder you were so good with Cindy! It took me about 3 dates to get her to even smile at me," Alice said and I stared at her confused. Was Cindy not hers?

That would explain why the small child didn't look at all like Alice.

"Cindy is Joe's kid. Joe is Alice's husband," Edward said and I nodded.

"Which you will have the lovely pleasure of meeting, when he gets home," she said sarcastically. I laughed.

"I won't be offended if you decide you don't like him. _I_ don't like him half the time anyway," she said with a bright grin. Again I laughed.

"So it's been a while since I've seen you," Alice said and smiled softly. I felt my cheeks heat.

"Yes it has. Thank you for inviting me to dinner," I said and she waved her hand.

"Hey it'll be nice. I've been stuck with him and my oh so lovely husband for about two weeks. Cindy's no help either," Alice joked and rolled her hazel eyes.

"Cindy, Mommy is talking about you!" Edward yelled and Alice sighed with irritation. I heard small thumps march their way to the kitchen until the incredibly small young blonde child stared at Alice.

"Not nice! Not nice!" she said and wagged her finger at Alice. I tried to hold back my laughter as Alice stuck her tongue out at the girl.

Suddenly the angry expression melted away from her face and she straightened. A bright grin showed off her small white teeth.

"I'm so happy!" she screamed and ran back into the living room leaving us laughing at her sudden mood change.

"She is precious," I said in between my giggles.

"Eh, I married her. Her dad was just part of the package," Alice said and I laughed again. Suddenly the sound of a door closed and a tall lean man came into the kitchen. He had the same colored hair as his daughter and the bright blue eyes.

I was surprised how much he resembled…Jasper. Huh.

"Yet another thing to add the long list of why I love my daughter," he said and came behind Alice encompassing her in a hug.

Edward laughed.

"Hey Joe," he greeted.

"Hey," he said and his blue eyes landed on me. I blushed.

"This is Bella. Bella that's Joe," Edward said introducing me to the tall gentleman who looked a bit too much like my cousin.

"Hello Bella," he said and crossed the room to shake my hand. I shook his.

"Hello," I greeted and he sent a bright smile my way.

"Well, dinner is done. Shall we move into the dining room?" she asked and we did.

Dinner was filled with talk about Joe's work and how he and Alice met. She asked about my job and then we talked about Edward's. They told jokes of the past and Alice asked if I was seeing someone. That caused a bit of an awkward situation as I realized Edward hadn't mentioned that.

"Um yes actually," I said pushing the mash potatoes around in my plate.

"Oh?"

"Um Jacob Black. We uh well we were friends for a long time and then it just seemed like a natural next step," I said and shrugged my shoulders. Edward had grown quiet.

"What does he do for a living?" Joe asked seemingly unaware of how awkward it was to talk about Jake.

"He's a mechanic. He's very good. It's his passion," I said and Joe laughed.

"Cars are every man's passion," he joked and I smiled.

"So how do you guys know each other?" Joe asked looking between Edward and me and there it was.

The question that involved the past. I had no idea how Edward and I cleverly avoided discussing it the past week, but we had. Edward cleared his throat and sat up a bit straighter.

"We…"

"They dated during high school," Alice said quickly.

"Oh. Wow it's amazing you guys are still friends," Joe said taking a bite of his food. I looked toward Edward and smiled. It _was_ amazing. He shot me a grin.

"Belly and Eddie! Belly and Eddie!" Cindy sang as she poked her chicken with a spoon. Edward laughed and ruffled her hair. I took a deep breath and tried to block out thoughts that really didn't belong in my head. Not now. Not anymore.

"So Edward have you heard anything with the hospital?" Joe asked. Edward shook his head.

"Well we're hoping you get it. Cindy will be crushed if you leave," Alice said and Cindy looked up at that sound of her name.

"Eddie no go! Eddie stay here with me! Right Uncle Eddie?" she asked widening her blue eyes and pouting in a completely heart breaking expression. Edward smiled softly.

"I hope so kiddo," he said.

"But I mean even if you don't get it, which I hope you do, is going back to Forks so horrible? I mean you would have a secure job and I mean it can't possibly be so bad when the Swans no longer live there," Joe pointed out.

"No, but Forks holds memories," Edward said and I stared down at my plate. A quiet came over us. The only sound was the forks scraping across the plates. Even Cindy had stopped her humming to chew contently.

"So Bella what brings you here?" Joe asked after a while to start the conversation. I smiled politely.

"I'm visiting my cousins," I answered and he nodded.

"How do you like it so far?" Alice chirped.

"Bella believes it's too cold," Edward answered for me and I shot him a look into which he only shrugged and offered a smile. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well it can get pretty hot here. Once we had a summer where the temperature was near the hundreds. Cindy got so hot she stripped out of her clothes and ran around outside," Joe said laughing at the memory. I glance at her. She smiled her toothy grin.

"I chased her down the block," Alice said with a frown but shot her a loving look.

"I was like No David only it was No Cindy," Cindy giggled in her high chime. Alice laughed along with her and the conversation took a new turn. Dinner wasn't so long after that. We talked more about Cindy's misadventures. When it was over we went into the living room. I watched Edward hold and play with Cindy as if she were her own. It reminded me of my dream.

I was surprised how calm I was watching this. It came so natural to him and I knew one day he would make a great father. It was clear Cindy was head over heels for him. I smiled as I watched them and then Edward disappeared upstairs to put her to bed. Alice sat next to me on the couch.

"He really loves that little girl. I can't wait until he finds out about my own," she said and I widened my eyes in realization.

"You're pregnant?" I whispered though we were the only ones in the living room. Joe had gone to clean the kitchen. She smiled brightly and looked down at her glass of water.

"Yeah. I just found out about a week ago. I just haven't found the time to tell him. If he does have to be sent back to Forks, I don't want him to feel bad because he'll miss out," she said absentmindedly patting her stomach.

"He'll be happy either way," I assured her.

"Oh, I know. He's just too sweet and loving not to. Cindy never had to warm up to him. She loved him as soon as she met him. Emmett however scares the crap out of her. Every time she sees him she goes running for cover," Alice said and laughed at her own memories. I managed a smile.

"So how is Emmett?" I asked.

"Oh, he's good. He got into the construction business. Has Edward told you?" she asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, he enjoys hunting a bit too much. Other than that he's the same old Emmett," she said and rolled her shoulders around.

"I never did find out his reaction," I mused.

"Oh that," she laughed a bit before continuing, "He gapped like a fish for about five minutes after you left. I had to explain everything. He was angry about it, but when Edward came home that night he couldn't find the anger to yell at him. But I supposed it doesn't really matter what he thought. You left as soon as he found out anyway," she said nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders.

I bit my lip and looked away.

"I had to leave," I said softly.

"I know. Edward knew. Why he broke it off I still don't understand. How you understood was beyond me. I mean I thought for sure you guys would have tried to make long distance work, but I've been wrong before," she stated and took a sip of her water. I snapped my head toward her.

"He broke it off?" I asked.

"I know. He told us," she said unaware of my shock.

He had lied to them. He told them he had ended it. I sat on the couch. I didn't know how to respond. He had lied. Why?

"Uh…"

"I mean I could see why he did it. He was always the kind of person that put other people before himself. I mean he said he didn't want you waiting around for him. He used his own weakness against him," she said shook her head.

But he didn't. I had used his weakness against him. Not the other way around. I couldn't seem to grasp this.

Edward came running down the stairs at that moment prohibiting me from finding out anything else.

"Well, I put her to bed. I think I'll take Bella home now," he said with a smile. I cleared the expression of confusion off my face and nodded. I stood and he went to get the coats.

"It was great seeing you again Bella," Alice said standing and bringing me into a hug. I hugged her back and when we pulled apart Edward handed me my jacket. I quickly pulled it on and walked toward the door.

Edward kissed his sister on the cheek and said he would be back soon. I waited until we had driven for awhile before I spoke.

"Why did you tell your sister that you broke up with me?" I asked and he glanced at me.

"What?" he asked.

"You told Alice that you were the one who broke up with me. Why?" I repeated.

"Gosh, I don't know. It just happened. I just thought it would be easier. I told her it was a mutual break up. She just took it as the fact that I broke it up and you understood. I just never felt the need to correct her," he said and shrugged.

"_Was_ it a mutual break up?"

"Do you really want to get into this?" he asked and I watched as he tightened his hold on the steering wheel.

"Yeah sure, why not!" I argued and folded my arms over my chest.

"No, Bella it wasn't mutual because you knew from the start I didn't want us to end. You ended it. According to you, you couldn't wait, do you remember?" he shot back and I was stunned. I stared at him.

"I ended it because it thought it would be easier for you!" I shouted.

"Well from now on, don't do me any favors," he stated in a calm voice which I knew meant he was very angry. I bit my lip to stop myself from saying anything else. He parked a few apartment buildings away from Rose's. I opened the door swiftly and climbed out, closing his door a bit too roughly. I began to walk down. I heard the car door close.

"Bella!" he called stopping me.

I turned. He was standing on the driver's side looking at me from across the car.

"Take a quick walk with me?" he asked his eyes pleading in the dim light.

"I don't think it's a good idea.

"Please," he asked again. I sighed loudly.

"It's cold. And dark," I said watching the frosty white breath form in front of my mouth from my words.

"Just around the block," he said again and I felt my shoulder's sag.

"Fine," I said and he came around. I walked toward him and we began to walk instep together.

"I'm sorry. I was out of line," he apologized after a moment. I bit my lip and nodded.

"Yes, but it was expected. I'm sorry I did what I did, but everything I said was a lie. I only broke it off because I wanted you to go to college and have a life. I wanted you to date and live normally instead of having a girlfriend in another state. One that was supposed to be your enemy," I said and he laughed a humorless chuckle.

"I didn't date throughout high school," he shared and I blushed.

"I did date through College though. I had one serious girlfriend and a couple flings," he said and I cringed because I didn't really want to know.

"I didn't date through high school either. I went on a few dates during college but nothing serious. It was for appearances, really," I said as we rounded the corner.

"You told me you didn't want to be attached," he said and dug his hands into his pocket.

"It was a lie. Everything I said was a lie, I just knew it would be better. I never wanted it to end," I said with a heavy breath.

"Then why end it?"

"I already told you," I said angrily.

"That's bullshit. Nothing about that breakup was good for me," he shot back.

"It got you into college. It got you a job. How could you say that?" I said my voice rising.

"It didn't get me you."

"You would have grown to resent me for it. It wasn't easy for me, Edward. It hurt like hell but somehow in my disillusioned mind I thought you would have came looking for me. I thought you would have tried to make it work after everything was settled like you once promised me!"

"So now it's my fault because _you_ left me. _You_ broke up with me. _You_ told me you couldn't wait!"

"I already know I did wrong! I already know I screwed up! I know and I've had eight years to deal with that!" I said anger making hot tears form in my eyes.

Then he came closer grasped my face into his hands and kissed me. I was shocked.

His lips moved hurriedly against my own frozen ones and he took another step closer bringing our bodies closer together. He tilted my head and demanded a response from me. My eyes fluttered closed at the familiar feeling of his lips on my own. Blood rushed to my face and the tingling began on my lips. The one that felt like an electric current.

I pushed myself closer to him and ran my hands into his hair tilting his head a bit to make it easier. Our lips molded around each other. His hand left my face and came to hold my waist bringing us impossibly closer.

My lips shook softly from a small vibration and I realized I had hummed in response to the kiss.

The kiss.

I broke apart hastily and stepped away from him and held my hand to my mouth. I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair.

"We can't, I can't do this," I said walking back the way we had come. He grasped my arm.

"Bella, I know you still love me," he said and I twirled on him. His face was unreadable.

"I don't think that matters much," I whispered still shocked at what I had done.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" he asked his voice rising.

"I'm getting married, Edward. I can't… we just can't…" I couldn't find the words to explain. I needed to leave.

"Do you love me, Bella," he asked as he grasped my shoulders and made me look at him. Staring into his eyes, I knew the answer. I had never truly stopped. Reconnecting had only allowed me to fall in love all over again. What I had with Jake was nothing like this.

"Yes, but…"

"You wanted me to try and make it work, we could try now," he said and his pleaded with me.

"No we can't. It's too late now," I said and felt the tears slide down my cheeks.

"No! It's not too late, we can…"

"How? I can't just leave my job. I can't just leave Jacob. I have roots settled. I have responsibilities. I can't just give it all up for a maybe," I said and tugged free from his hold.

"We're not a maybe."

"Yes! We are. There are no guarantees. It is too late. You've had seven years of chances Edward and I waited and now, now it's just too late," I said.

"You told me once that you wouldn't give up on me!"

"I can't do this Edward! I love you, I do and I will most likely always love you, because what we had was special, but I can't," I whispered and tried to walk away.

"Bella!"

"No, just don't!"

"Meet me at the corner of the restaurant. Where we first reunited, do you remember? When you found me? I'll wait there for you. Meet me at three O'clock tomorrow," he said and I shook my head because I knew where he was talking about. I imagined going and finding him there. Starting all over and pretending everything would be okay.

"I can't do that, Edward," I said and felt a sob shake through my chest. I didn't dare turn to look at him.

"This is our second chance! This is fate telling us we were meant to be!"

"Fate screwed up! Fate threw in my grandfather's death and moving away. Fate threw in Jacob and my job. Fate made us enemies!" I said and swiveled once again.

"Fate made us fall in love. Fate brought us together again. Fate is giving us another chance," he replied smoothly.

"A chance I clearly can't take!"

"A chance you're afraid of," he stated and I shook my head.

"Yeah, I am afraid. I have a steady life and you're asking me to risk it all to run away with you? It's insane," I said and he shook his head.

"So spending your life with someone you clearly don't love is something someone sane would do?"

"Sane people have done it their whole lives," I shot back and winced. I had just admitted that I didn't love Jake, but that wasn't true either. I loved Jake, just not in the way I loved Edward. I couldn't love anyone like that. He shook his head at that.

"I love you, Bella. I want to make us work again. What we have many people don't find. Don't…let it go," he begged and I felt a fresh round of tears take over.

He was offering everything I had ever hoped for. He was offering _us_ again and I felt the tears freely from my eyes because I couldn't. Everything was so wrong. Life wasn't a love story. Life wasn't a movie. Life was real and you paid for the choices you made. Things didn't end after the happily ever after kiss.

"Don't wait for me, Edward," I whispered and ran away from him.

Fate had brought us together.

_Life_ was pulling us apart.

. . .

_**BLACKHAWKS! WOO! We won that sh*t! Sorry for the Philly fans or non sports fan but I gotta give my team props! I mean…c'mon it was pretty awesome! And I think you should thank them too cuz this chapter's early posting is becuz of them! ;) Chicago is boss! Hehe!**_

_**Okay so it's safe to say you know what Edward was talking about two chapters ago. Um the next Chapter will be the last, depending whether or not I do an epilogue and I'm a fan of epilogues, but… I don't know…you think this story needs one? Eh, tell me next Saturday. June 19**__**th**__**, 2010!**_

_**Review!**_

_**-T. Tanya**_


	17. Bliss

"Explicame porque razon no me miras la cara. Sera que no quieres que note que segues enmorada. Tus ojos me muestran pasion y falsos sentimentos. Por el hecho de tu rechazarme mientras te mueres por dentro. Sabes bien que no puedes olvidarme y mucho menos enganarme. Todavia no a nacido otro hombre que pueda enamorarte. Si antes de inventarse el amor ya yo estaba amando. Ni el amor de Romeo y Julieta llego hacer tan grande."  
-**Aventura**  
(_Explain to me the reason you don't look at my face. __Maybe you don't want me to see that you're still in love. Your eyes show me passion and fake feelings. For the fact of you rejecting me while you're dying inside. You know very well you can't forget me and much less cheat on me. There hasn't born another man that can make you fall in love. Since before love was invented I was loving you. Not even the love of Romeo and Juliet got to be so big.) _

**Bella**: "Get up!" Rose said and pushed me softly. I only moaned and pulled the light fleece blanket over my head. She sighed and again shook my shoulder. I didn't respond to her. She could go to hell and back and I wouldn't care. She growled once and I knew she was only getting angrier.

"Bella! It's twelve. You just going to sleep the day away?" she asked and I responded by standing up and dragging both the fleece and pillow behind me. She followed my every footstep.

I made my way down the small hall and opened her bedroom door. I plopped my pillow down and curled up on the full size bed.

"Ugh!" she screeched. She sat down making me bounce slightly before growling something under her breath.

"Are you going to tell me what happened last night?" she asked and I shook my head and I pulled the blanket once again over my shoulder. I was awake now. The pain had caught up and I didn't think I could sleep again. I only stared numbly at her windows and traced the design of her curtains over and over again.

"If he did something to you, Bella I swear I'll rip—"

"No. It's my fault," I said softly stopping her rant and watching the sunshine dance over her bedroom floor.

"You're fault?" she asked and I closed my eyes allowing the tears. Why not? If I was going to make myself suffer I'd do it thoroughly. Crying felt good. I had given up my chance, but I had too. I had too.

There were so many things getting in the way. I couldn't meet him…I just, I couldn't.

"You don't want to talk about it?" she asked and again I shook my head. She sighed and lay next to me.

"Vera's coming over. We're going to chat about the wedding. She said she found this wonderful dress. It would suit you to the tee. She sent it to my email. It's actually very pretty. She's only known you for like 5 seconds and yet she knows you better than I do. I like that about her. I always have…" Rosalie trailed off as sleep once more made its way toward me.

I would grasp whatever I could. I wanted sleep. I needed it. I didn't hurt when I was asleep. I didn't think. Everything floated around in a mess of strange visions and stranger sounds. I didn't have to understand or like it. It just happened.

I didn't control my dream either. I let them take me where they pleased. I guess dreams decided to give me what I couldn't really have. I dreamed of Edward. I dreamed of a life we could never have together.

. .

"Poor thing," I heard a soft whisper creep into my thoughts. I stood up hurriedly and looked around the dark bedroom. I had slept most of the day away. It was already four. Hadn't Edward said he would be there at three?

It was settled then, right? I was too late. I threw the blanket off me and stretched slowly feeling the bed sores. I groaned and stood slowly. My legs were wobbly. I felt like a mess. My cheeks were stained with dry tears. I stepped out of the bedroom and heard the voices once again.

Vera must have been here. Her voice was the one that had woken me. I shook my head and opened the hall closet searching through my suitcase and pulling out some clothes. Rose and Vera must have heard but they didn't say anything. I was glad. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone. I couldn't stop myself from glancing at my watch. Would he still be there? It was snowing out.

It was probably cold. He wouldn't wait in the cold and snow right? I wasn't worth that.

I shook my head to clear him from my thoughts and walked into the bathroom. I stripped and stepped into the shower. I took a bit longer than was necessary, but I didn't care. The shower helped waken me and felt nice on my stiff joints and sore back. It washed away the tears from my cheeks and hid the new ones that I couldn't stop from coming.

When the water began to run cold I stepped out and quickly changed into a new pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt.

I walked into the living room to catch Rosalie and Vera picking though their pizza. Rose looked up as she peeled off a mushroom and placed it back in the box.

"Why do you order the supreme if you're going to take it apart?" I asked and surprised myself. My voice was hoarse. I cleared it and Vera rolled her eyes.

"Hey! I eat the mushrooms I can't see. I just don't like eating the ones I can see. This is fungus? Who in their right mind eats that knowingly?" she asked and wagged the mushroom she had just peeled off in front of me. I rolled my eyes and took it from her fingers and popped it into my mouth. She made a face. I couldn't even laugh.

I walked around the couch and sat on the empty loveseat. Some comedy was playing on the television.

"That's terribly disgusting," she said and wrinkled her nose. I faked a smile and ate another one from the box. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I picked a slice up and began to nibble on it.

"She'll eat anything on a pizza. Except fish," Rose said and rolled her pretty eyes.

"You hardly taste it when you mix it with tons of different toppings," I breathed and took a bite.

"So what brought you out of bed?" Vera asked. I shrugged not really knowing the answer.

"What happened last night?" Rosalie asked putting her slice back into the box and leaning forward to stare at me. I stared numbly at the television.

"Nothing. I just…nothing," I stated and took another bite pulling myself closer together to compress the pain. I wasn't sure if it actually worked, but it wasn't about to stop now.

"Nothing is always something," Vera said and peeled off a pepperoni slice and popped it into her mouth. Unlike the mushrooms she liked to eat pepperoni purely by themselves. I guess we all had weird quirks with food.

I shook my head and realized I had finished the slice except for the crust. I threw it back into the box where it was picked up by Rose and eaten. I didn't like crust.

Edward had once teased me about that. He told me it was the best part. I shook my head. He wasn't supposed to be in my thoughts.

"Bella, you can tell us. Talk it out," Rose said leaning forward and placing a hand on my calf in comfort. Tears prickled but I held them back.

"I…it's nothing," I whispered and watched as the television was abruptly shut off. I looked toward Vera who had leaned forward with wide eyes.

"You were going to say something," Vera said and I rolled my eyes not truly wanting to talk about it. I had made my choice now it was my turn to wallow and get over it.

"Edward has something to do with this," Rosalie said and leaned forward. The tears began to sting. I swallowed hard.

"He asked me to runaway with him," I whispered. Vera gasped audibly.

"What about Jake?" she asked covering her mouth with her hands. I nodded and felt the tears slide down my cheeks.

"Exactly! I love Jake. He's such a good guy. He's sweet and funny, and makes me feel better when I'm sad," I said and felt my throat tighten because Jacob was a good guy.

"You just described a friend," Rosalie added and raised her blonde brows. I snapped my head to her.

"I…I love him. What Edward asked me to do was ridiculous! What was I supposed to do? I have a life. I can't just up and leave!" I defended.

"He asked you to run away with him…" Vera mused in her romance voice. It was wispy and soft.

"It's really not that simple. I have Jake and my job and it isn't like our families are best friends!"

"Oh bullshit!" Rose growled. Vera and I both looked at her.

"You can be a teacher anywhere!" Rose said and crossed her arms over her chest. I ran a hand through my hair.

"It's not that easy. I just can't pick up my things and leave. I have a class of 23 I would be disappointing!"

"Oh boohoo! They're seven. They get sad for two days top and next thing you know its Miss who?"

"Are you seriously going against my decision?" I shot back.

"Only because I know you'll regret the one you're making now!" Rose said and stood up before walking into the kitchen. Vera sat on the couch stumped.

"We're talking about the Cullen boy? Edward?" she asked her eyebrows rising. I nodded and pushed my hair away from my face. Rose came back with a glass of water and sat back down.

"Next reason you can't do it?" she asked.

"Rose, I'm doing this. It's over. I told him no!" I said stunned by the change in her.

"Why?" she asked and I shook my head as the tears began to flow freely.

"He's a Cullen, Rosie," Vera said softly and I looked at her with thankful eyes. She smiled and then a loud ringing filled the room.

"Henry," she mouthed before standing and walking toward the bedroom to talk with her fiancé.

"She's right. He is a Cullen."

"That never stopped you before. He was a Cullen eight years ago. Did that ever mean anything? You were still a Swan," she shot.

"Yes and look how our relationship ended!" I shouted.

"You were children. You're fully functioning adults now! You're parents don't control your decisions anymore!"

"But family is still important to us!" I said and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes.

"And look where you went yesterday! Alice. Alice Cullen or whatever her last name is! You have my support. You have hers. You had your grandfather's! Are we not family?" she asked softly. She made this sound so simple. She made it sound easy.

"What about Jasper? My parents? His?" I whispered.

"Jasper will get over it. He loves you too much not to. And you don't think your parents would put it aside. You think they'll risk never seeing their only child again for this? Or their only chance at grandkids?" she asked and I took a deep breath.

"I made my choice, Rosie. Don't make it harder," I said in a defeated voice. The room grew quiet.

"I don't really believe you have," she whispered and I stared at her with watery eyes.

"I'm happy. I was happy before he came into my life and I'll be happy when he's gone," I said in a heavy breath.

"You're such a liar!" Rose stated.

"Rose, I don't love him anymore. I did once, but everything is different now. I fell in love with another man. I've created a life without Edward and I don't need him," I lied and sat back on the couch.

"You do love him Bella! You've met your one and only and you know it. I know you love Jake, but you don't love him like Edward," she said in a cold voice that she had never directly used on me. I stared her down.

"I have to!" I stated.

"Why?" she asked her eyes hardening. Before I could answer the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Vera said loudly and came out the hall to answer the door. We both looked toward the door as it swung open.

Rose and I gasped why Vera stared dumbly.

He didn't…

"Bella!" he said with a bright smile and Vera moved to let him in. He walked in and pushed aside snow off his jacket. His bright smile made my eyes water and my heart pump a little harder.

"What-what are you doing here?" Rosalie asked with wide eyes.

"Jacob," I said with much less enthusiasm.

.

.

.

**Edward**: I opened my phone with numb fingers.

"Yeah?" I asked into it.

"You coming home?" Alice asked on the other end.

"I…" I knew it was time to go home, but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I was giving up if I went home, but she wasn't coming.

"It's been 4 hours. You probably have frostbite," she said angrily. I only chuckled. Wow four hours. That was a long time. I closed my eyes in defeat,

"I'm pretty toasty actually," I teased. Anything to get my mind off of her. I didn't want to have these feelings twice. I didn't think I would live through the first time. Now it was feeling much much worse. The sinking of your heart into the pit of your stomach. The nausea that crept up. The plain exhaustion that floated throughout my entire body.

"Cindy wants you home," Alice said and I ran a hand through my snow covered hair.

"Okay," I said staring at my watch. 7:30.

"I'm sorry," Alice said quietly.

"I should have known it. But I had to be sure," I said with a heavy breath.

"You couldn't actually expect her to come. You did end it first," she said and I felt the laugh break free. The bitter humorless laugh.

"No, I guess I couldn't. I'll talk when I get home," I said quickly and hung up the phone. The cold was catching up with me now. I rested my head against the brick wall letting the mixture of emotions run through me once more. I didn't actually think I would ever feel this again. This heartbroken feeling.

I was almost positive it could never happen after she left eight years ago. I was almost positive because I knew I would never feel the way about anyone again.

And dammit I was scared after she left. She accused me of not chasing after her, but it scared me. I didn't want to find her again only to know she had started a life without me. I couldn't take that feeling again.

It was ironic now that I thought about it.

I had never sought her out for fear of finding her with a life, but truth was she waiting for me all that time. God that just killed.

I waited too long. But I had given it my best. I could accept that right. I could live with that right?

I did all I could. She had to meet me halfway and she decided she couldn't do it. I couldn't even be angry at her and that just pissed me off more. I could never be angry at her. I hit my head against the wall hoping the pain in my head would distract me from both her and the cold.

I opened my eyes after a while to find that the city had actually grown a bit quieter. It was the cold and the night that had calmed it. There weren't as many pedestrians out in the streets, but the cars still zoomed by endlessly.

I peeled myself away from the wall.

It was truly over.

I took a deep breath to hold myself together and began to walk away. Our story was amazing and this was the final end.

I wished it could have ended so many different ways. I wished I wasn't a coward. I should have tracked her down earlier. I should have acted sooner. Maybe I should have even put up a bigger fight when she wanted to call it off, but I couldn't find myself to be selfish enough to ask her to wait for me.

She still did.

I glance back. I shook my head at my stupid thought and walked to my car.

We were done.

.

.

.

**Bella**: It was empty. Dammit all!

I kicked the wall and leaned against it trying to catch my breath. I saw two cups of coffee on the edge and knew he had been here. He _had_ waited, but I was too late now.

I felt my eyes prickle. I had ended a perfectly good relationship. Broke a good man's heart and there was nothing to show for it. I pulled my hair and felt the tears slide down my eyes.

What was wrong with me! The pain was quick and excruciating. It felt as though someone had ripped a hole in my heart. It hurt beyond belief because I was too late. This was it.

It was _finally_ over.

My legs couldn't find the strength to hold me up and I felt my body slide along the wall until I sat on the lightly covered snowy ground. I froze and let the shivers and shakes of sobs control me.

How could I be so stupid?

Rose was right about everything. I had no reason _not_ to be with him. He was everything and now he was gone. The tears continued to leak down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them now.

I rested my head against my knees. Maybe it wasn't over? Maybe I could go to Alice's and…

And what?

Tell him I changed my mind. What if he doesn't accept it? What if he accuses _me_ of being too late as I had done with him?

It would be better than admitting it was over right?

"Bella?"

I snapped my head up and saw him standing on the edge of the curb watching with weary eyes. A slow smile crept over my face. I stood and threw myself at him. He was cold and I briefly wondered how long he had been out here. The tears didn't stop, but the reason was completely different. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"You came," he whispered into my ear. I laughed softly but I wasn't ready to pull away from him just yet. It felt nice to hold him.

"You waited," I replied.

He was mine again. His smile, his eyes, his perfectly ruffled hair was all mine. I couldn't live without this.

"I'm sorry," I began to mumble into his neck and kissed the line of his jaw. He pulled back and took my face in his icy fingers.

"I'm so glad you're here," he whispered and I thought I saw his eyes water but before I could check for sure his lips were on mine.

I sighed in contented bliss and wrapped my numb fingers in his hair. This kiss was everything. It was our anger, our happiness, our regret, our sadness, our past, our future all wrapped up in this. This simple kiss.

Our lips moved in a dance they clearly remembered all too well. It was better than anything I had ever experienced. His fingers dug harder into my skin making my face tilt slightly to give better access. My head was dizzy at our breathless effort.

There really weren't words to express this feeling. This feeling of another chance. Our happiness.

He pulled apart slowly and rested his forehead against mine.

"I love you," he breathed softly. I smiled.

"Me too. I love you. I do. I'm sorry for making you wait. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for—"

He shut me up by capturing my lips in another kiss.

"Shut up," he said with a laugh before closing his eyes. He didn't kiss me again. It was quiet and I took the moment to stare at his face. I softly stroked his cheek and his eyes opened lazily. I smiled again because I couldn't keep it off my face.

"I am the most horrible person ever. Who breaks up with their boyfriend after they traveled all the way to Chicago just to spend Christmas with you," I said with a hysterical giggle.

"He was glutton for punishment. You were always supposed to be with me," he said his eyes darkening slightly. I nodded slowly and rubbed my thumped softly under his eyes.

"Always," I agreed in a whisper. He smiled suddenly.

He pulled away and offered me his hand. I stared at it for a while and then back at him. His eyes were shining in relief and joy. I smiled brightly and twined my hands with his.

We were going to be okay.

With our hands together and tucked at our side we began to walk down the street. Something we had never done and this was change. This was us. This was our end.

This was our fate. Our taken second chance and this time around we would be okay. We would find a way to make it.

"Where we going?" I asked and his hand squeezed softly around mine.

"Somewhere warm. I'm freezing," he said with a laugh and I began to laugh with him.

"Yeah, okay."

I leaned against him.

We'd deal with everything as it came along. Crossing every bridge when we come across it. We would do it together and we'd get through it.

Now our mission was to get warm.

But I had to admit I was feeling pretty happy just being next to him. Just being together.

"What are we going to do now?" I asked and swung our closed hands. He wrapped his arm around me and placed it over my shoulder all while holding my hand.

"I was thinking maybe a summer wedding, two kids, and a house in the suburbs."

"That sounds good to me."

"I thought so."

"Could we make it three kids?"

"Bella…"

"Okay. Fine. Just promise me our happy ending," I said with a smile.

"I promise forever and always to make you happy."

"To make _us_ happy."

"_Us_. Forever."

. . .

_**People seriously doubted my happy ending! What the heck! I only have a few stories without them. I'm a huge fan of them. Eh, at least I kept you guessing but I think everyone knew in the back of their head that Bella would pick Edward. **_

_**Wow so this story decided it wanted to drag a few more chapters from me than I actually planned. But I've got to listen to my stories. Big scare…this chapter was almost not posted because I lost my flash drive and my lap top doesn't have internet. Luckily my bro-in-law had one I could borrow. :)**_

_**Okay so 'THE EPILOUGE' gets posted in like the next two days for sure. In the mean time…**_

_**REVIEW!**_


	18. Epilogue: Acceptance

"Love is…when you've made it."  
-_Kim Casali _

The piano began to play the first few chords. She took a deep breath to steady herself. She was ready. She could do this. She plastered a smile through the nerves. Charlie patted her hand and took it in his arm and they began to walk down the aisle.

Every face turned to stare at her. There were eyes of every shape, size, and color. Some faces held smiles of joy and excitement. Some of awe. And though she hated to admit it there was some of discontent. This was her day and she would ignore them.

Her legs felt a bit weak and she grasped a bit tighter to her father's arm. She couldn't breathe anymore. The music seemed to fade. Everything was so nerve wrecking.

_Breathe_, she reminded herself and looked straight ahead.

A tall blonde smiled at her and mouthed the words beautiful. The two tiny brunettes next to her looked happy and calm. They looked gorgeous.

But her eyes strayed and she met a fiery green pair of eyes. His mouth lifted in a crooked grin and everything washed away from her. The nerves, the fear, and the worry. Everything was perfect in that moment and she forgot the slow steady pace she had started. Her father held her a bit more tightly.

When they did reach the end he placed a kissed on her cheek and cupped it softly.

"I love you," he told her and she thought his eyes watered for a moment before they cleared and he left her to sit with her mother. She smiled at her parents and turned to face her soon to be husband. She handed her bouquet to her cousin and held his hands in hers.

The priest began to speak. She wasn't listening to well, but she had known the words by heart.

She spoke her lines with ease and as she watched him do the same it seemed to hit her.

She listened to the words clearly and found tears in her eyes.

He _was_ truly making a promise to love her forever. _They_ were making a promise. This was them. This was it. Their happy ending. Their everything.

"I do."

He had said it with his clear firm tone and she couldn't stop herself. She held his face and kissed him. She heard the small laugh of their audience but neither of them cared that she couldn't wait for the priest to speak the lines.

His lips moved softly against hers and she hadn't realized the tears had traveled down the length of her cheek until she felt the salty liquid at her lips. He pulled away and they turned to face the crowd that no one thought could ever happen.

Applause filled their ears and she smiled happily at her parents and at his. His mother and father rose and made their way to them. Esme wrapped her arms around her new daughter and kissed her cheek. Out the corner of her eye she saw Charlie and Renee doing the same to Edward.

She pulled away from Esme and hugged Carlisle lightly.

When they turned to face their son she wrapped in a hug by her mother. After that was a sea of both Swans and Cullen's making their way through to them.

She caught a glimpse of a small baby with dark hair and bright blue eyes making his way through the crowds.

The small bride's maid pulled away from the group and picked him up in a large swoop and kissed his cheek. The flower girl made her way to her mother. Bella pulled away from her current in law and made her way to the family.

"Oh Bella, I'm so glad you're finally apart of the family," Alice said hugging her tightly even with the small toddler in her arm.

"So am I," she said with a sigh of relief. The blonde headed flower girl giggled. Cindy twirled making her dress spin and ran off once more.

"I never thought this would happen," she said gesturing to the large crowd still congratulating Edward. She stared at them and a slow smile crept over her face.

"No, neither did I," she told her new sister.

"Well hold him and I'll start the reception," Alice said handing the dark haired baby to Bella.

"Not very traditional," she mumbled and snuggled the baby. Alice simply stuck her tongue toward the bride and ran off. Bella had never imagined having three fantastic wedding planners planning her garden wedding. She bounced the baby on her hip softly.

He giggled and she laughed along with him. She felt two strong arms slowly wrap around her waist.

"You look so amazing with him," her new husband said kissing her neck softly. The baby's face glowed when he caught sight of his uncle. Edward took him with ease and tossed him into the air.

"You don't look so bad with Joey, either _Mr._ Cullen," she teased and he settled Joey on his hip while sending his new wife a grin.

"Well we'll have plenty of time for starting our own family after the wedding, _Mrs._ Cullen," he said softly and she smiled as they walked off to find both Alice and Joe.

"I think we might have another Swan and Cullen wedding," Edward breathed into her hair later that night as they danced outside under the moon and stars.

"Hmm?" she questioned perfectly contented resting her head on his chest.

"Look?" he said nudging her head with his shoulder softly.

She looked up to see her cousin dancing and giggling with his brother.

Rosalie giggled softly at something Emmett had said and shamelessly batted her long eyelashes. He would never stand a chance.

Bella laughed breathlessly as she stared at them.

"I think she likes him," Bella whispered into her husband's ear.

"Same for him. Go figure," he said with a breathy laugh. She rested his head on her chest and he twirled them effortlessly.

"It'll be a good thing," she said and he smiled and kissed her head.

As she danced she spotted all kinds of meetings.

Her mother and Esme were sitting at their table laughing like old friends. Uncle Jim and Carlisle were talking about something and looking as though they thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.

Jasper and Maria were sitting with Alice and Joe and laughing as they watched their children dance together.

Delilah, Jasper's one-year-old and Joey, Alice's nearly two-year-old were circling each other on the dance floor. Delilah was spinning and watching the ruffles of her dress and avoiding Joey as he tried to pull her long brown curly locks. She smiled at her nephew and niece. Jasper was always more like a big brother to her, than a cousin anyway.

Cindy and Irina, Kate and Garrett's daughter, were giggling like sisters as they played with each other's hair and Cindy selflessly gave her the daisy chain that had been placed on her head for the evening. They cooed and giggled over Vera's child. Henry Jr. was a small 6-month-old baby with curly dark hair and a smile that brought out the adorable dimple in his cheeks.

Rosalie was head over heels for him and her little niece and Bella knew that she would make a great mother. She turned back to her cousin who winked at her from behind Emmett's large shoulder.

"I never thought he would settle," Edward said and she brought her attention to him.

"I never thought this would happen, but it did," she said and he cupped her cheek softly.

"I love you," she whispered and he leaned down slowly.

"As I love you," he said and kissed her forehead as he took his place once more and began to twirl her once more to the slow dance the band was playing.

"I'm sorry for ever doubting this," she breathed as she looked into his vibrant green eyes. He lifted his mouth into a smirk. He pulled her a bit closer and she was surprised how comforting that movement was.

"I'm not mad. There's no reason for you to be sorry for anything. Look at how we ended up," he said and she laughed.

"I think we did better than Romeo and Juliet don't you?" she said and rose softly to kiss him.

"We did," he said and gave into her kiss.

This was them. No more doubt, no more fear. Everything was how she wanted. Nothing was perfect and they would face trouble along the way as all married couples did. They would grow from their mistakes. They would learn from each other. They would become closer and learn to move on.

They would argue, they would fight, and they would laugh, and kiss, and have fun. But they would also love and be happy. No matter what fate threw their way they would stick together.

Forever and after.

. . .

_**Wow it's finally finished. It's such a relief and sadness to end a story but at last everything comes to an end. I hope you enjoyed the epilogue. It's not long, but it's enough to show what happens. **_

_**I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed my story. Thanks for sticking with me, even when the updates were not a regular occurrence. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say and thought. **_

_**Now it is father's day, so I'm going to go spend it with my dad now. ;) **_

_**Please review. **_

_**T. Tanya **_


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